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I didn’t choose to be a single mom.

I hate the stigma attached to single moms. Just because you’re a single mom, you’re often viewed as some irresponsible slut who got knocked up and use the baby daddy for money. I hate it. I was married to my children’s father. We both wanted the two kids. We both decided to have the two kids. We both planned to be a family forever. At least that’s what he said. But what he did was cheat on me when I was having our second child. Still I tried for the sake of my kids to work it out. You know what? He left me. He left me because I couldn’t “get over” what he did. Maybe because his attitude was literally, “you just need to get over it and forgive me.” It doesn’t matter. The point is, I did not choose to be a single mother. I did all the things I should have done. I was a good wife and mother. My only mistake was trusting a man I shouldn’t have. Even one of my ex boyfriends once told me when I made a complaint about being a single mom, “Well that’s what you chose.” Like I was playing some sort of victim. While I didn’t choose this life, and I hate the stigma attached to it, I will say I do believe it’s made my kids and I closer than we ever would have been otherwise and for that I’m thankful. Just my thoughts.
by on Feb. 5, 2018 at 4:21 PM
Replies (11-18):
by Group Admin on Feb. 10, 2018 at 12:15 AM
2 moms liked this
You did chose this. You chose being a single mom over living with a cheater. It is a choice. The choice itself isn't bad or good. It's just a choice. Stop listening to what society wants you to believe and start loving life. Don't let society tell you you NEED a man. I don't NEED a man. I want one in my life. There is a huge difference.

BTW my husband of 12 yrs packed his shit and left me a dear Jane while the kids and I were at a boy scout meeting. He emptied the bank account down to -$750 (yeah that negative). So he left me with 2 kids and less than nothing. It's been 13 yrs since that happened. I can tell you the man did me a huge favor. He doesn't see his kids or pay his child support. However I've watched him re-marry twice now and he's still not happy. His parents have disowned him and he still blames me for all his troubles. I could careless. I now own my own home. I have a great career and I've re-married a wonderful man who actually cares about me. That 1st year after my x left was absolute hell, but I'd do it all again to be where I am today.
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 10, 2018 at 12:28 AM
1 mom liked this
Being a single mom is awesome.

by Group Admin on Feb. 10, 2018 at 8:18 PM
To an extent I am your stereotypical single mom. I was never married to my ex and had ds at 17. I don't care what other people thinl and they can say what they want.
My ex and I are raising our son to the best of both our abilities. Being married doesn't make somone a good parent.
by on Feb. 14, 2018 at 3:51 PM

I understand the stigma and it is not fun. I've been a single mom for a long time and it was tougher at first. I felt like a failure even though it was never what I wanted for my family. I want to say that it will get easier, but I know that we're different. I hope that it will get better for you. There are so many voices, some well-meaning who give advice or opinions. Choose carefully what you listen to. One thing that really helped me is spending some time alone and journaling. I couldn't do it every day because...single mom! But many nights before I went to sleep, I would spend a few minutes writing down my thoughts. I'm a Christian, so for me, it was like writing down my prayers. It helped me to get everything out of my head, to see things more clearly, and to have some hope for the next day. I knew that I couldn't change the past, but I wanted to be the best mom I could for my kids. Is there another single mom that you know that you admire or who you think is doing a good job? It might be good to talk to her and get some support and encouragement.

by Member on Feb. 20, 2018 at 7:54 PM

I know what your going through and to add insult to injury the person he was cheating with which was a Co-Worker he got her pregnant!

Dream, if you want to chat I would love to.

Have a great day tomorrow,


by Anonymous 3 on Feb. 21, 2018 at 8:19 AM

I didn't choose to be a single mom either. I tried to fight for my family but my ex-husband wanted to be with someone else. 

by Anonymous 4 on Mar. 13, 2018 at 7:30 PM
I’m proud to be a single mother, I left my kid’s dad and I don’t regret it. It’s been 5 years and hard, but worth it.
by Anonymous 5 on Mar. 13, 2018 at 9:43 PM

I'm sorry, there are a lot of insensitive comments made to single moms. 

One mom here criticized me for not having morals or respect for myself because I had an ex. 

Just know it is best to be a single mom than to be in bad company - and ignore the nonsense. 

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