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I know I know but will not give up CS

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Hey all, I know the child support story is the same...some get all, some get some, some get nothing, some want nothing...I know. I'm in the get nothing boat and he's not involved at all. For now I'm fine with him not being involved as I think it would be more harmful than helpful to my child but I will never be fine with him thinking he can get away with skirting his financial responsibilities, so I just wanted to know has anyone tried the next and final step for child support? Having the parent tried on FEDERAL charges not state charges. If so how did it would out for you? I plan to request child support/DOR recommend my case for federal prosecution.
by on Feb. 8, 2018 at 6:22 AM
Replies (11-20):
Arigo
by Member on Feb. 9, 2018 at 9:26 AM
Completely understand your point of view. It just isn't my point of view. Although I'm not paid for the time I put in to ensure my daughters future it will pay off in other ways:
1. She will have a more plentiful financial future, enabling her to more opportunities.
2. I've done everything in my power to help her future.
This doesn't drain me, I do my research, remain proactive for my daughters rights and keep living my life. I think many "deadbeats" bank on the fact of eventually they'll just give up. I will not but each situation is different.
If your child's father could only afford $2 a month is it worth that time or energy? No. Mine can and is ordered to pay more than a mortgage monthly.
That's daycare, language lessons, physical therapist time( hell thats less taxpayers money)...I won't give up nor will I break. My child sees a happy parent living life each day and that will remain as will my fight for what is her basic right, the support of both parents.

Quoting AzariahsMother:

Never considered and feel that if state can't do anything doubt federal could either.  I mean what's the worst they would do?  Put him in jail when than I really wouldn't get anything. 

Guess for me I have come to a point where it's not worth me putting my unpaid time into it.  I'm to busy raising my kids, working full-time, and trying to live a happy life to continue to give something like this energy that drains me.  Just isn't worth it anymore.

Arigo
by Member on Feb. 9, 2018 at 9:27 AM
1 mom liked this
🙃I do know the fact that he's not in hiding and flaunts his wealth does help my case. Now luck would be the system working and and working faster than a snails pace🙃

Quoting Saphira1207:

Really!

You have no idea how lucky you are!

I don't know then. The only other suggestion I have is talking to a lawyer.  I don't know how feasible it is for you though.

Quoting Arigo: I can see those problems if that were the case but in my case he's easily found ( not in hiding) and boasts jobs on social media so he is outwardly flaunting his contempt.

Quoting Saphira1207:

I don't know anyone who's done that.

I would think the problem is the same as if it were state charges, though.

If you can't find him or he's working under the table, you're still not going to get anything.

Arigo
by Member on Feb. 9, 2018 at 9:29 AM
1 mom liked this
Spoke with a few attorneys but unfortunately private attorneys can't recommend a case for federal prosecution only your states attorney can so I'll just remain that constant advocate for my little one👍🏽

Quoting Saphira1207:

Really!

You have no idea how lucky you are!

I don't know then. The only other suggestion I have is talking to a lawyer.  I don't know how feasible it is for you though.

Quoting Arigo: I can see those problems if that were the case but in my case he's easily found ( not in hiding) and boasts jobs on social media so he is outwardly flaunting his contempt.

Quoting Saphira1207:

I don't know anyone who's done that.

I would think the problem is the same as if it were state charges, though.

If you can't find him or he's working under the table, you're still not going to get anything.

AzariahsMother
by Member on Feb. 9, 2018 at 1:26 PM

Let me as you this... What are you hoping to gain by taking it to a Federal level?

  • Jail time?
  • Felony record?
  • Pay more?
  • A greater force to pay?

Guess that's the question what are you hoping for the Federal Courts to do that the State hasn't already?

Your daughter's future will only pay off in those ways if he starts paying.  You can put all the time and energy into you want but if the end result is him not paying there isn't anything brighter other than what you have provided. 

Agree "deadbeats" fully bank on Mom's giving up but there is something called back support that doesn't go away even at the age of 18, so while the current payments may stop the back doesn't.  At least here in MN. 

Side comment: in another post you said

Quoting Arigo: I can see those problems if that were the case but in my case he's easily found ( not in hiding) and boasts jobs on social media so he is outwardly flaunting his contempt.

So if that's the case why isn't he paying if there is a court order and has a job?

Quoting Arigo: Completely understand your point of view. It just isn't my point of view. Although I'm not paid for the time I put in to ensure my daughters future it will pay off in other ways: 1. She will have a more plentiful financial future, enabling her to more opportunities. 2. I've done everything in my power to help her future. This doesn't drain me, I do my research, remain proactive for my daughters rights and keep living my life. I think many "deadbeats" bank on the fact of eventually they'll just give up. I will not but each situation is different. If your child's father could only afford $2 a month is it worth that time or energy? No. Mine can and is ordered to pay more than a mortgage monthly. That's daycare, language lessons, physical therapist time( hell thats less taxpayers money)...I won't give up nor will I break. My child sees a happy parent living life each day and that will remain as will my fight for what is her basic right, the support of both parents.
Quoting AzariahsMother:

Never considered and feel that if state can't do anything doubt federal could either.  I mean what's the worst they would do?  Put him in jail when than I really wouldn't get anything. 

Guess for me I have come to a point where it's not worth me putting my unpaid time into it.  I'm to busy raising my kids, working full-time, and trying to live a happy life to continue to give something like this energy that drains me.  Just isn't worth it anymore.


Arigo
by Member on Feb. 9, 2018 at 3:56 PM
Honestly my original post just wanted to know if anyone on here has pursued that option. So far no one has. I wanted to gain knowledge of what to expect if I'm forced to go down that road...but I'm not there yet, I'm still waiting on this last enforcement of contempt from the state,

If I do have to go down that route, what I expect to get from it? All of the above that you mentioned (except pay more; not sure that's even an option) because if the state enforcements didn't do anything I'm sure federal prison absolutely will.

Even if it ends with no payment at all I still see the worth in trying, in exhausting all possibilities, in knowing I did everything I could for my child. I'm not against parents who have said this is too much I have to let it go but for me it's not too much, it's not draining me, I have no negative energy it's just working with the system as a means to an end and understanding the systems ins and outs.

We do have back support in Florida also, my daughter isn't even a two and he owes over 35,000. So I'd rather get the support now then when she's say 26, he wins the lotto and the government can finally intercept his money? Because his old age social security would never pay off that amount, if it's even around by that time! I digress....

The second part, yes there is a court order and he's self employed so he simply doesn't send in the money and files IRS statements always showing huge losses🙄

Quoting AzariahsMother:

Let me as you this... What are you hoping to gain by taking it to a Federal level?

  • Jail time?
  • Felony record?
  • Pay more?
  • A greater force to pay?

Guess that's the question what are you hoping for the Federal Courts to do that the State hasn't already?

Your daughter's future will only pay off in those ways if he starts paying.  You can put all the time and energy into you want but if the end result is him not paying there isn't anything brighter other than what you have provided. 

Agree "deadbeats" fully bank on Mom's giving up but there is something called back support that doesn't go away even at the age of 18, so while the current payments may stop the back doesn't.  At least here in MN. 

Side comment: in another post you said

Quoting Arigo: I can see those problems if that were the case but in my case he's easily found ( not in hiding) and boasts jobs on social media so he is outwardly flaunting his contempt.

So if that's the case why isn't he paying if there is a court order and has a job?

Quoting Arigo: Completely understand your point of view. It just isn't my point of view. Although I'm not paid for the time I put in to ensure my daughters future it will pay off in other ways:
1. She will have a more plentiful financial future, enabling her to more opportunities.
2. I've done everything in my power to help her future.
This doesn't drain me, I do my research, remain proactive for my daughters rights and keep living my life. I think many "deadbeats" bank on the fact of eventually they'll just give up. I will not but each situation is different.
If your child's father could only afford $2 a month is it worth that time or energy? No. Mine can and is ordered to pay more than a mortgage monthly.
That's daycare, language lessons, physical therapist time( hell thats less taxpayers money)...I won't give up nor will I break. My child sees a happy parent living life each day and that will remain as will my fight for what is her basic right, the support of both parents.

Quoting AzariahsMother:

Never considered and feel that if state can't do anything doubt federal could either.  I mean what's the worst they would do?  Put him in jail when than I really wouldn't get anything. 

Guess for me I have come to a point where it's not worth me putting my unpaid time into it.  I'm to busy raising my kids, working full-time, and trying to live a happy life to continue to give something like this energy that drains me.  Just isn't worth it anymore.

deltathree
by Gold Member on Feb. 9, 2018 at 4:13 PM

My ex was arrested for not paying & it didn't put 1 penny in MY pocket.  Just saying.  GL!  He worked under the table,etc.  He was not going to pay.  It happens sadly to many women.

AzariahsMother
by Member on Feb. 9, 2018 at 4:16 PM

In my 15 plus years with Family Court (don't want to give away my age LOL) I have never seen anyone take it to a Federal Level.  I would think most Mother's would rather have the money since I am assuming that's the goal of child support vs putting someone in jail for years, or have  a felony on their record to make it harder for them to work.  I fully understand you wanting what's best for your daughter as I hope as Mother's we all do.  Some might call what you are thinking about a bit extreme.  Guess it comes down to values and what is most important to you.  What drives and motivates you to be the best Mom you can be.

It's shitty for him to be self employed and not paying.  I mean don't know about you but I always have said if your trying that's what matters.  We all don't make billions, but sounds like he isn't doing bad so there isn't a reason why he isn't paying vs him working for $10hr and just can't afford $500 a month (just an example). 

I wish you luck in whatever you do and hope things work out.  Sounds like a long road ahead.

Quoting Arigo: Honestly my original post just wanted to know if anyone on here has pursued that option. So far no one has. I wanted to gain knowledge of what to expect if I'm forced to go down that road...but I'm not there yet, I'm still waiting on this last enforcement of contempt from the state, If I do have to go down that route, what I expect to get from it? All of the above that you mentioned (except pay more; not sure that's even an option) because if the state enforcements didn't do anything I'm sure federal prison absolutely will. Even if it ends with no payment at all I still see the worth in trying, in exhausting all possibilities, in knowing I did everything I could for my child. I'm not against parents who have said this is too much I have to let it go but for me it's not too much, it's not draining me, I have no negative energy it's just working with the system as a means to an end and understanding the systems ins and outs. We do have back support in Florida also, my daughter isn't even a two and he owes over 35,000. So I'd rather get the support now then when she's say 26, he wins the lotto and the government can finally intercept his money? Because his old age social security would never pay off that amount, if it's even around by that time! I digress.... The second part, yes there is a court order and he's self employed so he simply doesn't send in the money and files IRS statements always showing huge losses🙄
Quoting AzariahsMother:

Let me as you this... What are you hoping to gain by taking it to a Federal level?

  • Jail time?
  • Felony record?
  • Pay more?
  • A greater force to pay?

Guess that's the question what are you hoping for the Federal Courts to do that the State hasn't already?

Your daughter's future will only pay off in those ways if he starts paying.  You can put all the time and energy into you want but if the end result is him not paying there isn't anything brighter other than what you have provided. 

Agree "deadbeats" fully bank on Mom's giving up but there is something called back support that doesn't go away even at the age of 18, so while the current payments may stop the back doesn't.  At least here in MN. 

Side comment: in another post you said

Quoting Arigo: I can see those problems if that were the case but in my case he's easily found ( not in hiding) and boasts jobs on social media so he is outwardly flaunting his contempt.

So if that's the case why isn't he paying if there is a court order and has a job?

Quoting Arigo: Completely understand your point of view. It just isn't my point of view. Although I'm not paid for the time I put in to ensure my daughters future it will pay off in other ways: 1. She will have a more plentiful financial future, enabling her to more opportunities. 2. I've done everything in my power to help her future. This doesn't drain me, I do my research, remain proactive for my daughters rights and keep living my life. I think many "deadbeats" bank on the fact of eventually they'll just give up. I will not but each situation is different. If your child's father could only afford $2 a month is it worth that time or energy? No. Mine can and is ordered to pay more than a mortgage monthly. That's daycare, language lessons, physical therapist time( hell thats less taxpayers money)...I won't give up nor will I break. My child sees a happy parent living life each day and that will remain as will my fight for what is her basic right, the support of both parents.
Quoting AzariahsMother:

Never considered and feel that if state can't do anything doubt federal could either.  I mean what's the worst they would do?  Put him in jail when than I really wouldn't get anything. 

Guess for me I have come to a point where it's not worth me putting my unpaid time into it.  I'm to busy raising my kids, working full-time, and trying to live a happy life to continue to give something like this energy that drains me.  Just isn't worth it anymore.


Arigo
by Member on Feb. 9, 2018 at 6:17 PM
He will get every piece of Karma coming to him😤

Quoting deltathree:

My ex was arrested for not paying & it didn't put 1 penny in MY pocket.  Just saying.  GL!  He worked under the table,etc.  He was not going to pay.  It happens sadly to many women.

Arigo
by Member on Feb. 9, 2018 at 6:23 PM
1 mom liked this
Lol age is just a number🙃. We're probably close in age I didn't choose to have a child until my 30's😱( proof even the best laid plans...)

I understand about it being considered extreme because even when I talk to the attorneys legal assistant SHE didn't know about the federal route, which tells me they rarely or have never done it or she is very green🙃.

I know the road might be long, I filed when my little one was only three months old and it took almost a year just to get the final order, so my sense of time and efficiency has completely changed dealing with this legal system🙄

Thanks for your thoughts, info, and kindness👍🏽

Quoting AzariahsMother:

In my 15 plus years with Family Court (don't want to give away my age LOL) I have never seen anyone take it to a Federal Level.  I would think most Mother's would rather have the money since I am assuming that's the goal of child support vs putting someone in jail for years, or have  a felony on their record to make it harder for them to work.  I fully understand you wanting what's best for your daughter as I hope as Mother's we all do.  Some might call what you are thinking about a bit extreme.  Guess it comes down to values and what is most important to you.  What drives and motivates you to be the best Mom you can be.

It's shitty for him to be self employed and not paying.  I mean don't know about you but I always have said if your trying that's what matters.  We all don't make billions, but sounds like he isn't doing bad so there isn't a reason why he isn't paying vs him working for $10hr and just can't afford $500 a month (just an example). 

I wish you luck in whatever you do and hope things work out.  Sounds like a long road ahead.

Quoting Arigo: Honestly my original post just wanted to know if anyone on here has pursued that option. So far no one has. I wanted to gain knowledge of what to expect if I'm forced to go down that road...but I'm not there yet, I'm still waiting on this last enforcement of contempt from the state,

If I do have to go down that route, what I expect to get from it? All of the above that you mentioned (except pay more; not sure that's even an option) because if the state enforcements didn't do anything I'm sure federal prison absolutely will.

Even if it ends with no payment at all I still see the worth in trying, in exhausting all possibilities, in knowing I did everything I could for my child. I'm not against parents who have said this is too much I have to let it go but for me it's not too much, it's not draining me, I have no negative energy it's just working with the system as a means to an end and understanding the systems ins and outs.

We do have back support in Florida also, my daughter isn't even a two and he owes over 35,000. So I'd rather get the support now then when she's say 26, he wins the lotto and the government can finally intercept his money? Because his old age social security would never pay off that amount, if it's even around by that time! I digress....

The second part, yes there is a court order and he's self employed so he simply doesn't send in the money and files IRS statements always showing huge losses🙄

Quoting AzariahsMother:

Let me as you this... What are you hoping to gain by taking it to a Federal level?

  • Jail time?
  • Felony record?
  • Pay more?
  • A greater force to pay?

Guess that's the question what are you hoping for the Federal Courts to do that the State hasn't already?

Your daughter's future will only pay off in those ways if he starts paying.  You can put all the time and energy into you want but if the end result is him not paying there isn't anything brighter other than what you have provided. 

Agree "deadbeats" fully bank on Mom's giving up but there is something called back support that doesn't go away even at the age of 18, so while the current payments may stop the back doesn't.  At least here in MN. 

Side comment: in another post you said

Quoting Arigo: I can see those problems if that were the case but in my case he's easily found ( not in hiding) and boasts jobs on social media so he is outwardly flaunting his contempt.

So if that's the case why isn't he paying if there is a court order and has a job?

Quoting Arigo: Completely understand your point of view. It just isn't my point of view. Although I'm not paid for the time I put in to ensure my daughters future it will pay off in other ways:
1. She will have a more plentiful financial future, enabling her to more opportunities.
2. I've done everything in my power to help her future.
This doesn't drain me, I do my research, remain proactive for my daughters rights and keep living my life. I think many "deadbeats" bank on the fact of eventually they'll just give up. I will not but each situation is different.
If your child's father could only afford $2 a month is it worth that time or energy? No. Mine can and is ordered to pay more than a mortgage monthly.
That's daycare, language lessons, physical therapist time( hell thats less taxpayers money)...I won't give up nor will I break. My child sees a happy parent living life each day and that will remain as will my fight for what is her basic right, the support of both parents.

Quoting AzariahsMother:

Never considered and feel that if state can't do anything doubt federal could either.  I mean what's the worst they would do?  Put him in jail when than I really wouldn't get anything. 

Guess for me I have come to a point where it's not worth me putting my unpaid time into it.  I'm to busy raising my kids, working full-time, and trying to live a happy life to continue to give something like this energy that drains me.  Just isn't worth it anymore.

cjsmom1
by Group Admin on Feb. 10, 2018 at 8:21 PM
I think taking it to the federal level is a waste of time and money. Why isn't the state garnishing his wages? I doubt the federal courts will do much more then the state court.
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