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Going to be a single mother and having a hard time adjusting to that fact

Posted by Anonymous
  • 10 Replies
Hi. I'm 37 and got pregnant by a player. He isn't in the picture and won't be in the future. I keep blaming myself for his choices because he tells be he can't take my mood swings anymore. All he ever did was lie to me about anything and everything. I get so depressed anymore and the hormones are out of control. I don't know how I'm suppose to act or how I am suppose to handle any of this. Does anyone have any advice?
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 26, 2018 at 6:52 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by Carrie on Feb. 26, 2018 at 6:59 PM
Everything will work out for you.
by Group Admin on Feb. 26, 2018 at 8:58 PM
1 mom liked this
You are not the problem he is. People like that will make up reasons to blame you.
I wouldn't count on him being in the picture at all. You have to decide if you want to take him for child support
by Kendra on Feb. 26, 2018 at 9:34 PM
Adjusting to him not being in the picture now may be the best for you and your baby in the long run! Think of all of the issues you won’t have to deal with with a father who doesn’t want to be a Dad! Take this time to learn to enjoy all of the good things that come with parenting a kiddo that you get to mold and shape into the kind of human you’ll want your baby to be! Talk to your Doc about your feelings so that you can start to address them now so they don’t become gigantic after baby gets here! Start developing your support system now and take a deep breath, parenting isn’t easy no matter if you have an active partner or not. You can do this!!
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 27, 2018 at 8:02 AM
1 mom liked this
Once you stop contact with him your mind will clear up and you will become stronger. You will no longer hear his judgment of you in your mind so you can heal from his treatment. Only speak to him about the baby when necessary and if it’s too difficult email only. Time will do wonders. Focus on the birth of you a baby and bringing him or her into a positive environment.
by Gold Member on Feb. 27, 2018 at 10:58 AM

All you can do is try your best. If he doesnt want involvement then that his his choice. I would keep him updated on the pregnancy and the birth unless he has specifically told you he doesnt want to know.

I would absolutely file for child support. You are likely going to need the help. He doesnt get to dump his financial responsibilities but there is nothing you can do make him be a Dad to the kid.

Do you have any other kids? All you can do is get your ducks in a row...figue out hoe you are going to support the child with little help. I hope you have friends and family close by as a support system.

How far along are you? Good luck

by Member on Feb. 27, 2018 at 2:43 PM

Just breath. 

Being a single mom is hard, but freaking out about it makes it harder. Just breath, take it one day at a time. 

You can do it. 

One day, down the line you'll realize how far you've come, you'll look back on it all and realize 'Damn, I did that.' You'll never have to depend on anybody or anything again. That doesn't mean you won't accept help when help is needed or offered, just that you can do it by yourself, and you're not afraid to ask for that help when you need it. 

by on Feb. 27, 2018 at 6:27 PM

Sorry you are going through this. No need to blame yourself on him not wanting to be in the picture. Hormonal changes during pregnancy is common and can be cause by stress or fatique. Do you have the support of a friend/family that can can talk to? You could also try talking to your doctor or a counselor if things seem to be too much and overwhelming. Praying things get better for you.

by Member on Mar. 1, 2018 at 3:59 PM
What all the ladies are saying is correct and you probably don't/can't hear or see it clearly now but you will.
Your still in the phase of getting over kit being a two parent will probably be even harder when your little one arrives because you'll have a lot of "if only her ...." plus the hormones.
But it will get better! Keep busy! Journal, find other single moms, prepare for baby, you will get through and before you know it your little one will make it to one years old and the father you wouldn't have thought about since god knows when...
You can and will do it!👍🏽 From one 30something single mom to another
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 1, 2018 at 4:01 PM
I'm wondering how gullible you are to have fallen for a player at your age. It's not like you are 18. Stay away from him and pull yourself together.
by Member on Mar. 2, 2018 at 12:27 PM
Call your health insurance to see if they cover therapy and find one in order to process this significant loss in your life. Also, if not covered contact a local community mental health center for services at a low cost. I wish you well on this new journey, but pls know you’ll be fine.
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