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New single momma :)

Posted by on Apr. 24, 2018 at 8:18 PM
  • 8 Replies

Hello Everyone I hope this post finds you well. I want to introduce myself and hopefully make some new Friends! I am a 28 year old single mom of 3 beautiful kids. I have been single for about 4 and a half years now. I have a question for the community now... How long have you been single and how do you currently feel about it. I have been through a  whole lot of emotions since my husband and I split, so just curious as to how others cope/deal with the day to day. Thank you for taking the time to read :)



by on Apr. 24, 2018 at 8:18 PM
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Replies (1-8):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Apr. 25, 2018 at 6:33 AM
Your screennname & title post throw me off. Ya u say new single mom yet have been single for 4 years?
Singlemomof3432
by on Apr. 25, 2018 at 2:20 PM

Yes I have been single for four years, new to cafe mom :)

alexsmommy51405
by Member on Apr. 25, 2018 at 2:24 PM

I've been a single mom for about 5 years now. I've been divorced for less than a year. Yeah I know the math doesn't add up. 

Let's put it this way, when my youngest was born (5 years ago) my ex-husband pretty much just stopped. He started drinking, sitting on the couch and doing absolutely nothing. In the first 4 years of my youngests life I spent all 4 of them putting my ex into one rehab after another. I did everything I could to help him and our family survive. I worked my ass off, did all the house work, did everything. I paid all the bills and paid OOP for health insurance for my ex. 

Now that I'm truly a single mom I kind of like it. Yeah it's hard, Yeah my kids don't get the same advantages as kids with both parents but at least I don't have an alcoholic leach sleeping on my couch and stinking up my place. 


Oliviasmom72
by Gold Member on Apr. 25, 2018 at 2:43 PM
I’ve been single almost 5 years. Really sick of it
cclun
by on Apr. 26, 2018 at 10:22 PM

I am not a single mom, but I feel for you.  It must not be easy but so glad you have such a great heart and loving attitude for your 3 beautiful kids.  You must love them so much!  I have friends that are single mom (one of my friend has 6 kids and her husband left her) and their kids grew up to be wonderful adults.  It was hard but very possible.  You can do it for your children!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Apr. 26, 2018 at 10:28 PM
So why are you in the single mothers group forum ?

Quoting cclun:

I am not a single mom, but I feel for you.  It must not be easy but so glad you have such a great heart and loving attitude for your 3 beautiful kids.  You must love them so much!  I have friends that are single mom (one of my friend has 6 kids and her husband left her) and their kids grew up to be wonderful adults.  It was hard but very possible.  You can do it for your children!

xSissysmurfx
by New Member on Apr. 29, 2018 at 11:50 AM

I've been single for three years next month. I prefer it. I have met men and have enjoyed spending time with them/talking with them but, to be honest -- the idea of introducing my kids (three year old daughter, seven year old son) to someone new makes me nervous and gets my stomach all knotted up. You read all these stories of boyfriends/girlfriends come into the parent's life and they end up hurting/sometimes killing the child(ren). No, thanks. 
Right now I'm enjoying my independence and being on my own. It's the first time I've ever lived alone and as of right now, I wouldn't have it any other way. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 29, 2018 at 4:05 PM

I was married, then became a single mom for about a year and a half before I started dating my ex that I had my second kid with. Then was a single mom again for a couple more years before meeting my now husband. When I was a single mom still, it was hard, after my divorce I moved 2 1/2 hours away from everyone I knew so that I could pursue a career I wanted that just wasn't possible to get in where I lived. I worked my way up in my job so that when I did end up pregnant again, I got some paid maternity leave. Then worked awhile again and stayed home for about 6 months before I became a single mom again.

Then I had some help buying a business and became a business owner. I've been doing that for about 5 years now. That helped me so much when I was still a single mom because i could bring my kids to work with me if I needed. I could somewhat adjust my hours. I stayed pretty busy so that helped distract me from being lonely. But at one point I just really wanted someone I could grow old with and who would be there to help raise my kids. My ex husband quit being in my oldest's life not terribly long after our divorce so I had her all the time. After I split from my ex I had my youngest with, he actually still was a father figure to my oldest because he had been in her life long enough that he cared about her. So that helped too.

I never needed a man, but I don't think there is anything wrong with a woman wanting to remarry (or get married if she hasn't been) just because she has kids already. I knew that when I was dating one guy, when I hated that I felt he disrupted our lives more than anything, (even though he was nice) he almost took on a father role too quick, I knew the way I felt then, it wasn't going to work so I ended it. Now when I got with my husband, just the way it felt, I knew I wanted him to be part of our family so I knew it was right.

Anyway, my biggest piece of advice is to keep busy with things, plan fun activities with your kids (doesn't even have to cost, like if you have Netflix, movie night with popcorn). If you decide to date, don't feel bad, go on dates, take it slow, wait some time to introduce the guy, but also I feel by a few months in, if things are great that it's ok to introduce as a friend, until you see how they get along, then introduce as a boyfriend. That is what I did. My kids love their stepdad. Good luck! Don't forget to take time for yourself as well!

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