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His ex called

Posted by on Jan. 25, 2008 at 9:58 AM
  • 17 Replies
Ok let me try to make a long story very short.  When I got preggo with my son I did not know his father was married.  I threw him out and he went back to the wife who had a son 2 weeks after mine was born.  My son will be 3 tomorrow.  His father has never seen him sent money nothing.  Never called for a birthday or Christmas.  So now him and the wife are divorced.  Mind you she never wanted him to have anything to do with my son.  So she finds me on myspace and says that just cause Ray wants nothing to do with him her and her kids do, they are siblings after all.  WHAT?  Three years later my son doesn't even know he has another sister and two brothers.  I am confused on what I should do.  I don't know if she is just wanting to start drama or she really feels like they should know each other.  his family has warned me she is trouble.  I just don't know.  Also, I am in the right mind to call his dad and rip him a new one tomorrow because I know he won't call.  I know I should probally leave it alone but I am so angry.  This all has just brought up so many bad feelings.  what do yall think?
by on Jan. 25, 2008 at 9:58 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Crazyhouse75
by on Jan. 25, 2008 at 10:14 AM
I would just leave it alone. He made the decision to stay out of the child's life, not you. My ex decided he didn't want visitation when our boys were 1 and 4. He has not sent Xmas, birthday, or any other gifts/cards since then. MY boys are almost 8 and 11 now....and very seldom do they say anything about their "dad". Mine also have a 1/2 brother that they know nothing about. Right now I am just leaving the situation alone. I mean, how in the world do you tell them that their daddy never wanted to see them but has other kids he sees all the time???  Good luck with whatever you decide.

                                                   
kelly371
by on Jan. 25, 2008 at 12:05 PM
Bump
Mommy_and_Bear
by on Jan. 25, 2008 at 12:21 PM
Maybe feel her out....  Just because her EX (ex for a reason) family says she is trouble...she may not be.  Perhaps chat, exchange pics...things like that for a bit.  If she's interested in a month still, then entertain the idea.  They are family, and it could make for an interesting play date partner.  LOL  If their divorce is fresh....I would be less inclined to have them meet anytime soon, though since I think it raises the drama likelihood.
kelly371
by on Jan. 25, 2008 at 1:02 PM

Quoting Mommy_and_Bear:

Maybe feel her out....  Just because her EX (ex for a reason) family says she is trouble...she may not be.  Perhaps chat, exchange pics...things like that for a bit.  If she's interested in a month still, then entertain the idea.  They are family, and it could make for an interesting play date partner.  LOL  If their divorce is fresh....I would be less inclined to have them meet anytime soon, though since I think it raises the drama likelihood.

Thanks for the reply they have been divorced for a little over a year.  The thing is they live in upstate NY and I live in Baltimore, MD so I don't think we will be having a playdate anytime soon.
blg119
by on Jan. 25, 2008 at 1:10 PM
I would leave it alone. Wait until your child is older and than explain that he has other brothers and sisters.

~Leigh 

 

soloto2
by on Jan. 26, 2008 at 9:57 AM

Do you think she is really doing that for the kids or that's her excuse to bond with you over bashing the dad?  If she never wanted them to have anything to do with eachother previously I think it's more of the later.

CrysDesi07
by on Jan. 26, 2008 at 9:59 AM
I agree with you
She is absolutely up to no good!
Follow what your gut is telling you.
Women can be so caniving
Quoting soloto2:

Do you think she is really doing that for the kids or that's her excuse to bond with you over bashing the dad?  If she never wanted them to have anything to do with eachother previously I think it's more of the later.

janagain
by on Jan. 26, 2008 at 10:02 AM
I think you should definitely not do anything right now.  Do not introduce your child to anyone you don't know that you can absolutely trust.  If she's still wanting to have the kids meet after a year or so, that would be a good time.   I would definitely treat this with a huge grain of salt.  Women are crazy, and they don't become less so just because they get a divorce.
ilovemyboy10110
by on Jan. 26, 2008 at 10:11 AM
As someone that's dad has fu@*ed up royally over the years and because of that I haven't been able to see my 2 half brothers since I was 6 months old, I say let them know about them (even though they 3e young) let them have phone calls, write letters, draw pictures, LET THEM HAVE CONTACT AND KNOW THEM!!!! My mom always tried to convince my brothers mom that we should have a relationship together. She has never so much as replied. However, my mom didn't give up she tried constantly all the time for over 15 years. As someone that knows she has 2 half brothers out there, but desides pictures have no idea what they look like (and those are from 20 years ago) I say let them have a relationship with their siblings. I know how hard it was on us, please don't do that to your child also. Its a pain that they will carry with them forever. This hasn't been one day that I don't think of my brothers
Bridgmama
by on Jan. 27, 2008 at 5:24 PM
I'd watch your back if I were you.  If she felt that way then she should've made it clear from the start and contacted you back then. 
 Bridgette
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