What do you ladies think?
Heres the letter:
I remember the first time I heard you use the term, "unpaid whore." My mouth dropped open and I stared at my car radio in shock. Anger came next, because I was one. "How dare you?" I thought. And, then confusion: "What sort of woman would demand payment??"
I stewed and brooded about it, but kept up my behavior. According to the movies, a man wanted a woman who approached sex like a professional, who didn't get emotionally involved, and that independent, aloof quality would make him fall in love with me. He'd see my softer side despite my best efforts to hide it, and we'd get married and live in the suburbs. Hey, it worked for Julia Roberts! (movie: "Pretty Woman")
In reality, though, I couldn't approach sex with mercenary efficiency. I came to care about the person I was sharing myself with, and watched, dumbfounded and crushed, when time and again they left me to marry someone else: Someone with self-respect; Someone with class. They treated me exactly as I was: a prostitute they didn't have to pay.
It took me a long, long time to realize that the way to a man's heart is NOT through his penis, despite what he might tell me, despite what the movies portray. Thanks to you, I've realized that I have to love MYSELF, respect MYSELF before anyone can love me, before I can love anyone back… Thanks to you, I finally see that a man's willingness to sleep with me is no compliment. It's not flattering to know that this man or that man will "do" me. They'll "do" practically anyone who offers it for free. Casual sex is like fast food to a man: a common, cheap meal he gobbles on his way to somewhere else, somewhere better, and then promptly forgets.
Nowadays, when a man tries to charm his way into my pants, I laugh. "I'm not gonna be your Happy Meal," I say, and walk away. I don't deserve to be used and thrown away; I won't let that happen ever again. I deserve to be treasured, savored, prized and loved.
What kind of woman demands payment? This kind. A man will pay me the RESPECT and HONOR and DIGNITY I deserve, for all the tender, sweet, nurturing love, fun and support I offer him - in bed and out. I don't care if I have to wait until I'm 90 to find this man! I won't ever settle for less.
Thanks for helping me become the confident, secure, sexy woman I was PRETENDING to be. "Unpaid whore" was a tough pill to swallow, but eventually it did me some good.