is he ready?

[KayJ787]

I have been dating a guy who has been divorced for two years from his second wife.  (long story...I know, this should be my first sign, but read on...)  He says he loves me but he is always referring to his past life.  Lori this and Lori that.  He even displayed a christmas card from her dirung the holidays!!  I saw a phone call from her last weekend on his cell phone.  He didn't answer it but he didn't tell me about it either.  I think he isn't over the marriage yet, how about you?

[Erin14]

That's a tough one....if he has kids with his 2nd ex-wife, then I would not think it's unusual about the phone call.....the holiday card on the other hand is a little odd. Do you know if they are trying to remain friends for some reason if there are no kids involved? The flip side of that, it seems like more and more people these days are able to remain at least cordial and/or friendly after divorce. Unless he gives you some other reason to doubt that he's over the relationship, I wouldn't worry about the phone call too much. If you asked it about it and he lied, then that's a different story - but if you saw the number on the phone and didn't bring it up - well, that's not fair to put on him.

[gypsysmiles]

How long were they married? Do you know why their relationship failed?
Have you two talked about his past relationships? 
Life happens. So what if he was married twice before - things happen.

I've never been married, but I remain friendly with most of my exes, with the exception of three. One died in a car accident 5 years after we dated, 1 fell off the face of the earth, and the other one I could care less about because he cheated on me in MY bed for half of our relationship.

I can understand him wanting to remain friends with someone he cared about.

All I can say is make him understand that it bothers you.

[2Nenes]

I agree I don't think he is ready.  And he may be trying to find a way to get back what he had.  I would proceed with caution.  I am sure he does love you.  Maybe he doesn't realize what he is saying when he mentions her all the time.  Although you didn't say how long they were married but she was a huge part of his life for a while and that is probably why all references are to her.