I met a man in February, spent 2 months flirting, 2 weeks getting to know him over dinner, he is a plumber...he fixed my sink (it took a while)...then one night...he decides to tell me he can't stand it...and kisses me.
Well, he was nicely built a little redneck/cowboy like....but, one thing led to another...I got the short end of that deal....
then...I get a phone call.....from a screamin b_tch....he is engaged!!!!!!!!!! And she found my number on his phone, and the card i sent him!
He never mentioned any woman in his life...never!! AARRGG! I cried for a week....6 years celibate, raising kids....and I get what seems like a good guy and a good chance...and I get douped (definitely didn't get screwed! He can handle things himself....apparently).
Wow! Big guys, with big feet and....and hearts the size of a puny little dried up raisin!
How do you know whether a guy is good, faithful and someone you want to take a chance on....???? I feel so naive!
Open to a lesson in ....love and life. - everywomanscall
i just think that at our age (31 for me) if a guy is single there is a reason. they might say that about us but, at least i know what im not going to put up with lol.
i say take things SLOOOOOOWWW freakishly slow with any guy you meet that seems like he is worth anything. if they arent patient for it then you know what they wanted. i do have a little 23 year old "friend" i keep for when the BOB aint doing it but we both know it isnt going anywhere.
Hi Everywomanscall~
I'm sorry about your story. You tried doing things the right way, so at least you know that in your heart. I applaud you also for trying. I am very down on love given my current situation - but the advice I would say is to really listen to the inner voice. Call it what you will, your woman's instinct, your conscience, your gut instinct - but LISTEN to it. Try not to listen to your heart. We women seem to do that too much, I know I do. I wouldn't be where I am today if I had followed my head and not my heart. LISTEN TO YOUR INSTINCTS!!! And try not to be like me, super down on men/love - hopefully I'll snap out of it, but without trusting it's a real uphill battle. I need to follow my own advice, huh?! Keep us posted. :))
Your post really touched my heart and I wanted to write and say, "I hear ya and I can relate!" The dating 'experts' always say to be open to meeting someone new, especially when you're 'out and about'.
So this year, I decided to follow the above advice. I stopped actively looking for a guy and just went about my usual business. During the past 3 months, I have been 'hit on' by 2 nice looking men who seemed at first glance to be 'my type'. Both men had good jobs, were in my age range and had children, and were very enaging when we ran into each other in a casual setting (WalMart and McDonalds for the record.) Both men indicated they were divorced and neither of them wore a wedding band. Upon checking them out and their story further (networking contacts, using "Google.com", as well as conducting a background check on them) I found out they were BOTH married! I called them both out on it and refused to meet them for the lunch 'networking' date they had in mind. Both seemed surprised at the lengths I had gone to in order to 'check them out.' They both apologized for their deception yet seemed surprised that I did not want to spend anymore time with them, even on the phone. I felt bad for their respective wives who may or may not be aware of their husband's flirtacious behavior.
Bottom line~ I still wear my heart on my sleeve. I still tend to believe someone at face value until such time as they prove they are not worthy. I'm still a hopeless romantic and I firmly believe that "THE GUY" for me IS out there somewhere, hoping that there is still one nice, sweetheart of a gal left who hasn't been too jaded by men to be open to meeting HIM. And I listen to my 'gut instinct' when it says, "something doesn't sound right here." And most importantly, I pray and cry out to God to bring this special man into my life when the timing is right for BOTH of us. I know that God has my best interest at heart and if that means I have to kiss a few toads or get my feelings or ego hurt a few more times before "THE GUY" for me shows up, then so be it. I'm along for the ride as long as God is my Pilot!
So hang in there and keep an open mind and an open heart~
Purple Star67~~
Dating is really tough. I find that guys carry more baggage than women! Single guys don't understand kids or they want to have many women to date. Divorced guys over do the support for their exes and pretty much prositute their lives for their ex and child. I am all for a good dad..but spending all your time w/ your chlidren while your ex goes out and has a life....what gives? These are the guys I have always landed.
Ive dated for 1.5 years ...post separation and am now divorced. Ive met a lot of guys. All kinds of stories. The best was the single guy who ended up married after 16 weeks of serious dating. I googled him..and pulled up his wedding announcement..photo and all! He had only been married 4 months!!!!
I just met what I think is the most decent guy Ive ever met in my life. We are still in the whirlwind stage. I have no advice on dating..other than keep a sense of humor. Meet guys casually at first. Ask lots of ?s If you suspect any shadiness.....turned to google and see what you find. There are usually tell tale signs to something is up..by when they can and cant call..what info they give and dont give..and when the can and cant see you. BE SMART. And knock on wood when you find the decent one!!
prayers for all involved..
- Everywomanscall
on Jun. 1, 2007 at 11:06 PM