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im having a hard time

Posted by on Jun. 14, 2007 at 10:55 PM
  • 6 Replies
my name is stephani im 21 my lil girl is 5 my son is 8 mo different dads my sons dad dissapeared im doing the best i can but i feel guilty that life is so hard on my kids right now
by on Jun. 14, 2007 at 10:55 PM
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by on Jun. 14, 2007 at 11:09 PM
Mine have different fathers, too. It just means more problems. I know it's hard on the 5yr old, I bet. Hang in there!
by on Jun. 15, 2007 at 9:52 PM

I understand how u feel. I'm 21 too with a 4 year old and her father hasn't seen her for 10 months now so, If u ever wanna chat let me know, maybe we can help each-other. lol 

by on Jun. 16, 2007 at 12:08 PM
My son and daughter have different fathers too. My son who is 4, his father split  right away. Ran from a job that paid him over $90,000 a year trying to avoid paying support. a year later I had my daughter jessika.  Her father was my best friend for 8 years. He went to Iraq and came back crazy. He has now disappeared too. Honetly I knwo it's for teh best. I would rasther they split now than when the kids were older. I know it can be hard. At one point I had not paid teh babysitter for 5 months. And she was providing our food and milk. My mother provided clothes. all I could afford was my rent. I have gone after both men. I am owed over $20,000 in back support. It's hard. i want my kids to have the best they can. I work my butt off. about two years ago I gota promotion. Things are now easier, I have a brand new car- paid off and I just purchased a house, with the a brown (not WHIte) pickett fence. and a swing in back.  Just keep fitting and doing your best. Now matter what ever happens I knwo my kids are happy.  Everything I do, I do for them.  Good luck!
by Ruby Member on Jun. 16, 2007 at 5:57 PM
i have two boys and their dad is an idiot. he pays support and sees them OCCASIONALLY but i'd just as soon he not. he is so half ass and my kids know it. i think by the time they are both teens they wont want to go visit him any more.

you shouldnt feel guilty though, u didnt ask to get left. just learn from this experience and choose better men. i used to feel guilty but why? im doing the best i can. kids can be happy if they do without as long as they are in a relatively stable and loving environment with a routine.

good luck! you will be fine.
by on Jun. 17, 2007 at 7:43 PM
It's hard to be a single parent.  Life seems so frustrating at times and you just want to run away, then your kids make you laugh, and you know it's worth it.  Some days are always better than others.  I know about feeling guilty, sometimes like you aren't a very good parent, but look at your children.  It's harder on us than it is them.  Just let them be kids' and enjoy a child's life.  It isn't about what they get when going to the store, but being loved by you.  Give lots of hugs and kisses and ALWAYS tell them a million times a day you love them.  My son is 6 and knows more about being poor than he should, but he understands why he can't always get something and it really doesn't bother him because he is LOVED by MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
by on Jun. 18, 2007 at 1:23 AM
I agree.  Don't feel guilty because ultimately the kids are happy and fulfilled by being loved by their Mom.  My kids understand that money is tight (there isn't any way around it; they hear it almost every day).  Things will get better.  I think you're doing great.  You have a 5 yr old and an 8 mo old and YOU are with them.  YOU are loving them.  You didn't ask to be dumped on, but you will take what happened and be stronger for it.  Your strength will show your kids that sometimes rough things happen, but you can keep going by believing in yourself and doing it for you and them.  Keep your chin up!!!  It will get better!
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