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Single Moms Single Moms

to marry or not

Posted by on Jul. 10, 2007 at 5:47 PM
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Hi everyone. I am new to cafemom. I am writing with a serious dillema. i have been dating a man for approximatley 2 years, we are now engaged. My ex husband currently has custody of my kids, because he had a more expensive lawyer and i had an emotional breakdown during the divorce 2 and 1/2 years ago.
 
I have recently discovered that the enviroment my children are living in (2 hours away from me) is less than desirable. (not taking my daughter to school, various live in girlfriends, filthy house, fast food meals all the time, not taking them to the doctor/dentist, ect...) I plan on seeking custody of my children so I can provide them with the stability they need.

One problem: My 6 year old has SEVERE ADHD, and my 3 year old has been spoiled so much that he doesnt mind me.

My fiance has a hard time dealing with my children. He has a 6 year old little girl that is the most mild mannered person Ive ever met. She minds, she cleans up after herself without being asked, ect...(not typical) My kids are very different. They are a BIG handful. I adore them, but I can admit that they are a lot to handle. I think the instability has created little monsters because that is how children deal with stress. Its normal.

my fiance is trying to decide if he still wants to marry me if I get custody of my children. Obviously I am going to seek custody whether he wants to be with me or not. My question is this: Am I being unfair to my children by waiting around with this man to make up his mind?
by on Jul. 10, 2007 at 5:47 PM
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