I am sooooo stressed out. My sons father and I were a somewhat high school thing. I was a junior, he was already graduted but in town ( doing nothing) We dated about 2 1/2 yrs, I had our son less than an year after graduating. We broke up when our son was 3 months old, he's almost 6 now. Our relationship was never healthy or adult like, it was more clueless teenage sex, him cheating and lying and my wating by the door.We went off and on for years, never officially getting back together. The problems were always till there. Problem is Ive been dating someone for about a year and a half now. He is literally the epitomy of what a women says she wants. He 's sweet, caring, loving, attentive, giving.. never asks for a thing in return, supportive, repsonsible, secure and whatever else. He never fails to show my son and I attention or love. He spoils the crap out of us both like we were rare gems or something. He's great. He even rubs my back every day. I mean everyday for the last year and a half. I trust him whole heartedly with me, and with my son. He's never called me a name or talked down to me...But in the back of my mind Bryce's dad is still there. Tearing at my heart like he always has. He's a good guy, he's been a good father physcially and emotionally. He loves his son more than anything. Tho he is irresponsible, still mean when he's angery ( name calling, down talking, a lot of cusing. Never anything physical. Im not peach either tho ) he never has a steady job, he's twenty six and his girlfriend, whom he lives with, just turned 18 for petes sake. He's a mess. But my heart still holds on. He has a beautiful side to him. Can a person change? It doesnt seem he has but he begs for the chance to prove it to me he has changed.( he's said that before, but he's older now. We arent kids anymore ) How do I let go so I can love someone else with all my heart, b/c rite now I cant. I cant let him go and I dont want to hurt my current man and I dont think I want to lose him either ,he's so amazing but I just cant decide. Can you really get over someone you loved for so long and who fathered your only child? I feel like Im doomed to never get over him so I should just be with him. Is it guilt? Is it b/c I want it for my son? Do I still love him? Is it worth trying? Am I nuts? Arrrrg! Any advice?
on Jul. 10, 2007 at 7:21 PM