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Hello Ladies,
I have made up my mind that I want to leave, now all I have to do is do it.  (easier said than done)  I know I'll be fine financially w/out him (have been already), he does nothing to help me raise my son or take care of the house, he's very rarely home and when he is his ass is glued to the couch where he either sleeps or watches tv.  I truly want to be away from him.  Why can't I bring myself to do it?  I don't even know how to bring it up.  We are both (all) miserable and it's killing me! 

Can you lucky ladies who found the nerve to do it please tell me how you did it?  I need your stories, ideas, thoughts, insight, anything!  I need to make this step and I don't know how!
Thank you so much.
by on Jul. 11, 2007 at 1:38 PM
Replies (11-11):
by on Jul. 12, 2007 at 10:28 PM
Guess i should explain more of the difficulties i faced leaving him..  well first of all we were young, he was my first love, i was his FIRST ya know, and we had our young son...     he started out being mentally abusive, by isolation, guilt trips for spending time with my family and friends over him, guilt about ex's from my past. then things started getting physical when i was like 8 months pregnant he held me down on the floor until i screamed, he did this in his living room in front of his family. and no one said anything!  he removed parts from my vehicle and hid my keys times when he knew he was going to pick a fight.  i began having anxiety attacks. after my son was born i left him he kidnapped our one week old baby, and a few months later i took him back..  he had me so convinced i needed him and that no man would ever want me now that a had a mothers body and another mans child..  i believed him for so long...  the physical abuse was few and far between but the fear was there. he shoved me down in the parking lot of a local grocery store i was humiliated. a cashier saw the incident and offered to call the police, i just hid my tears and told her i was fine...  then   we moved out of state together and away from my support system and things got worse.. the verbal abuse was daily I was constantly called a Bitch, Ignorant, Slut, and told to shut up all the time when i would say something he didnt like.  I cried everynight, i hid in the bathroom until he fell asleep because i felt dirty sleeping next to him..  he began hitting me more regularly, i began to fight back and things got really violent...  one occasional my son witnessed on of our violent fights and that was it for me, i called my family and we arranged for them to come get me..  although he was hurt i was leaving he hurt me even more by basically stepping back and letting me go telling me he need to experience more woman and dating because i was the only girl he'd dated or had sex with..  
i went home with my son and tried to move on, we'd talk on the phone and sometimes he'd guilt me into thinking id made a mistake and other times he'd tell he was glad i left...   after a few months of being away from him and hanging out with my friends i got pregnant for my daughter.  he made me feel like a whore.  it was possibly the worse time in my life, and after a really rough up and down summer. i almost moved back with him. then one day he told me he would never love my daughter the way he loved our son and I knew she deserved better and that was all I needed...    funny how the love for your children can totally change your view on life..  my mood went from depression and self loathing to being excited and hopeful of the future with my kids...   Thank God for the gifts he has given me!     there is my story long and boring...   but i can understand wanting to leave and needing to leave, but feeling helpless....    I couldnt have done it without my mom and the rest of my family!!
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