I married my husband when I was 24. He was my first boyfriend, believe it or not. I had dated a few men before that, but it never transpired into anything long term. At that time, I was very insecure and didn't really know what it was like to be in a real relationship. I thought what my husband and I had was normal. 5 years later, at age 29, I finally figured out that what we have is far from normal. My husband emotionally abuses me-it's the angry outburts ever few weeks and constant criticism type. He doesn't cuss, thank goodness, and he has never hit me. He wouldn't hit me because he "knows" that it is wrong. In his eyes, what he is presently doing is "normal" and not abuse, and that I am the one that is crazy.
I am a working mom and my husband expects me to take care of everything around the house. If he has to help out at all, he calls me lazy. His job is to mow grass, and he hasn't done that in weeks.
I sent him an email last night to his work (he works night shift), since I can never can get in a word edgewise with him in person, he just goes off on these outbursts and criticisms without letting me speak anything that is on my mind. Anyway, this email, I asked that he leave, that I can't take this anymore. It was in the best interest of our son (15 months), that he stay in his home that he is used to, where his bed is, his toys, etc. The next day when coming come my husband refused to leave and said I need to leave. So, I said I would be contacting an attorney then to see what we need to do to get this resolved. I called an attorney last night and left a message. I have not heard back yet.
At work I had second thoughts about whether or not I did the right thing and thought that my husband and I could talk things over when I got home. Well, my husband literally made it a living hell for me at home this afternoon when I got home. Part of it actually reinforced the decision I had made.
But, as my husband is working right now and my son is asleep, I still wonder where and how will I find the strength to do this. I don't know if I can. I feel like I have failed my friends and family. No one knows about this except my best friend.
Part of me does try to think about the future and actually having a "normal" and loving relationship someday. I know I could, I just need the strength to get out of the one I am in first.
I would appreciate any help you ladies could give me. Thanks for listening.