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court doubts

Posted by on Jul. 12, 2007 at 12:35 AM
  • 4 Replies
me and my daughters father were together for a yr before i got pregnant, he left me when i found out and threatened me through the whole pregnancy that he was going to hurt me and baby, and we are going to be going to court for child support...and he said he doesnt want to pay he will take her from me and leave, and by him saying he doesnt want to pay im thinking he means he might hurt her or me, if im having doubts like this should i see if he should sign off or just not show up for court?
by on Jul. 12, 2007 at 12:35 AM
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by on Jul. 12, 2007 at 12:41 AM
I went through something similar. I never wanted money or anything from my baby's father. I just wanted him ti disappear and leave us alone. He was an awful person. However, the money is for the child and the CHILD is entitled to his money. If he does not pay he will go to jail. You also must remember also that he might want to see the baby. If the court has him paying child support, they could also grant him visitation. If he gets visitation and you don't let him see the child, you could go to jail. SO, I would document everything he says and does and bring it to court. They will force him to pay child support and restrict visitation if it is proven that he will or has harmed the child. That is the only way a court will deny visitation rights. He has to be a danger to the child. You have to prove it and make a good case.
by on Jul. 12, 2007 at 12:48 AM
Oh, I feel for you.  Since my husband and I split up he has done nothing but make threats at me about taking my daughter away, so I have been to several different lawyers in the past couple of months.  First of all, no judge is going to take that baby from you and give it to him.  They would have to prove you an unfit mother (drugs, alcohol, abuse, neglect, etc) to even think about it, and im assuming you are a perfectly capable mother.  Second, child support payments have nothing to do with visitation.  If he pays child support all the time, it doesn't entitle him to see the child, vice versa, if he doesn't pay child support, you can't take his visitation away.  Kind of screwy but that's our legal system for you.  Since this guy has been making verbal threats at you about taking the baby or hurting you both, I would ask about a restraining order, to make sure he can't touch your child.  My mom told me that all you have to do is say he has made threats and that you are afraid for your's and your baby's life and they will do something about it.  I haven't tried, so I can't be positive on that though.  I think you should definately take that guy to court.  As long as you aren't doing anything wrong, you don't have much to worry about.  If you are very worried about it, go talk to a lawyer and they can give you facts about your rights and his rights as well.  I hope some of this helps...I know what it's like to have someone use your child to get at you and it sucks big time!! Good Luck!!
by Ruby Member on Jul. 12, 2007 at 2:48 PM
document any threats he has made to you and your daughter.

show up to court. they will refer you to mediation. he probably wont show but you can ask to mediate separately if you are afraid of him. dont agree to any unsupervised vistation. if he tries to get supervised dont worry, he wont show up maybe the first few times but probably not.

remember the less he sees the child the more he pays, and they will take it right out his check or out his tax return. eventually he will do civil time in jail or have his drivers license revoked if he dont pay.

i say change your number. dont talk to the mo fo any more. he is tryin to scare you. get a restraining order. dont give him any power. get your money. your child is entitled to it.

my ex did all this but instead of getting scared, i got MAD. get mad! it motivates you.
by on Jul. 16, 2007 at 1:53 PM
You can get a restraining order that keeps him from you and the child, while all this is going on.  If you go to court with a restraining order his visitation will be supervised if any is given!  Check it out with an atty! 
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