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Asking for information and help

Posted by on Jul. 14, 2007 at 1:21 AM
  • 3 Replies
Now I am a 22 year old mother of two babies both under the age of 3. And my ex-husband and I split over a year ago, "do to him cheating," and believe me I tried to save the marriage, but every thing that I did failed. But my questions or advise needed is that my little girl was very attached to her daddy and killed me to watch her cry after him then. But now that we are divorced and when he gets them for the weekend or well I just just got them back after his 6 weeks for the summer, and now when she goes to bed she cries and wants her daddy, but all I can tell her is that he is not here or that I can't call him either because he never keeps a phone number long enough for anything. How or what more can I do to comfort her in this because it kills me inside for to want something and it being out of my hands. I am up for any and all suggestions please.
by on Jul. 14, 2007 at 1:21 AM
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Replies (1-3):
chevythecat
by on Jul. 14, 2007 at 7:15 AM
We went through the same thing here, except my ex does not see out daughter at all. It was his choice to walk away from her and he has made many bad choice's in life since then. I gave Jaden pictures of her daddy and I told her the truth. It was him who walked away not her, I also told her when she was old enough to understand that when she turned 18 I would do anything I can to help her track him down so he can see what he missed out on. It is a hard thing to have to deal with for a little one. My heart goes out to the both of you. Good luck

Wendy
brymom
by on Jul. 14, 2007 at 9:18 AM
I would seriously talk to the dad about keeping a number so that your daughter knows whenever she wants her daddy she can call him and he'll be there to talk to her. He should be able to give her that. Especially if he see's how much it hurts her. My sons father and I were only together for 3 months after our son was born, so he was used to not seeing his dad everyday but his father is always reachable when he wants to talk to him. His dad is far from responsible, but he's always a call away.  Sometimes he askes for him and I tell him he can call him ( my son is 5 now ) or I remind him that he will get to see his dad soon and his dad loves him very much and so on and so on. I guess all you can do is be there. A bond the father is missing out on in the long run. It isnt fair, but its reality and you just have to do the best you can.
Alyshia
by on Jul. 14, 2007 at 11:37 PM

Quoting brymom:

I would seriously talk to the dad about keeping a number so that your daughter knows whenever she wants her daddy she can call him and he'll be there to talk to her. He should be able to give her that. Especially if he see's how much it hurts her. My sons father and I were only together for 3 months after our son was born, so he was used to not seeing his dad everyday but his father is always reachable when he wants to talk to him. His dad is far from responsible, but he's always a call away.  Sometimes he askes for him and I tell him he can call him ( my son is 5 now ) or I remind him that he will get to see his dad soon and his dad loves him very much and so on and so on. I guess all you can do is be there. A bond the father is missing out on in the long run. It isnt fair, but its reality and you just have to do the best you can.


I understand what  you are saying but her father does not pay child support, will not keep a job, phone number, and in all honosty does not care for them properly when he has them. I also do try to explane to her that her daddy is not here and that I can't every call him, because he either has a new number or he just does not want to answer. So he never gets to see how badly she is hurt and seeing her that way just kills me. He calms that he care and loves his children which I don't douht, with the love of a child, but he tries to do this stuff thinking and knowing that it hurt me in the long run, too see my kids hurting I am just at a lose and really don't know what more to do. I keep having fight in the courts and that I really have a hard time affording. " we all know how that is"! Thank you for the response and I am in a great understanding with what you are saying but at time that does not work! And it makes me feel lost.
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