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a little advice, please???

Posted by on Jul. 27, 2007 at 10:31 AM
  • 4 Replies
i just joined this group about a week ago, and don't know any of you yet, but i could really use some help!

here's the deal~~ i have been dating a guy for about 2 1/2 years, and things seemed to be going ok~ he's great with my son, and is just a genuinely nice guy. the problem i'm having is that we've been talking a little more about our "future" together, and we're not wanting the same things out of life~ at all!  

i feel that i'm young, and still have my whole life ahead of me. i haven't even finished school yet. there are so many things i want to do with my life still- move around a little, find out where i "belong", travel, and eventually, get married and have a couple more kids.

the problem is, he feels like he's already done everything he wants to do with his life, and is ready to just settle down- now- and be done with it. he's been married, and divorced, and has 2 kids, and has found his career path, and feels like that's enough. he doesn't want to move, doesn't want anymore kids, and is perfectly content with where his life is right now. i'm not. so basically, what i think is that if we stay together, one of us is going to be unhappy, because we had to make some sort of compromise that we really didn't want to make.

ok, so now that i've written you a novel, any advice that you may have to offer would be greatly appreciated!!!!!  thanks for letting me get it all out!


Lilypie 6th to 18th PicLilypie 6th to 18th Ticker
by on Jul. 27, 2007 at 10:31 AM
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Replies (1-4):
greatergood
by on Jul. 27, 2007 at 11:21 AM
Hi there,

I personally think you laid this all out really well and then when you wrote "so basically, what i think is that if we stay together, one of us is going to be unhappy, because we had to make some sort of compromise that we really didn't want to make" I thought, "well she's come to the conclusion I would've made"!! The last thing you want to do is feel that you can't be or become who you want to be because someone else is holding you back. You get one life, you seem to know how you want to live it (and therefore how you want to be a role model for your son) and I believe you should go do that.  The other big flag is if you want more kids and he doesn't .... well that's a major stress all on its own.

Good luck to you. You really do sound like you have it together.


WhatNow07
by on Jul. 27, 2007 at 11:32 AM
 It sounds to me that you know what you need to do. You have your head on right and you need to spend your time from here on out finding the right man for you. And beleive me he is out there looking for you!

WhatNow07
melissa-amy
by on Jul. 27, 2007 at 1:03 PM

Hi! I agree with these wise ladies. You know what the right thing is. Good luck!

 Melissa amy

....to the moon and back. 

beingmommy
by on Jul. 27, 2007 at 3:46 PM
I agree...you know what you need to do. So just do it! :) Easier said than done I know. But you are exactly right. If either of you "changes" your mind for the other person it will end in regret. Good luck to you and find someone who wants what you do! And maybe if you leave, he will realize that it's not a compromise if he really wants to be with you. It's part of you as a total package. he can either accept it or not! Good luck girl!
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