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What can I do?

Posted by on Aug. 3, 2007 at 10:29 PM
  • 1 Replies

It is just so frustrating. I've revolved my world around my kids. After two year, I'm slowly trying to get back out into having an adult life (dating and hanging out with peers).

My ex keeps degrading everything I do. I took my kids to the doctor on Monday, just so he could tell me - they were healthy. I've been accused of not caring for them, by my ex.

My kids do great in school. I enroll them in sports and other activities. In fact our son is in the honors program. I take them to church, almost every Sunday. I'm not going to lie and say we go every Sunday. We do miss here and there. They both took their first Communion this past Easter. I was so proud. They have a nice home, which I bought, after our divorce. They each have their own room. Friends in the neighborhood, in which they play with, go to each other's houses and occasionally spend the night here or there. My kids have a play room, bigger them my bedroom. Within reason, they get pretty much everything they want. I've sent them to a starter camp the past two summer - they loved it. They had the same prettification for the past seven years, they get medical care when needed and their shots are up to date. I work full time, the kids and I both have health insurance - I’m not on any form of government aid. I get a little less then $400 a month child support. (But my ex is not claiming both jobs that he works.)

Am I missing anything? Why would my ex still tell me that I'm being a good parent? How long, do you have to put up with being accused otherwise?

I missed three hours of work on Monday, so the doctor could document that my kids were healthy. I felt bad sitting in the waiting room - there was small child crying because his tummy hurt and I'm there with healthy kids in line ahead of him.

And there was a Mom there with five kids. The two little girl's hair wasn't combed - looked all matted. The Mom had sores all over her arms. That family, Ya I'd probably be concerned about.

Later that evening, we took some clothes up to a neighbors hoarse. I went thought the kids closets and got rid of clothes that was too small, etc. Anyhow, we were talking - she says - My daughter's legs look worse them your daughter's legs. (my daughter has mosquito bites on her legs and according to her father - I'm not taking care of her) She says: she lets her kids go outside and play, watches them through the window. I do not let my kids go outside alone. Either I'm out there or their 13 yr old sister is out there with them. Oh, they are 8 and 7..

Let's see in the past two years - I'm been accused of bugging his apartment and car, kidnapping my own daughter, taking her to the local Wal-Mart and dumping her there. My brother has been accused of keying to locks to their apartment. Letting the kids jump about six feet into a small swimming pool about three foot deep. And the stupid arguments - Like not wanting to trade weekends for my son's Boy Scout camp out, he refused to take our son to a soccer game - unless I did what he wanted me to do. I was asked to not take them swimming this summer - because that is what they did together.

He will go to the pharmacy where I have out prescription, ask them what is wrong with the kids when they are sick - instead of calling me. Yesterday, he went by the pharmacy to ask if I was filling their prescriptions.

Someone once suggested that I file for Sole Custody? He'd still have visitation but not a right to all the medical and such. Right? Do you think, I’d have a chance at sole custody, just from him not being fair in decisions and accusing me of all this stuff?

It's been two years - how much of this does someone have to take? We've gone back to court about a year ago. Ended up in six months of counseling. In the end, I was told: Attorney" there is only so much I can do legally. Counselor: He should be maturing.

He'd asked me to sign over his parental rights last year in September. So my thoughts are he's going to harasses me until I get fed up and agree to let him sign over his rights (so he won't have to pay child support) OR He'll continue to agree with me, just because as long as we argue he feels he still has my attention. What do you think?

It is just very frustrating, I'm tired of all the accusations and crap. I'll continue to do what's bests for my kids. BUT how long does someone have to put up with this?

Any insight would be great - Thanks...

by on Aug. 3, 2007 at 10:29 PM
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by on Aug. 4, 2007 at 1:34 AM
wow, he sounds like a controlling jerk.  Sorry you are having to go through this.

You are doing a wonderful job with your children.  You know that.  Don't let him make you second guess that.  You will never get his approval because that is not a part of his game.  He's doing this to intimidate you and control you.  He's being bully.

What I always say to my son when we talk about bullies is, "You can't change other people, but you can change how you  react to them".  (easier said then done, I know).  A person bullies to get power, and the more reaction you give, the more power they have.
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