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Single Moms Single Moms

Why is it so hard?

Posted by on Aug. 5, 2007 at 3:48 PM
  • 8 Replies
I have just started "dating" a guy a couple of weeks ago and everything is going just fine. Well one night we were suppose to get together and i had no sitter so i decided to take my son with me. Plus i wanted to see how they interacted with eachother.
So we got there and everything was fine. Until....my son would do something as small as standing up with food in his mouth and he would be stern with him and tell him to sit down....just things like that.
I like the fact that i have someone that can possibly disipline my son besides me but then again, since it has been such little time..am i wrong for letting him disipline my son?
by on Aug. 5, 2007 at 3:48 PM
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Replies (1-8):
amberluv29
by on Aug. 5, 2007 at 3:53 PM
I would say it is too early in the relationship for you new friend to discipline your son because you son doesn't know him very well, do you know if he is going to be around long enough to be a father figure, and your friend should be trying to gain your son's respect and trust and if starts to discipline too early you son may grow to despise him. Plus i'm an advocate for kids being kids so standing with food in his mouth is not a bad thing unless he was being obnoxious with it. Hope this makes sense
meshellyoo
by on Aug. 5, 2007 at 4:09 PM
I have to agree.  I typically don't like to bring anyone around my son for a few months, but that is my personal choice.  I want to get to know the person and make sure they are worthy of being around my son.  I do think that he should not be disciplining your son so soon.  It is hard to date as a single mother, and it is extremely hard to date someone that doesn't have children.  Hang in there. 

                          

Proud Mommy




mmama0619
by on Aug. 5, 2007 at 7:01 PM
i think it is to soon, because i did that w/ my son and my son really likes my ex and hes the only one he will really listen to, but as of today my ex isnt goin to be coming around here any more, so now im alone and i have to take care of my son my self. i wish my ex could just take me back and we could have our life like we planed
kma77
by on Aug. 5, 2007 at 7:12 PM
well for me in the past, i had to be sure of the guy before he was even let near my son, that has meant many months (around 6-9) Only 1 of my 2 ex-bf's that my son has met ever disciplined my son. and that happened way after they met. They would look to me and take my cues as how to re act. the one disciplining that happened pretty much was "don't talk to your mom like that"





if we couldn't laugh we would all go insane. ~Jimmy Buffet~
shewki
by on Aug. 5, 2007 at 7:17 PM
i was married for 12 yrs before i left an abusive husband..and was single two years because i was extremely careful about who was part of my life let alone my kids lives..very small things threw me off and i was not even going to consider it if it didnt feel right.i dated one guy  six months and my kids met him twice, my oldest daughter didnt like him.....i didnt think for much of a reason,later i found out he was married and hiding it from me.anyway i was single two yrs and now have been with my bf  a little over a yr and a half...he is here all the time..might as well live here but doesnt yet,...but hes with me every night stays overnight leaves for work and comes here after work....he has never stepped in the middle of anything with my kids and doesnt tell them what to do.....if something was happening that he needed to im sure he would but with me there....never........i wouldnt like it if he did with me there......im their mother..i expect to be the one for the most part taking care of things...i wouldnt like it in that amount of time......at all.
just my opinion =)

julesinlr
by on Aug. 5, 2007 at 10:16 PM
My feeling is that you have to be completely sure of your relationship with someone before introducing them into your children's lives. If I were you, I'd run in the other direction from this guy. If small things like that set him off he's probably not right. I would never allow anyone to discipline my child unless we had a long, serious talk about it before it occurred. Someone needs my permission to discipline my child. Just my 2 cents....
BrysonsMom721
by on Aug. 6, 2007 at 4:58 PM
Thanks everyone for all the advice! i really like to know what other people think!
faerie75
by Ruby Member on Aug. 6, 2007 at 7:23 PM
LOL u are doing better than me shewki, i left my abusive ex after 3 1/2 years  and its been ten years and i still have yet to find a good man. ive dated here and there but bottom line is im commitment phobe.

to the OP, in ten years, my kids have met ONE guy i dated. that was the ONE guy who gave me a commitment in the past ten years. a few weeks is a bit soon. give it time. i have the "one month curse" things go well for a month and then they disappear on me.

good luck and keep us posted!
Quoting shewki:

i was married for 12 yrs before i left an abusive husband..and was single two years because i was extremely careful about who was part of my life let alone my kids lives..very small things threw me off and i was not even going to consider it if it didnt feel right.i dated one guy  six months and my kids met him twice, my oldest daughter didnt like him.....i didnt think for much of a reason,later i found out he was married and hiding it from me.anyway i was single two yrs and now have been with my bf  a little over a yr and a half...he is here all the time..might as well live here but doesnt yet,...but hes with me every night stays overnight leaves for work and comes here after work....he has never stepped in the middle of anything with my kids and doesnt tell them what to do.....if something was happening that he needed to im sure he would but with me there....never........i wouldnt like it if he did with me there......im their mother..i expect to be the one for the most part taking care of things...i wouldnt like it in that amount of time......at all.
just my opinion =)



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