After we got the results of the test he and his so called wife came to see her. (they are not legally married). He came over at 11:30 at night, stayed for 15 minutes, and wouldn't even come in my house.
The next day he calls me up crying his eyes out. Says he is getting a divorce and he sorry for ruining our lives. (i love my child and my life is NOT ruined) Tells me he cant afford child support. I felt bad because i dont want to break up his marriage. I tell him we can try to work things out.
So the next day he and his "wife" call me. Offer me 100 dollars a month and he will buy all the diapers, ect. I say yes. then he goes on to tell me that his "wife" controls their bank account and I have to ask her for the money not him. Then she tells me how bad she wants a baby and she cries every time she gets her cycle. I realised he is just trying to get out of paying child support. Im sorry if you are married, living with your parents, can't pay for the kid you already have, why are you trying to have another kid.
I told him I would not make him pay the full amount, but I want to go through the atternoy general. He says no. He now offers me $200 a month for the next 18 years. I asked him what if you get a good job down the road, is it fair that I am only getting 200 a month. He says yes because he shouldn't have to give me any money he should just have to buy the nessecities for our baby. I they ask him what visitation. He says he doesn't want outlined visitation. He should be able to come get my daugher whenever he wants and some weekends he may be busy so he doesnt want to be tied down. I'm sorry, but i am not going to live the next 18 years of my life around him. He wont go to any more mediation meetings at the child support office so now the atternoy general is taking us to court. since we took the dna test, the state is making us go to court go get child support thought the state. So now i had to hire a lawyer. Oh and i forgot- he says i should take his offer of 200 a month because "afterall, he is LETTING me be the primary parent". He also is telling me his lawyer said that if it goes to court I am not getting crap for child support. and if i make him pay child support he is filling for custody. He told me that I am an unfit mother because I had medicaid for my pregnancy. sorry i didn't have insurance and wanted to give birth in a hospital. He also said it is not fair for him to pay child support because my mom helps me out. I was a full time student when I got pregnant. Right now I am supposed to be at Texas A&M, but I am at home not going to school. I work 3 nights a week as a waitress and my mother watches my baby. I have never had an office job so i doubt I would make more that 10 bucks an hour, plus daycare is expensive and i dont want to put her in day care so it works for me. He told me I need to get a better job. That he shouldn't have to pay childsupport if im only working part time. I make 300 dollars or more a week working part time, take home. His best excuse for not paying is he has to support his "wife" because she doesn't work. I have worked since the day I turned 16. I worked in a restuarant until two weeks before i gave birth and went back six weeks later. Um, I do not feel sorry for people who don't work. That is their business, I dont care if she doesn't work, but i am not going to let my child suffer because of it.
Well i haven't talked to him in 2 months. We haven't received our court date yet. My lawyer said it may take up to a year. I just feel bad because even though he is an idiot, i want my daughter to have a father and to know him. Should I call him? Or just wait till everything with the court is worked out? Honestly I would let him sign away his rights but i dont think that is fair for my child. I just dont know what to do. The main reason I am going to court is for the visitation. He wants to take her for the whole weekend, without having any supervised visits. She is almost 4 months old, and i think she is just way too young. I am just upset with the whole situation. I don't want to be with my daughters father, (well really sperm donor) but I do want her to know him. What should I do??
sorry my post is sooooo long. No one I know has been in this situation and I would just like advice from someone who has been there!