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Please dont judge me i need advice tho kinda long

Posted by on Aug. 6, 2007 at 1:44 AM
  • 5 Replies
So heres the deal and its kind of complicated but i need to hear what other ppl think. I dated this guy name patrick when i was 15 yrs old he is one of those guys you cant help but fall for its almost as if hes out of a movie or book or sumthan lol. we dated for a few months when i was 15 and than he told me he loved me and it freaked me out cuz he was my 1st boyfriend and i didnt know how to respond so i said nothing even though i really was in love with him and wanted to say it i was scared i would get hurt if i did say it. He was hurt by that and it ended things between us before we even really got sexual with each other. we both were virgins at the time. well a few months past and we lost touch intil he called me out of the blue and we started talking again but that didnt last very long before he brought up the past and we started to argue alot while homecoming was coming up and we went to different schools. he told me he wasnt going to his but if he was he wanted to take me. well i was invited to homecoming by someone else at a different school and i went. well come to find out at the last minute patrick went to his with another girl. i was so hurt becuz the only reason i went with someone else was cuz he told me he wasnt going to his. well this ended things between me and him for good and we lost touch for many years. Come to find out that night he lost his virginty.

A few yrs had past and i get a call out of the blue telling me hes getting married and he just wanted to let me know that it could have been to me but it wasnt. i was crushed but hes one of those guys who even tho i dated other guys i never really forgot about all of the good times that we had together.

time went by are lifes went on and about a yr and a half ago i had this urge to find him something just sparked in me and all these old feelings came back so i started to look for him on myspace and different find someone from your past websites. after months of no luck i finally found him on myspace and we reconnected immeditly. we started talking daily through email and the phone (he lives two hrs away from me and neither of us drive so for about a yr we just chatted and got really close never hanging up the phone or ending an email without saying I LOVE YOU. Finally in April his best friend brought him the two hrs to come and see me. he stayed the night and when he kissed me it was the best kiss ive ever had in my life. down to the tee it was the exact same moment we had shared in highschool the 1st time he kissed me. it was very special. i was in love. we slept together that night. a few weeks later he came to see me again and we slept together. that night i was going to ask him to marry me but got scared and backed out. the next morning he got arrested at my house (long story thats not important right now.) hes facing up to ten yrs in milatary prison though. i knew that when we got together though and stood by him even though he had nothing. no job, no car, no place to live he was jumping place to place different nights. When we got together patrick told me that yes he had been married but he was now 100 percent divorced and his ex wife had moved on and was now living with and dating his brother. well the day he got arrested i called his Grandmother (whose a super bitch) to tell her what had happened now she doesnt know me so i said hi this is racheal patricks g/f. she said to me your not patricks g/f patrick is married. i said what. she said hes seprated from her cuz he cheated on her but hes still legally married. i was floored he lied to me about that but it gets better hope if your reading this your sitting down. she continues to tell me not only is patrick married legally that hes engaged and lives with the girl hes engaged to and her son who hes raiused for the last yr. but it still gets better. she than tells me patrick might have three addtional women pregnant. i was freaking out at this point everything i knew about this person i loved all lies. and theres more stuff to but i wont mention it all this time around but do trust me it gets better. i was so hurt i cried for days even though hes so not worth my tears.

while a few days later 10 to be exact i slept with a good friend of mine who is someone i have slept with many times in the past including once before patrick came into the picture. His name is chris and chris is a good guy but chris has feelings for me and i dont have feelings for him in that way. well a few weeks goes by and i missed my 2nd period in a row i took a test and wouldnt you know im pregnant. i went to the dr and everything was confirmed i am as of today 15 weeks and 3 days pregnant.

the thing is im not sure who the babys dad is and although i know most of you obviously cant say forsure im just curious as to everyone opinion on this whole situation as to what i should do regaurding both guys and based on the dates i give what you think.

My last period was march 21st same day i slept with chris the 1st time but i had a full period and he didnt finish that time we slept together. i slept with patrick april 8th and than again april 21st i missed my period in april. i slept with chris the 2nd time may 1st i took the pregnancy test after missing my period at the end of may. They say im 15 weeks and 3 days and my due date is jan 25th 2008.

Both guys know im pregnant and patrick wants nothing to do with me or this baby he says even if it is his he doesnt care at all and he wont even talk to me plus his bitch that hes engaged to wont let him talk to me. chris on the other hand wants to be the dad and his family wants him to be the dad and his family loves me to death. but chris has problems to hes in jail right now and has been for the last 4 months for drug related stuff. he promises to stay clean once hes out and he wants a future with me if this baby is his or not. but the problem is i only see chris as a friend. im so confused over all of this and any advice on any part of this would be nice plz help.

i know if patrick is the dad i will most deff be a single mom. if chris is the dad he will step up but he wants me as well and idk if i can give him that. idk what to do plz help thanx Racheal
by on Aug. 6, 2007 at 1:44 AM
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Replies (1-5):
Tisha1115
by on Aug. 6, 2007 at 2:08 AM
  i'd say just stay good friends with this Chris guy, if you don't love him that way don't force it. The only thing that would do is cause hurt feelings. If he is the biodad make sure he's clean befroe you allow him around without supervision around.

  All i can say is wow, sounds like your in a stressful mess right now! I've been in some bad situatuations though, and none of them pretty. You'll make it through this!

   As far as patrick's concerned, if he doesn't want to be a dad and he turns out to be the sperm donor. Sue for child support no matter what he says to dissuade you. He sounds like a jerk and you will be better of without him.
about2beamommy
by on Aug. 6, 2007 at 2:12 AM

Quoting Tisha1115:

  i'd say just stay good friends with this Chris guy, if you don't love him that way don't force it. The only thing that would do is cause hurt feelings. If he is the biodad make sure he's clean befroe you allow him around without supervision around.

  All i can say is wow, sounds like your in a stressful mess right now! I've been in some bad situatuations though, and none of them pretty. You'll make it through this!

   As far as patrick's concerned, if he doesn't want to be a dad and he turns out to be the sperm donor. Sue for child support no matter what he says to dissuade you. He sounds like a jerk and you will be better of without him.


thanx for the advice due to ptraicks leagal situation with the army though he is unable to get a job he is on the run right now and when hes found looking at a possible 10 yrs prison time so i cant get jack shit from him.
Tisha1115
by on Aug. 6, 2007 at 2:23 AM
  Sound slike a lot of trouble is waiting for him. They'll catch him and when they do he'll get what's coming. Do you know how to reach his SO (superior officer)? If you do and the other guy's not the dad call and let him know you've been trying to reach him for a DNA test. They probably can't give out any information on him, but they might help you out.

  I know a lot of woman try to "trap" men in the militart, but you don't sound like one. heck, maybe him splitting on a prego girlfreind will get him in even more trouble.

  I'd still get a lawyer, if you can, and ask what you can do in this case.

  I'll check on this post later. I'm at work right now and don't really want to get in trouble being on here for to long. Keep me posted as to how things turn out.
about2beamommy
by on Aug. 6, 2007 at 2:25 AM

Quoting Tisha1115:

  Sound slike a lot of trouble is waiting for him. They'll catch him and when they do he'll get what's coming. Do you know how to reach his SO (superior officer)? If you do and the other guy's not the dad call and let him know you've been trying to reach him for a DNA test. They probably can't give out any information on him, but they might help you out.

  I know a lot of woman try to "trap" men in the militart, but you don't sound like one. heck, maybe him splitting on a prego girlfreind will get him in even more trouble.

  I'd still get a lawyer, if you can, and ask what you can do in this case.

  I'll check on this post later. I'm at work right now and don't really want to get in trouble being on here for to long. Keep me posted as to how things turn out.


i dont have his info i will keep u posted for sure tho as things progress enjoy work have a good night xoxo
diversemom
by on Aug. 6, 2007 at 12:36 PM
My heart goes out to you.  If the baby is Chris' it doesn't mean you have to marry and live with him and all that entails.  Don't ever get married or live with someone just because you have a child with them.  Many times it turns out to not be good for your child or you. 

Stay strong and right now concentrate on your pregnancy, your little one needs you to be welll physically and mentally.  I know it's hard but try all your might.

Also congrats on being pregnant!!
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