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New..does anyone relate???

Posted by on Aug. 6, 2007 at 3:29 AM
  • 4 Replies
Hi, Im new to this group..well to cafemom all together actually.
Anyways  heres my story.
Im 19 years old and i had a boyfriend, we had known eachother for a little more than 6 months when we finally went out on a date for the first time. Let me make it completely clear we were actually together as boyfriend and girlfriend then, and we had slept together that night. It was the first and only time we had been together. And the first time in almost a year that i had been with anyone. Well that night we both made some bad choices and the sex was unprotected and i got pregnant. When i told him i was pregnant he broke up with me and i didnt hear from him for about 2 months. He finally came back around after a bunch of crazy things happened in his life. We made a lot of plans to live together and to raise the baby, he even mentioned a wedding a couple times. Well out of nowhere he made up this story about us having a paternity test and them telling him hes not the father. Come to find out for i dont even know how long he was seeing me and some other woman at the same time. Now i havent heard from him in a month and he denys his baby. Im planning my life, moving to Iowa to make something good for my baby and plan on taking him to court for child support and what not. Im just overwhelmed with all of these emtions being 20 weeks pregnant and all alone. I was just wondering if theres anyone out there who can relate to this and who would like to just talk with me, become a "friend" of some sort. let me know
by on Aug. 6, 2007 at 3:29 AM
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Replies (1-4):
eptmommy
by on Aug. 6, 2007 at 3:42 AM
I am sorry to hear what u are going through. My ex left me too when I was 4 months pregnant & he came & went too as recently as this past week. U need to remember it's no longer about u & him it's about what u 2 created. It's hard & even worse when u find out there is someone else (that seems to be the worse pain) but u need to move foward & remember that baby isn't a life sentence it's the beginning to a whole new world filled with many ups & downs but more important it's filled with unconditional love. Good Luck I'm here if u ever want to talk.

Jackie         



pattys518
by on Aug. 6, 2007 at 7:48 AM

hONEY, YOU NEED TO JUST MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE FOR YOU AND YOUR BABY. HE DOES NOT SOUND GOOD ENOUGH TO BE IN BOTH YOUR LIFE AND YOUR UNBORN BABY'S LIFE. MAKE YOUR MOVE FOR YOURSELF AND THE BABY. BUT I WOULD MAKE SURE THAT YOU DO TAKE HIM FOR CHILD SUPPORT. HE DID MAKE THE BABY WITH YOU.
GOOD LUCK TO YOU. I AM HERE IF YOU NEED A FRIEND.   

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mae77
by on Aug. 6, 2007 at 10:15 AM
Honey, I know all to well what you're going through.  I was married (still am) to my son's father and I packed his stuff a few days before christmas 2005.  I was 2 months preggos.  He was cheating and not coming home and I made him choose.  So he left.  I was 28 at the time so I have a small advantage, but this was my first baby and first marriage.  Honey, only time and personal strength will get you through this time.  You have to find strength in knowing...knowing that the baby is his, even though he doesn't deserve a miracle and knowing that you can make it through.  I know, I know that these are just words but simewhere down the line you will have to lean on these words. And eventually you will find all your strength in them. 

I don't know what your religious stance is but God brought me through.  He did  and my son growing inside me also gave me the motivation to push on.  And them one day you will be at the hospital by yourself holding your miralce and it will be sad because his or her father isn't there.  But you shouldn't because it's his loss. 

Honey you need to do what you need to do to get ready for YOUR baby.  Stock up on diapers in N, 1, and 2 and wipes when you find them on sale and with coupons. Sign up for everything: Huggies, pampers, all brands of formula online.  They will send you sample and coupons.  Get a membership at sams if you can for diapers and wipes (if there's one near you)  Buying from there for diapers is cost effective until size 4.  Prepare to be a single mom from here on out so if he shows up and wants to act like a man for a brief moment you'll be fine b4 and after he disappears. 

Me and my son's father are on speaking terms (my son is 13 months) he gave me a whopping $40  this weekend and has bought 1 case of diapers from a neighborhood crack head for $15.  But I'm keep the lines of communication open for my son, so I can tell him when he's older that I did all I could to keep his father in his life.

I Know it hurts but one day it won't anymore.  I hope this helps!


Xavier's Mommy -Akesha

Tara922c
by on Aug. 6, 2007 at 12:13 PM
The best thing to do is just focus on you and your baby! I got the whole "there is no way I can be the dad" speech too. I went through my whole pregnancy alone. I didn't contact my child's father until she was born. I gave him his dna test. Of course it was  positive, and he still doesnt come around. Just don't stress about it. You know that he is the Dad. Don't let him get to you!
     
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