Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

18, deadbeat military dad.

Posted by on Aug. 20, 2007 at 12:22 AM
  • 5 Replies
Hi, I just want to know how yall cope with deadbeat dads? Any advice?
by on Aug. 20, 2007 at 12:22 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-5):
by on Aug. 20, 2007 at 12:23 AM
Collect child support..;)
by on Aug. 20, 2007 at 12:44 AM
Honey, I'm dealing with 2 of them...  It's not easy, but my advice to you is to take it one day at a time...  Get what u can out of them ( I know that sounds harsh, but its true)...  And hope that one day they will straighten their asses up!  Always keep in mind though, that it is them who is missing out and not your child! 
by on Aug. 20, 2007 at 12:51 AM
Well, unfortunately you can't force a man to be a dad. But the good news is that yours is military! You will never have to worry about CS. not to mention your child will have good insurance. He will have to do what is right as far as that goes or he will pay a price with the military as well as a civilian court of law. Now that being said, having a baby with a military guy is hard. I know from personal experience. The older I have gotten ( I was 20 when I married him and I'm 31 now) the more I realize that his job is very demanding and he can't always abide by his visitation. So what I used to consider deadbeat behavior isn't always what it seems. If he really is just a deadbeat, all you can do is have faith in yourself and do the best you can for your baby. It's never easy to do it alone and it certainly isn't fair. It never will be. The best thing you can do for yourself and your child is to let go of the anger and frustration. And that just takes time. But take it from me, when you do that, things will get better and you will feel better!  
by on Aug. 20, 2007 at 11:42 PM
I was told by PFC Deadbeat that if I didnt give my son up for adoption that he would fight me for custody. Before he left for basic I told him that I might be preggers and he told me to give it up or get rid of it (abortion) and thats when I realized I got screwed (no pun intended). This guy that I thought was so sweet was willing to cause all sorts of drama just becuase I wasnt willing to play by his rules. I wish I could bring myself to fight him for CS but I just dont want his crap in my now I'm coming down to some really tough decesions.
by on Aug. 21, 2007 at 12:34 PM
Well speaking of which....I was having a really bad day yesterday with my daughter....she is 2 1/2. Her "sperm donor" hasnt been around since I was 3 months prego and I said the same thing u did....Im not going after him cause I dont want his crap nor do I want to share my child with a person like that. BUT....I have come to realize that they laid in the bed with us, then knocked us up and now they dont have to pay for it like we do. I am starting to look for lawyers so I can find out my options. I dont feel its fair for him to continue to make babies around the countryside and not have any reprecussions. Too many women just let it go.....its not fair to us to have to do it alone. I say get yourself together and start lookin for lawyers or go to your local Welfare office and they can help as well.
It is very hard.....but we are women and we were made strong!!! You can do it, keep your head up! It will get better!!!

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN