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The Whole Story.....added to My Ex's Wife.....Please Read

Posted by on Aug. 20, 2007 at 9:32 AM
  • 4 Replies

My name is Erin, I'm a 25 single mommy of twin two year old boys. This is my story and it is the as detailed as I can get it (while ranting) and adds to the "My EX's New Wife" that I posted last week. Please read and help me figure out what to do????

My ex-husband, Ronnie,  left me when they were only two weeks old for another woman, Tasha, who happened to just turn 18, and hasn't had a thing to do with them in over 2 years.

Monday, he called for the first time in 2 years. When I asked him what he wanted he said "I don't know". Now you have to understand that this little 18 year old not only thinks he "hung the moon", but that she's going to be my children's new "mommy". She can't have any kids of her own.....from what I hear they have been trying to get pregnant, but she has miscarriages (karma??) She knew we were married and had two babies on the way.....and still slept with my husband anyway before the kids were born. I have chalked it up to they not only deserve eachother but they're going to get what they deserve in the end.

I told him that I was no longer an angry ex-wife but an angry mommy. We haven't so much as heard a peep from him, no child support, nothing. I told him the boys were fine and happy and they didn't need to hear from his stupid butt. I told him he was nothing more than a deadbeat screwup and he needed to leave us alone. His reply was that he wanted to see the boys and take them from me. I know that he can't do that, so I just laughed at him. I told him to expect a restraining order and a court order to stay away from them until they were 18 years old.

 He gets to live anyway he wants, do whatever he pleases and get away with absolute murder. Everyone that hears about my situation says to take him back to court and get my child support. But they don't rely on his money or him for a thing. It's always been me. I know there are alot of other single moms in this world dealing with the same bs. But this is borderline ridiculous. I forgave him for what he did to me.....but I can't for what he did to the boys.

The thing that gets me is that his wife gets on the phone and cusses me out. If I were her I wouldn't want to even be in the middle of it. I wouldn't want to piss off the "ex wife" for the sake of my husband, ya know??? Given the fact that she's only 20, I guess I have to chalk that up to immaturity. I haven't so much as seen this woman in person and she's going to sit there and cuss me out for taking care of my children and not bothering a soul.

I just want him to go away. I hope he regrets hurting the boys. One day this will all come back to bite him on his hind end. Why can't he understand that I just want him to stay gone????

by on Aug. 20, 2007 at 9:32 AM
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by on Aug. 20, 2007 at 10:41 AM

        Hi, my name is Michelle.  I know exactly what you are going through.  I'm in the same situation, but we were'nt married and I left him.  Because he wanted nothing to do with my son.  While we were together, he drove a truck.  When he came in on the weekends, he went off to various buddies homes and stayed gone til Sunday when it was time to leave again.After I left him 4 years ago, he took me to court and they ordered me to give him visitation and take child support.  Well, I never saw a bit of support and my son refused to visit with him.  Now 3 years later he's taking me back to court and the judge is ordering my 6 year old son to go with him on weekends.  He doesn't even know him and is terrified.  So far I'm in contempt for not following judges orders.  I say they can kiss my ass.   have since moved out of state and am being ordered to appear again this month.  I wish he would just go away and stay gone.I love my son and know whats best for him, and I almost forgot to mention, he's had all kinds of drug charges against him and this doesn't seem to faze the courts in the least bit.  It's bull shit!!!

     I'm so sorry that you are going through this, it's rough and I hope your outcome is a lot better than mine!!!  Hang in there.  My thoughts are with you!!

by on Aug. 20, 2007 at 11:04 AM
Michelle, if it was me.....I would have killed my ex. NO killing isn't the answer. Do you have a lawyer??? IF he has drug charges you shouldn't have to let your son around him? Being in contempt of court will not help you in the long run......but if a man can run and not have to pay why should the momma who has taken care of the baby and loved and paid for that baby have to give him an easy access to that baby??? I just don't understand the system. I'm so sorry you're dealing with a man like that......all the men talked about in here are sorry. I have given up on love and all of that.....I just don't think that it exisists anymore. Men absoulutely suck and then when you try to do the best for your kids and do what a judge told you to do.......and they haven't done jack shit for them.....they can force you to let them see them because they donated some sperm and then grew a conscious after the fact. AHHHHHH I'm ranting's always going to be a battle with him. But it's a fight that I can't lose because letting him see them to me would be letting him win. Taking money from him now would be defeating the purpose of me working so hard to support them....they don't even depend on his's a constant battle against him and he doesn't have to do anything for them. It's so frustrating. IF I could I would run and never tell him where I was either......I could do it now without anyone finding me. He hasn't had anything to do with them in 2 years and now that his wife can't have kids they want to use mine as surrogate children.....I say hell no.

YOu're in my thoughts too!
by on Aug. 20, 2007 at 8:38 PM
Hi Erin!

            In response to your reply to my reply to your post (LOL), yes I hired the best and most expensive attorney I could find.  He's done all he can to help me, I think.  I've spent close to 7,000 keeping him away over the last 4 years.  It was worth every penny.  Meanwhile he's been through three attorneys who either gave up or he fired them.  This guy is a real charmer, the judge sympathises with his plight.  I'm trying to get a change of venue to the state I now live in, but the former state will not relinquish jurisdiction over my case.  It sucks!  And as for you ranting...RANT AWAY!!!  If you didn't, you would go crazy!  I'm all for fathers rights; if they are good dads, but when it comes to cases like ours...these guys should be taken out and shot!  After all the dirty diapers and sleepless nights when they were never there and now they want to step in? HA! Screw that lol! 

        So, do your ex-in-laws have anything to say about it?  Do they see the kids.  My ex's mother showed up to see my son when he was 9 months old and that was it and she just lived 6 miles away.  His father and step mother have visited my new home like two years ago to bring my son xmas presents and acted like they wanted to get to know him, but we haven't seen or heard from them since. Some son is better off w/o them. 

          I moved into a gated community to get away from him and somehow he broke into my home last November and left xmas presents for my son w/ my neighbors lol  They were  junk.  And the stuff that was cool were for children ages 14 and up lol.  Last I son is 6, 5 at that time...duh, get a clue.

             If you ever need anyone to talk to or just rant, I'm here!!  I know exactly how you feel.

by on Aug. 21, 2007 at 10:56 AM
NO  the ex in laws haven't had anything to do with my sons. His mother threw out something about grandparent's rights but to date she hasn't done a thing. I would just like to go on record as being an angry mother to them. I have done for my children, been up with them at 3 in the morning (both of them, when one gets sick the other one is sure to follow shortly), fed them, bathed them, clothed them, worked 2 jobs when I wanted to stay home, gone through a horrible depression, taken my anger out on "nice guys" because of what my ex and his new wife have put me through. But in the end I had to realize something......

I am a momma. My children love me with all my faults, all my bad, all my good, they look to me to fix the boo boos, when they're scared they want me to hold them. I hold all of their "firsts" all of the memories and their futures.  My ex and his parents can't ever hold them for the first time after they took their first step, they will never know what it felt like to hear them talk for the first time, they missed out on the boys trying new foods and spitting them out. They will never know what it was like to watch them eat their first birthday cake and they will never know what it was like to watch them in amazment everyday knowing that these little men I'm raising are the most wonderful gift in my world.

So I hold all of those memories and I will not let them have a moment of them. Being angry at him for what he did to me won't solve anything. I have "forgave" him for that.....but I won't forgive him for what he did to my children. But in the end all the lying, all the stirring up shit, all the crap they put me through, will come back on them. When they are sitting looking up at the men I raised, they will regret it. Because one day my ex will need them, and hell fire come burn him up before I get him for it.....because they won't even know his name until they ask me.

Truth be known I hate him.....for cheating on me for the 4 months I was on bedrest, for holding over my head the fact that I couldn't have sex with him because I was worried about losing the boys while I was pregnant, for being a complete bitch when I was pregnant and sick and in the hospital 28 times throwing up. But my sons will always know that I have done everything to make them healthy and happy from the moment I knew I was pregnant with them. I will not waste another minute trying to explain that to my ex.....he'll never get it.

Sorry so long I am such an angry mother. I have been put through the ringer and I just want some peace for me and my kids.

I hope your ex gets what he deserves. He sounds like he needs to be taken out and shot! All of the men described in here sound like they're all in the same boat. Hope to hear from you soon! Sorry this was sooooo loooooong. I didn't realize I had so much to say
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