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What would yall do?

Posted by on Aug. 20, 2007 at 4:42 PM
  • 5 Replies

 

Poll

Question: Should I Contact the Father

Options:

No Don't Fix what isn't broken

Yes it isn't fair to leave him out


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Total Votes: 19

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OKay I will do alittle background and then I'll get to my question... I am 19 and I got pregnant from A one night stand with A guy that I know I don't know how to explain how well I knew him but He is a year older than me one of his brothers is my age and we dated like freshman year of high school. So i know him but not on a personal level Anyway WE got drunk slept together and I was pregnant He has four other childern with 2 other girls 3 with one girl and 1 with the other. I didn't find out that i was pregnant untill I was a little over 5 months along and by that time I had graduated high school and moved out of town. I didn't really know how to find the father (Ryan) he had gone back to one of the other girls and so i decided not to contact him at all and just do it on my own . Well my son was born perfect in every way!! Well through some friends he had heard about the baby and started tell ing people that there was no way that he was his! OKay now to my question... One of my friends is now suggesting that I should tell the father and talk to him. That it isn't fair to him But he isn't taking care of the other child that he doesn;t live with so why would my son be any different??? So my question am I wrong to not talk to the father? And my friend also says that I should let my son hagn out with his "brother" the one he isn't living with becuase it isn;t fair to them not to get to grow up together but that is wierd to me since there dad claims him but not my son?? So this all might be confusing but any advise would be helpfull and any question just ask!! Thanks !
by on Aug. 20, 2007 at 4:42 PM
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Replies (1-5):
princessminnie8
by on Aug. 20, 2007 at 8:08 PM
you should definitely give your son the chance to know his father. he is the father and you cant change that. if he wants to be involved you should let him. i wouldnt expect child support bc like u said he doesnt take care of his other children. and your son should know his half siblings if at all possible. point is no matter what happens, when your child is old enough and asks about his father and siblings u will be able to say you tried. and if your son decides to ask his father later in life why he wasnt there it wont be bc of you and he will have to explain his self. good luck!

Minnie

taramichelle
by on Aug. 20, 2007 at 8:13 PM
I say at least tell him and feel out his reaction, if he wants to be involved then great if not then forget him, get your child support and let it be. I definitely think he needs to think twice before having sex again if he already has 4 and one more on the way..he needs to grow up when it comes to that! I wish you the best and good luck! I know its confusing..my baby's dad is a psycho and I have an order  against him but he has another daughter out there and I wish I knew how to get a hold of the mom to let her know her daughter has a half sister on the way but its a difficult situation! keep your head up and stay around people who are supportive!
Blessed2Bmum
by on Aug. 20, 2007 at 8:14 PM

Hello Heather1206,
     I would suggest you let him know. That way you tried to get the father to be in the sons life. Either way you should file for child support. Even if he doesnt pay it will add up and be on his record. I believe that the father(s) need to know that it is not so easy just to go and make babies everywhere, they come with responsibiltiies. Even though you may not need the money now, your child could use whatever money you can get. Just remember that once you file he has every right to that child later. But if he has never been a part of the child's life it counts against him. I think a big part of responsibility comes in when telling somebody else that they have a kid. Think if you don't how many times he may continue making babies.

lovemykids0903
by on Aug. 20, 2007 at 8:42 PM
I think you should tell him.  I also think that you need to apply for child support.  I know it is a very difficult situation to be in but for your child's sake I would want to know that you tried to have his father involved in his life.  Also, when he asks about his dad when he is old enough to be told, you can tell him you did try to have him be a part of his life.  I would hope the father would be a responsible person and try to be part of his life but if not you deserve to be receiving child support and any other assistance available.  Above all follow your heart and try to do what you feel is best for your child and no one can fault you for doing what you think is best.
kma77
by on Aug. 21, 2007 at 5:06 PM
ok..wow....that was almost like reading my own biography....
my thoughts on this are as follows....you know how he is with his other children already. do you really want to bring that into your son's life? you could take him to court and for legal reasons force the paternity and file for the child support.

my reason's for not pursuing all that. i knew what kind of father he was to his daughter before i got pregnant, i knew he didn't want to be nor could he be a good father to my son. i also knew that if i forced the paternity and child support that
#1: that would give him legal rights to my son
#2:he is a fairweather father (and i knew my son deserved better)
#3:there were things that he was involved in that i never wanted my son exposed to unnecesarily.

this is a choice you have to decide for both you and your son.

if we couldn't laugh we would all go insane. ~Jimmy Buffet~
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