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OMG!! WTF?!?! .....(may be long, sorry)

Posted by on Aug. 20, 2007 at 10:55 PM
  • 9 Replies

 

Poll

Question: Should I let him off the hook?

Options:

Yes, just let him go

No, he is legaly responsible

Not sure


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 12

View Results

Hey there ladies. I just want to say I appreciate any advice you can give me, I am a single mom to a two year old little boy. I get $74/wk Child Support. The sperm doner hasn't been around since b4 my son was even here. Not at all w/my pregnancy, no doc visits, no ultra sounds. He did show up to the birth, (I believe it was to get out of work) but left to be with his now wife shortly later. My son was in the NICU for 19 days, he never bothered to show up. He did show up the Sat. after court for 4 hours when Owen was 6 months old. Hasn't been back since. , Well, to get to my question, I am going to try to get him to sign away his rights, (he is willing to do it voluntarly), but the state of WI says that I need to have someone legally adopt Owen, b/c every child needs to have a mom and dad. So, I see a lawyer on Thurs.,but I think it's going to cost lots of money to take him back to court and to try to find a male to legally adopt him will be hard. From my dads understanding, a married couple could adopt him, (for example, my mom and dad), but then Owens birth certificate would say that my mom and dad are his parents. I know, f*cked up hu? SO, my question to you ladies is, do you think I should just go with it, and have him sign away his rights, or do you think that I should just let him be knowing that he will not come into Owens life, (from his word, but I am not sure I can believe it, but considering the fact he hasn't been around since....)and get my Child support for the next 16 years? And start a college fund for Owen? Any advice would be greatly appreciated!! Thanks!!

Lilypie Baby Ticker

by on Aug. 20, 2007 at 10:55 PM
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Replies (1-9):
manders018
by on Aug. 20, 2007 at 11:06 PM
I didn't know that someone had to adopt the baby in order for the father's rights to be terminated. I would do some more research into that before giving up on the idea. Talk to your lawyer and for now take the cash I suppose is all the advice I can give you. Good Luck!
sharebear005
by on Aug. 20, 2007 at 11:11 PM

I think that you should just leave it be. If you let another couple adopt him im afraid that you would give up your rights to him too. I think that you should talk to your lawyer.

Mommytobeaga339
by on Aug. 20, 2007 at 11:18 PM
I think he is legally responsible, that is the least thing he can do for his son. Don't let him get away that easy that is your little boys money.  You have a great idea of putting it in bank for you little boy. Men this days seem to be more irresponsible and cowards. Don't let him off that easy.
OmsYankeeMama
by on Aug. 20, 2007 at 11:30 PM
Make that man take responsibility for your child. If you want him to give up rights I can understand that, I wish I could get my sons SD to do it but no luck. Idaho is tricky. Anyway, you dont want just anyone any man legally adopting your son because then if that person is an ass he can take you to court and fight YOU for custody etc becuase he is legally your lil boys father. Until you meet Mr Wonderful that will really be good to you adn your baby I say make your sons SD be responsible.
2rugrats
by on Aug. 20, 2007 at 11:54 PM

i think seeing a lawyer is a great idea. i have never in my life heard of having to have another man adopt your child before the biological father signs away his rights. now as far as that goes. you need to be sure that thats what you really want to do.  when he signs away his rights you also lose the right to take child support or medical from him. this is a permanent decision. so be sure it is truley what you want to do.

jamie54911
by on Aug. 20, 2007 at 11:58 PM
Hey, I don't get any assistance, health insurance from him, I get it from the state, and the only reason I am really doing this is b/c I want a stable father, not a wishy-washy one, and if I ever want to move out of WI, if he still has rights, it would techinacelly be kidnapping, and they could arrest me, b/c he has right he just choses not to use them.

Lilypie Baby Ticker

munchkinsmom07
by on Aug. 21, 2007 at 12:06 AM
i know what u mean, wisconsinis kinda messed up. the reason they say that if the bio father wants to sign his rights over then someone has to adopt is bc someone other then u has to take care of that child. im fm wisconsin as well i looked into it too. the sd keeps making slurs about me and how i raise my son and says im unfit, my son has a roof over his head, food in his belly, clothes on his back, ppl that love him and play with him all day....so he threated to kidnap him. the child support agency said he was a big risk and that they wont go after him for support. so i talk to sd mother and found out she has legal gardian ship of his daughter. so talk to ur lawyer about if he wants to give up his rights if they could do a gardian ship or u can do it so say u want ur mother to have rights she gets them if granted gardian ship. make since???? talk to ur attorney about it or go up to the law library up town and talk to the big lady behind the desk she can help u.
chel1023
by on Aug. 21, 2007 at 9:35 AM
I wish I knew what to tell you.  I'm struggling with the same question.  My daughter's father has never seen her, doesn't even know when she was born or even her name.  Although I kind of like it that way.  I left him for good a week before she was born.  When I was 6 months pregnant with her he attacked me and I ended up at the hospital, luckily nothing was wrong and I moved back into my folk's home.  We tried to work things out, I know stupid on my end, but he is the father and she was my first.  It obviously didn't work, we got into a fight and he threatened to kill me if I left again.  I calmed him down and got the hell out.  I've gotten a few calls from him, but never answered and I haven't heard from him in almost three months.  He is not on the birth certificate and i don't receive any child support from him.  But he is still the father, and I really want him to give up any rights, but I'm afraid that if I try it will just motivate him to go after visitation, and I don't want that.  So I'm just waiting.  It is possible that I could find the "one" guy out there for me, although I'm happy being single right now and I figured if I ever get married then I'll cross that bridge when i get there, and at least I wouldn't be alone trying to fight against a man (or should I say boy) that is psychotic!  I hope things work out for you. 
nbmommy05
by on Aug. 21, 2007 at 9:49 AM
Honey, don't you dare sign your rights away to anyone. If he's not fighting you for the baby and "his rights" then don't worry about it. I think you're being mislead, I have never heard about anyone having to sign their rights away because a baby needs a mom and dad. What is this the "50s" no, more than half of the children in the US don't have both parents and that's not voluntarily either.

I mean think about it, how many single moms are in the world and don't have to sign their rights away????? I would kill anyone who tried to get me to sign my rights off of my children because they need a mom and a dad. Screw that hun, get another lawyer and tell them under no circumstance you will not sign your rights off of your child. You may not think it now but it might be your parents wanting you to do this???

You are his mother......do not sign your rights away. Keep me posted on what you decide.....
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