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Jealousy.....

Posted by on Aug. 21, 2007 at 11:57 AM
  • 4 Replies
My df and i are both jealous people.  I had a problm with a girl that he was friends with when we started dating.  I know her because I graduated with her.  Well we told each other that if someone of the opposite sex called us or whatever we would let the other person know  ( just a jeously thing )  But everytime I asked him if he had talked to her lately it was always.. OH YEAH.. he had talked to her that day...  Which made me upset because he never came out and told me.. i had to ask. He eventually understood why I got so upset and he stopped talking to her. I have a tendency to give up my guy friends when i get in a relationship because i know it can cause problems and i don't have any real close guy friends anyway.  Well we split up last thursday but we have been talking ever since, trying to work things out.  Well I ended up going out of town this past weekend to see family and didn't get back until late sunday night. So i went over to our apartment last night to get my stuff.  Well while he was taking a shower, curiosity got the best of me and I looked in his phone.  And lo and behold, there is her number and he had called her and saved her back in his phone.  I was so upset I went in the bathroom and opened the shower curtain and asked him wtf??  and i got a smartass tone in my voice and told him it didn't take him long to go to her.   He got out of the shower and said that he had just needed someone to talk to and so he called her.  Instead of calling any of his guy friends.  So I asked why he would call someone that he hadn't talked to in 5 months to talk about me and him, let alone someone he knew i would get upset about.  He has one other friend that is a girl that i would have rather him called then her.  He said he only talked to her for like 30 minutes and he never saw her. he just talked to her on the phone.  it caused another huge fight between us and i asked him, to look me in the eyes and tell me that he was going to tell me that he talked to her and he said no he wasn't going to.  This coming from a man who is supposedly all about honesty and can't stand liars.  My stomach is just sick because I never thought he would do something like that, especially since we are still trying to work out our problems.

Someone please give me some advice......


God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.


by on Aug. 21, 2007 at 11:57 AM
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Replies (1-4):
Kidz_n_Dogz
by on Aug. 21, 2007 at 12:07 PM
Personally, I don't understand jealousy.  I think it represents a lack of trust in a relationship.  Setting up limits on who someone can or can not talk to is ridiculous.  Either you trust your partner or you don't, and if you don't then you need to look at where the mistrust comes from.  If you tell your partner that he can't talk to someone and he does, that sets it up for him to lie, especially if he knows you will go off on him if you do.  And you shouldn't have to choose your friends based on gender.

Maybe look into getting some couples counseling.
shasta1605
by on Aug. 21, 2007 at 12:10 PM
jealousy absolutely destroys relationships. you have to be able to trust each other and let each other have their own lives with their own friends.  you should never give up your friends and he should never give up his as long as they do not ever do anything to interfere with your relationship. you need to get over it.
sosojenn
by on Aug. 21, 2007 at 1:08 PM
There is no love without trust.
So why are you with him?
If you don't trust him, you don't love him.
Plain and simple.
Get off it and stop making yourself look so desperate.
I'm sure he's laughing in his head.






 

mama25htx
by on Aug. 21, 2007 at 1:44 PM
ALL I CAN SAY IS YOUR MAN IS BEING TO SNEAKY, MEN CAN BE DOGS SO BE CAREFUL AND DON'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING HE SAYS AND SHE SAYS , THEY HAD TO HAD SOMETHNG TO HOLD ON TOO STILL, CAUSE WHY DOES HE WANT TO TALK TO HER AND NOT YOU , SHE IS OBVISOULY SOMEONE HE CAN'T AND WONT STOP TALKING TOO  . JUST THINK TWICE ALWAYS BE A STEP AHEAD!
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