But even when we were, it wasnt like it should have been... ever! --But thats a whole nother issue...
Anyways. Saturday night I went out to a club with a friend of mine. Now, we arent the partying type -we just try to get cute and have a few drinks and dance a little... Well with all I have been going through lately and feeling so stressed out, I REALLY wanted to just get plastered and have fun. OK -so i didnt get plastered, lol... but i did get tipsy. But it was an enjoyable time --and we met a couple of fun guys who were entertaining while we were there and dancing buddies. Now-I have always been the 'good girl' but on Sat I just wanted so to be BAD!!! lol -isnt that crazy?!!??
I did one thing bad that I am ashamed of... and would never normally do... but it was nothing HORRIBLE. But i had a good time and I would say the best time in like some months... Crazy huh!????
So here's the thing --I know that I have been depressed alot lately and on the extremes of the emotional scales on all parts... But, Im actually kind of thinking about things more now and realizing a whole lot.
I guess, today this guy at work made a comment and it registered to me that I wasnt happy before -bc he said "U always seemed bitter and since you and him arent together anymore, you are more happier and friendlier" --That TOTALLY blew me away. But when i got to thinking about it... it is so true.
I was so caught up in everything else and my relationship that I have TOTALLY LOST... 'ME' --Does that make any sense?
I am a fun person who is outgoing and likes to joke around... thing is that with BD i could never be that person, so i just started to push her to the back and was, am, very different.
Here's the thing -or the just of it that I wanted to know if others have an opinion for me or have been in the same boat -Have you ever felt like you lost YOU in the midst of working so hard to make it work with someone?? And if so, how did you find YOU again?
I think my mistake on Sat night made me realize boundaries on both the single and relationship side, and then the guy's comment today made me realize that I need to find ME...
But how do i do this? I mean, on sat i think i was more ME than i have been in a long while -just with the influence of drinks got carried away... lol.
But i also thought about it and realized --I like the REAL 'ME' and the HAPPY 'ME' :-)
I know this sounds confusing huh?? lol.
And dont think im a party person --bc i am at home ALL the time... and my Baby Boy was with his daddy that night...
Adivce???? Suggestions?? Comments????