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Photograph question

Posted by on Aug. 22, 2007 at 12:50 PM
  • 10 Replies
So I have a question. My ex doesnt pay child support and he never comes to visit his son. He is the one who chose to walk away from us and moved out. He chose his dog, and his parents over his son.... fine whatever I don't care about that but my question is every once in a while he will ask for a picture.... He never asks how the baby is or if he needs anything and has only seen the baby 1 time in the last three months.  I wouldn't mind sending him photographs if he was part of the baby's life but the only reason he wants the picture is to show off that he is a dad without any responsibility and I am holding the baby hostage( Which I am not doing in any way.... see above where he chose to walk out on us.) I feel  him getting my photographs is an invasion of my privacy. I wouldn't ask him for photographs..... Ugg he pisses me off ..... What do you think?
by on Aug. 22, 2007 at 12:50 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Nika715
by on Aug. 22, 2007 at 12:59 PM
I believe your childs father is trying to reap the joys of having a child while not monetarily support him.  Men or should I say the opposite sex has a way of not knowing how to deal with situations that dont work out how they expect them to.  So they dont deal; period.  In my opinion I wouldnt send him a picture when he wants it.  I would do it based on when I want to do it.  See the ball is in your court.  You take control of the situation.  You guys may not be together but you dont stop your responsibility.
xxm0mm130f0n3xx
by on Aug. 22, 2007 at 1:00 PM

I wouldn't give him photos if I were in your shoes. I'd be like you want photos of YOUR child, you come take some! But I've been a !@#$% to my ex about anything to do with our child. LOL

 

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Jennifer_Haylee
by on Aug. 22, 2007 at 1:06 PM
I wouldn't send him any pictures unless he wanted to finally step up to the plate. I don't think you should give him the satisfaction of being a dad. He apparently doesn't care about the child that both of you created.  If he wants any pictures tell him to come and take care of his child and that way he can make his own pictures.
22singlemom
by on Aug. 22, 2007 at 1:26 PM
I am sooo glad that someone else is feeling the same way I am about something like this!!  My parents rolled their eyes at me and told me I was crazy when I didn't want to let him have a picture of her.

I say you have every right to deny him a picture.  As I am denying mine a picture.  Why should he be able to show off the fact that he's a deadbeat and play it off like he's the best father ever for carrying a picture in his wallet?? It's not cool. 
dragonflie
by on Aug. 22, 2007 at 1:35 PM
I agree with all the statements I have read about giving him a photo.  I was married for 13 years to now my ex husband.  It was his choice to leave and sleep with the neighbor as it is also his choice now to not support our children.  I work 2 jobs to support them and its that money that pays for the pictures I have, why would I want to give him something I paid for when he doesn't help.
1sttimemommy923
by on Aug. 22, 2007 at 1:47 PM
It seems to me you have no choice but to get the courts involved. If he wants pictures let him help pay for them even if you tke them yoursefl they are not free. Give him what he is asking for. But, also make sure that you are getting what is due to you to care for your child. If the courts get involved he will also be given visitation. In addition if you don't give him the pictures he can very easily take you to court and say that you are keeping him frome his child then you have nothing too dispute that it's your word against his. In addition the fact that you wont even give him a  picture doesnt make you look good either.
Crysil
by on Aug. 22, 2007 at 2:18 PM
I agree with the majority - don't give it to him if it doesn't feel right. Also, if he wants photos maybe he should come take them. Makes sense to me. DO NOT be scared of the courts. Think about it - if he won't give you any money, do you really think he's going to spend the money to fight for....photos in court? Also, if he decided to drag you to court, he'd be screwed because he's not paying support - I believe most counties frown on that. The only reason you'd need even if the courts did become a problem is that you can't AFFORD it because he doesn't SUPPORT your baby.
manders018
by on Aug. 23, 2007 at 12:11 AM
Everything that he has done to contact me has been done in writing. He doesn't realize how damning his words will be when it comes time to go to court.
Quoting 1sttimemommy923:

It seems to me you have no choice but to get the courts involved. If he wants pictures let him help pay for them even if you tke them yoursefl they are not free. Give him what he is asking for. But, also make sure that you are getting what is due to you to care for your child. If the courts get involved he will also be given visitation. In addition if you don't give him the pictures he can very easily take you to court and say that you are keeping him frome his child then you have nothing too dispute that it's your word against his. In addition the fact that you wont even give him a picture doesnt make you look good either.


manders018
by on Aug. 23, 2007 at 12:13 AM
Thanks for the help everyone. He does have photographs of the baby and he gets them every time he comes to see the baby but since he has only come once in the last 3 months if he wants to brag then I feel he has to step up to the plate and do more than just say he is the best father by having a picture of the baby. Whatever I was really pissed earlier.... but thankfully time has calmed me down.
jen_keiko
by on Aug. 23, 2007 at 4:55 AM
I would say give him OLD pictures of the baby...like the ones he already has... it's really great for you that he does all his communication in writing!!  *insert evil laugh*  okay but really, yeah, you could give him old ones.  That'd be a little funny, actually... =P
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