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Tried to stay friends with daughter's dad.......

Posted by on Aug. 23, 2007 at 10:52 AM
  • 4 Replies

Hello all!

Single mom here, my daughter is 3. Her father and I were never married, tried to make a relationship work off and on for 10 YEARS now.
Obviously, is never going to work.  We have tried to remain friends, and do things as a "family" for the sake of our daughter.  The problem is..... he takes it too far at times.  Thinks he needs to know all about my personal life, is making it hard for me to move on and see other people.  He thinks he needs to know what I am doing, where I am at etc.

There have been times we would go to dinner together, just he and I, then at the end of the evening  he  would be romantic or try to be intimate with me. I DO NOT want this sort of relationship with him any longer.

I guess my question is......  do I have to cut ALL friendship ties, and the only thing we have to do with each other is be parents?  Can anyone else relate to this, or been in this type of situation?

Thanks for listening!

Bellasmom






by on Aug. 23, 2007 at 10:52 AM
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Replies (1-4):
Dmimama1206
by on Aug. 23, 2007 at 10:55 AM
You need to be very stern with him and put your foot down. And don't do anything alone with him. Just family outings and thats it.
sosojenn
by on Aug. 23, 2007 at 10:59 AM

Well first of all you should never try to be friends with your daughter's father especially since ya'll weren't ever really together like that.
It should be a civil adult relationship....no going out and chillin and having dinner together.
You both need your own seperate lives and don't need to play house for the sake of your child.



 

punky3175
by on Aug. 23, 2007 at 11:01 AM

It'll probably be easier to not go out with just him.  Make it purely family outings.  I still consider my ex-husband a friend, and when we do the "kid-swap" we spend time together with the kids.  I talk to him about what's going on in my life and vice versa, but 1) he doesn't live very close (I'm in Southern GA he's in Northern VA) and 2) he isn't trying to keep me from moving on (and I'm not trying to keep him from moving on.)  You'll have to be very firm with her father and may even want to try and stop sharing your life with him.   Just talk to him about what's going on with your daughter.  It's hard to cut all ties to someone you've known for that long and who you share a child with.

MomToTwoGirls72
by on Aug. 23, 2007 at 11:11 AM
You are going through the same thing that I'm going through with my youngest daughters dad he thinks that he has to know everything what I'm doing.... who I'm going out with...why I'm doing this and that.....me and him have been apart for 4 yrs but lived with each other for 5yrs I just I couldn't take his attitude anymore he thought he could control me and he still does but the more he makes a big about something its usually something stupid the more attitude I have with him and he wonders why I use to let him talk down to me but not anymore....
Anyway I have new boyfriend we been together for 5 months now and Richard(My ex) thinks its wrong for me to do anything with my boyfriend like to his mom and dads....talk to him at work or even on the phone thats just wrong.....He doesn't understand why I'm with my boyfriend its like this well he doesn't tell me what to do.....I can actually talk to him without yelling and I feel comfortable when I'm with him....
Of course Richard says that the only reason I'm with him (my boyfriend) is because I'm after sex I'm not like that at all and he thinks that he has to know everything that we are doing of course I don't tell him because its none of his business and I tell him that he doesn't like how I talk to him at all and I think its funny hehehehe....
Sorry for rambling if I was you I wouldn't try to be friends with him just deal with the parenting stuff and try to get a long at least in front of your child....
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