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am i horrible??

Posted by on Aug. 23, 2007 at 3:33 PM
  • 8 Replies
ever since I found out I was pregnant, I made it an priority in my life to have her father in her life and for his parents to be active...I told him how important it was to me...She needs a grandfather, I know my dad would of loved her but he's in heaven and well, she deserves a grandfather!!!  I'm 31 weeks pregnant and his parents don't know yet...They live in OH and we live in PA...oh forgot to say he threw me out when I was 17 weeks pregnant (mother's day) because he was going to move his imaginary girlfriend in...nice way to break it off cause you don't a kid..He's 27 years old... I just feel so worthless, I did everything in my power to have him be prepare...bought all the daddy things and stuff that was based on his likings...what about me, 2 books about mommy loving her child...I'm trying my best to have everything...he was even trying to take the baby shower away from me...he decided hey we'll have it back where I'm from and guess what, I'm not invited...I hate him so bad...What did I do to deserve this..I gave him everything...he's start in Pittsburgh, I warned about the parts he shouldn't go in, I helped him get an apartment and told him to get places..this was after his ex, threw him out and he knew nothing about the city...I thought I was a great person for doing so...I guess not....

by on Aug. 23, 2007 at 3:33 PM
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Replies (1-8):
Tahjanae_s_Mom
by on Aug. 23, 2007 at 3:36 PM
if you feel safe enough, call them and tell them

Rachael

myspace.com/rachaelrb

Lilypie Baby Ticker

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blondisfun
by on Aug. 23, 2007 at 3:40 PM
OOOO Hunny I am so sorry!! That is an aweful situation. That totally sucks, and you are not a horrible person at all you were just trying to do what was right and do what you thought you needed to do for your baby. I think you have to be a total sweetheart to do all that and go through what you are with him. I know it's hard but just stick in there and keep your chin up because when your baby gets here that is all that will matter to you.

Rachael
22singlemom
by on Aug. 23, 2007 at 3:44 PM
First off, you are  NOT worthless!! You seem to know what you want.  I agree with the first comment.  If you feel safe, go to his parents and tell them.

He may be the father of your baby, but you should be hearing loving things now instead of being insulted every turn you take.  It sounds to me like he's terrified.  Maybe if you do the catch and release, it might work. Let him go for a while and see if he comes back.  If he doesn't, he's not worth putting such an effort to make him part of the baby's life.  He may be scared off (not by what you're doing, but by what is going on...)  There are a lot of guys that are truly genuine and don't mind if a girl has a baby (or is pregnant).  You will be a great mother.  All your effort should be on the baby now.  They will know they're loved because of a mom who brought them into this world. 

I hope everything works out for you!  message me if you need someone to talk to!
Lillies_mommy
by on Aug. 23, 2007 at 3:48 PM
I have somewhat of the same thing going on... my babys fathers parents dont even know about her and shes 6 MONTHS OLD now... I would tell them myself but I dont know there number... I even tried lookin it up online and found nothing and he doesnt want to tell thim... says he not ready yet... COME ON SHES 6 MONTHS OLD... I think they should know that they have a graddaughter.... They live In Florida and we live in Maine (differnet parts... were about three hours from eachother) it just drives me nuts... but as for you... I think you should forget him... you deserve better... get DHHS on his act... after the babys born... maybe hell smarten up... Good Luck and Im here for you!!!
mamabear21
by on Aug. 23, 2007 at 3:50 PM

Hi girlie. Well I think that you should call his parents and tell them. I think that you should file child support and raise your baby the best you can alone. I was with my exhusband for 5yrs and he treated me pretty bad, he didnt want to help with my son either and he was the laziest person ive ever met. but he now has nothing to do with my son  and my boy is 2 1\2 and his grandparents on my exs side are now denying izaiah since the divorce so i know kinda what you feel like but keep your head up and call his parents and tell them mabey they will be happy for you but be strong and do whats best for your baby.

Babyduche
by on Aug. 23, 2007 at 3:58 PM
his mom is psycho from how he kinda describes her, the times I've met her she was a great person that cared a little too much about him, which wasn't a bad thing...she called me his guardian angel cause I don't let him get into bad situations cause I'm laid back and don't go to the bars and clubs and etc...But he told me before we found out that she told him that he was an abortion that went wrong...he said she would try to convince to get one, which he was too in his little sly way but he knows not to do that with me because I see through it...He knows I know him better then anyone else and well, he knows I'm at my wit ends with him and well, I don't want to call his parents because well, who knows what he said about me in the last month because I can only imagine...I don't want child support because that means joint custody in PA...I kinda want to move from here so it would be impossible for him to get joint!!!  He really don't deserve her...I just love her so much and the people in my family that told me to get rid of her, I told them get out of her life then, her and I don't need them... why can't he...to me he's not being a man....

Tahjanae_s_Mom
by on Aug. 23, 2007 at 4:08 PM
sounds like you are in a catch 22...I feel for you, i really do...stay strong for youself and your baby, she is YOURS. noone can take that away from you.

Rachael

myspace.com/rachaelrb

Lilypie Baby Ticker

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My_sons_Momma
by on Aug. 23, 2007 at 4:38 PM

You are not a terrible person!!!  Men, in case you haven't figured it out yet, aren't the best caregivers.  He's 27??  He needs to grow up and be 27 then.  I would call his parents and tell them myself...my sister did that when she was pregnant and they had no annomosity towards her.  I realize it's important to you for his family to be involved, but honey, sometimes things don't work out the way we always want.  I hope you aren't tryin to get back with him?  He will do nothing but hurt you and your baby.  You need to worry about you!!  You need to stop making yourself feel responsible for him.  There are many of us women out here that do this day in and day out all by ourselves and it works out just fine.  Of course, nobody wants to do it by themselves but you make it work. 


Maybe his parents will be more understanding then he is and want to be their for their grandchild.  Don't worry about him anymore, he's a grown ass man, if he can't figure it out by now then nothing you do or say is going to make him change.

Hope that helps and just remember you aren't alone!!!

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