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Just venting

Posted by on Sep. 5, 2007 at 6:05 PM
  • 7 Replies

OK ladies.....I need to vent!

How pathetic can you get! After daily phone calls from this guy (and my mother), I finally sent him the following message:

I need you to calm down. I can’t have multiple voicemails and texts when I don’t answer your calls right away. Also, I like talking, but the daily phone calls to get info. on the abortion has to end. I am feeling very pressured by both you and my mom and really just need to space to breathe. In other words, please back off a bit. The CVS is on 9/24. Until I know who the father is for certain, I am not going to abort it. This may sound harsh, but if you help pay for paternity testing and the baby proves to be yours, then you can voice an opinion. Until then, I need you to leave me alone on the subject. If you want an abortion to be considered, then the paternity testing must be done. I have all but $153 of the $1600 needed for the CVS. I still have to come up with another $800 for the labwork. I’m sure they won’t release any results until they are paid. Then either you or Jamie will have to be swabed for paternity. This costs $450. By October 1st, we should all know who the actual father is and I will only be 13 weeks.  That still leaves 3 weeks for an abortion to be done if it comes to that. My mom will pay for the abortion so you don’t have to worry about the extra cost there. You have voiced your concerns and opinions several times to me, but until I know you are the father I am not inclined to be pressured by you into having an abortion at this time. Don’t bother to try to change my mind about this. I will talk with you of other things, but for now, not this. I hope you can try to understand.

His first reaction is to call me (I don’t answer, I’m still at work). He leaves me a message where he sounds like he’s distraught and crying: we made an agreement, he can’t aford a child, he can’t afford to lose his house and to cause more trauma for his son. No reaction from me yet, so he sends yet another voicemail. He’s not crying in this one, but telling me that this isn’t fair to him! Please! Like it is fair to ask me to abort a child that I want and that the other potential father wants if it is his. Too bad! He couldn’t keep the condom on the whole act because it cost him sensation. He didn’t want to put it on right away either until he got good and hard after a few thrusts. He made his choice then, now its my turn. I choose to find out for certain if my ex-bf is the father. I doubt it is this guy’s anyway, the chance is very small. All I want is to be left alone to make this decision on my own without being pressured. I want this baby. I probably can’t afford the financial ramifications either, but I’m trying my hardest! How do I tell him to take a flying leap? Should I tell him that? What if he is right, and with his horrible luck he does turn up as the bio-dad?

Well....thanks for letting me vent.

by on Sep. 5, 2007 at 6:05 PM
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by on Sep. 5, 2007 at 6:09 PM

I'm not gonna tell you what to do but I don't think abortion is the way to go. I know it can be scary and almost too much to handle but even if you don't want the baby, there are plenty of people out there who would give anything to adopt it. My best friend and her husband can't have a baby and the thought of aborting one just breaks my heart. Just think a lot about it before you go through with something like this.

by on Sep. 5, 2007 at 6:14 PM
I really do want this child.  I just hope that it will be ok for us with me struggling to make ends meet for awhile.  My mother has basically told me that if I have this child, it will never be welcome in her house--and I'm 34 yrs old!  This guy is driving me crazy because he calls me every day about scheduling an abortion.  Sometimes, to get him off my back for a little while I tell him I'm gonna schedule it.  But I think that now, even if it was his I wouldn't care.  I'm just scared about having to do this all on my own.  I make to much $ to qualify for any assistance and my family just told me this weekend that they'd just about disown me.  Truthfully, the more he and my mom pester me to abort, the more I dig in my heels about keeping the child and raising it on my own without them.
by on Sep. 6, 2007 at 1:31 AM
I'm totally against abortion in most cases (my personal beliefs) My best friend had one this year and we ended up pregnant a couple weeks apart. I supported her decision because it is her life but Ive also seen what a hard time she has had with that choice and I'm sure it doesn't help to see me go thru my entire pregnancy knowing a few weeks later she would be in the same boat. If you want this child then you should keep it. If you feel that you cant take care of it there is the option of putting it up for adoption but that is your choice. Don't let others tell you what to do with your life especially at 34 years old. I know you feel stuck between a rock in a hard place believe me i know I'm a single mom i get no support from the state because i make to much and i get no help at this point from my daughters father so i know the stress your feeling, Honey just make sure the choice is one that you can l with because bottom line its your life and at the end of the day you only have yourself. Good luck i hope it all works out for you!
by on Sep. 6, 2007 at 1:41 AM
putting it up for  adoption is another alternative.
by on Sep. 6, 2007 at 9:50 AM

Quoting Kat68:

putting it up for  adoption is another alternative.
Although I appreciate that adoption is an option, it is not one I am willing to consider.  My neice and nephews were all adopted into the family, so I know how wonderful adoption can be, but I know for myself that it is not something I can do.  Also, it would be very difficult to explain to my 3 boys about giving their sibiling up to another family.  Because of a current custody issue with my ex-husband, they are having a hard time dealing with the amount of time they are separated from me and have to spend with their father.  Adoption would only increase their current fears.  The only options I have are to keep the baby and raise it as best I can on my own or to abort it.  At the moment, I have chosen to keep the baby and find a way to make ends meet.  I have 7 more months in which to get something worked out.

by on Sep. 6, 2007 at 9:55 AM
Don't let this jackass pressure you into doing something that you don't want to do. Is he at all threatening in his voicemails? Keep a record of what is going on even if it is hand written. You don't need him in order to have the baby. He is upset becuase he couldn't keep it in his pants and he's the one who messed up too..... but even if he turns out to be the biological father you don't HAVE to abort if you don't want to. As far as your mother I would slap her... you are an adult and she has no say in what you do. My mom wasn't happy with my unplanned pregnancy but as soon as she saw my son she fell in love. Good Luck!
by on Sep. 6, 2007 at 10:20 AM
 i have never forgotten the baby i didn't have. kids don't have to know about it but you will forever. abortion or adoption, the baby is yours forever
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