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SD Called

Posted by on Sep. 7, 2007 at 3:41 AM
  • 1 Replies

I posted this on my page and in other groups, I just really needed to vent!  What an A**hole!

The SD FINALLY got the results of his retarded paternity test and texted me.  Thats right texted me, didn't call cuz he doesnt know how to use that feature of his phone.  Said he wanted to talk because guess what I'm the father...duh, I told you there was no one else, but did you listen.  No you are an idiot.  Anyhow... He called me later that night, someone else must have dialed for him, and we talked.  I began by asking him why he waited 2 1/2 weeks AFTER getting the results to call.  He said he just got them that night.  I was like oh really, then why did I get them so long ago???  Caught him off guard with that one.  He said I swear I just got them today, everybody's been asking me about whether or not they came.  Moving on.... I told him that I would really just like him to sign away his rights because he hasn't been there since December in all reality.  Yeah we stopped speaking in February but he checked out a long time before that.  He said he understood but that he really wanted to be a dad to Nate since he was his son.  I told him that he could have avoided all of this time and money if he had just seen him to begin with, he's a good mix of both of us, neither one of us could deny him (though he's managing to do that pretty well). He said I know I just didn't want to get attached if he wasn't mine.  I replied with I told you almost a year ago that he was yours, there was no one else dumbass.  I know he says but I just wanted to be sure.  So long story short he convinces me that he is sincere and wants to be in Nate's life.  I told him that I'm sure he could understand why I didn't believe or trust him.  He replied with I know I have A LOT of work to do to prove to you that I'm not going to abandon my son (funny considering what happened the next day). I told him that he could hurt me all he wants but not my son, I'd hunt him down and kill him.  He's like I know I can tell how much you care about him.  Duh stupid he's my son, I carried him for 9 months inside of my body.  I felt him move and he gave me heartburn and I couldnt sleep for 3 months.  Duh.  I reminded him that I am moving and he said I know.  I said in four days.  And he ws like oh shit.  I said yeah so how do you see this working out?  And he asked how far away I was moving and I told him about 3 hours from here.  And we talked about the distance for a bit and then he said well maybe in 6 months or a year or something I could move closer to the QC.  And in my head I'm thinking two things 1. Yeah right and 2. hmmm maybe he is commited to being a dad...still skeptical.  So then he asks to see Nate before we move and I was extremely hesitant about this.  I told him that the condo was a mess with boxes everywhere and it just wasn't a good time.  And hes like well I'd really like to see him before you go.  So eventually I agreed and said well why don't you come over tomorrow after work.  he was like I work til 5 so I should be there by 530 6 at the latest.  I said that was fine we could discuss child support and visitation then.  I asked him to put Nate on his insurance and he said of course of course and I said you do know that you already owe 3 months back support plus another 18 years right? and he was like yeah of course.  I said ok as long as you understand that going into this.  And I told him that I wasn't really comfortable with him being involved but I wouldn't stop him from seeing Nate, that that wouldn't be fair to Nate.  He was like I can't wait to hold him and hug him and kiss him, I'm not going to want to put him down. Can you send me some pix?  So we ended the call with I'll see ya tomorrow.  I do not have a good feeling about this.

Tomorrow: (Wed Sept 5)

About 530 I get a txt from the SD "I'm really sorry but I need to think things over"  I txtd him back saying then just forget it.  I called my BFF and started going off, saying how I knew I couldn't trust him to be honest and tell me how he really feels that he was just saying what he thought I wanted to hear.  Then I was like you know what, he needs to hear this not you.  So I call the loser and of course he doesn't answer.  So I leave the following message: "I knew you wouldn't answer when I called.  You owe me an explanation TONIGHT! I knew Nate couldn't count on you." And I hung up.  Amazingly enough he actually called me back about an hour later.  I said what happened between last night and now.  Who did you talk to to make you change your mind?  And he was like no one, I was just thinking all day at work about how much this would change my life.  DUH AGAIN IDIOT!  And so I replied with you've had almost a year to think about how your life would change.  And do you know what he has the nerve to say to me????  NOT REALLY I WAS HOPING HE WASN'T MINE.   I didn't even know what to say, but this came out of my mouth, well since you don't want him why dont you just agree to sign away your rights right now???  And he yelled at me, Can't you just give me a few days?  Why? Did I get a few days? No my life changed the minute I peed on that stick and it said pregnant.  I didn't get a few days to think!  He said I'll call you Saturday. I told him if I don't answer to leave a message I'd be busy moving.  He asked if I wanted him to call me Sunday instead and I said no call Saturday and leave a damned message.  I said if I have time I'll get back to you, if not then I won't.

So that is the new baby papa drama.  So here are my thoughts:  I think he really would like to be a part of Nate's life.  I also think there is a girlfriend giving him an ultimatum saying either that kid or me.  Which if that's the case then I really don't want him around letting other people think for him and I don't want him having some girlfriend around my son who doesn't even want him to be involved with his son.  I honestly don't think I'll ever hear from him again.  And I have to say that I'm relieved.  But why even call and put me through all that?  I spent Tues night stressing about how it was going to go seeing him again and letting him be around Nate.  You know what I should have said to him?  Even if you were hoping that he isn't yours, you still should have been considering the consequences if the test came back that he was, not my fault you aren't an adult.  UGH.  So I really hope that something happens to him so he can't have anymore kids...THAT my friends would be poetic justice!

by on Sep. 7, 2007 at 3:41 AM
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demonandangel
by on Sep. 7, 2007 at 10:56 AM
Vent away girl!  I know how you feel.  I'm in the process of planning a prenatal paternity test to prove to the dad that this child is his.  But I'm a little afraid that it is only going to cause me more problems than solve.  There is another girl in the picture and he is currently living with her.  She doesn't want him to have any contact with me and is hoping that if the test proves the child not to be his that she can convince him to walk away from me for good and be with her.  All of his actions are done with her in mind.  He is currently living by her rules, but won't tell me what those rules are exactly.  He says if it's his kid, he'll be there for it and has even said that he'd want to reconcile and get married.  But how can I believe that?  If he was serious, he'd be here for me now while we wait for the paternity results.  But like your SD, he says he doesn't want to get attached if it isn't his.  When you wrote I also think there is a girlfriend giving him an ultimatum saying either that kid or me.  Which if that's the case then I really don't want him around letting other people think for him and I don't want him having some girlfriend around my son who doesn't even want him to be involved with his son. I could really relate.  I don't want this girl to ever lay eyes on my child.  But if I prove to him that this is his child and he chooses to be with her, I won't be able to prevent it.  I wish I knew what the right decision was about this prenatal paternity test.  I guess I'm hoping that it will bring him back to me, but I know that is probably foolish thinking. 
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