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Daddy called..... holy cow, am i halucinating?

Posted by on Sep. 16, 2007 at 12:06 PM
  • 7 Replies
Okay so i havent heard from my daughters father in a month and a half to two months. He use to call my cell phone every week to 3 weeks... but then i moved back with my parents and i dont get service on my cell here, so he has to call the house phone. Well he played the i dont have your house number sooo many times when he called my friend to tell me to call him, since he doesnt have the balls to call my house since one of my parents might answer. (He bailed out on me when i was only 3 months prego... a month after i found out and he went across the US to AZ with an 18 yr old mutual friend) Well ive left messages for him and he hasnt returned my calls. I have given him every chance to find out whats going on with her... and for me to send out pictures of her to him and what not. But lone and behold... yesterday i see a number im not sure if i know and i dont pick up. Then a lil later my friend calls me telling me he called her, and said he called here and no one answered... of course he didnt leave a message.  So i call him back...

Now why is it that i was sooo nice to him  on the phone... laughing and joking like we were amigos... hanging out, (not relaxed though) I couldnt even come to tell him that i filed for child support... (he told his other ex that i wouldnt do that to him.... im not like that, and that is a whole nother story in its own). The last time he left me  a message it said... "if thats the way youre gonna be, then im just not going to call anymore" WTF... is that hurting me at all... no... its not... its hurting his daughter and himself. It just saves me from the akward phone convos...

What i dont understand is why i am soooo damn nice to him on the phone... maybe he still gets to me. I know in my heart he is not the person i want to be with... and yet i wish him to be here for me and her in this moment. Is it just because i wish i could have someone to share this with.... or is it because i want him since he is the father of her. I dunno....

Tara

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by on Sep. 16, 2007 at 12:06 PM
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Replies (1-7):
heidi37217
by on Sep. 16, 2007 at 12:55 PM
Hi I just wanted to say that its completely normal to have feelings for your childs father and even want to be with him. I know from experience that its hard to get over not being with the father but we have to be strong and do what we have to do for ourselves and our children. I would definately reccommend child support its is his obligation as a father to help provide for your child. Good Luck and you have a beautiful daughter.

                                  
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RycesMom
by on Sep. 16, 2007 at 1:03 PM
I know the feeling of not understanding why you are being nice to the guy. I have started to rehearse what i need to say to him. For me laughter is a nervous habit. When I feel uncomfortable I get a high voice and giggle even if it is not all that funny. I am not sure if rehearsing will help you but it is an idea.
Malayahsmom06
by on Sep. 16, 2007 at 2:28 PM
I'm the same way with Malayah's father. He cheated, bailed on me, etc but when he calls I still think what if....... I know hes not good enough but its still hard not to think I wish he was here for us too!
amyjojo_amyjo
by on Sep. 16, 2007 at 2:46 PM
Girrrl... be strong!  Believe me I totaly understand how lonely it is being a single mother, your social life is almost non-existent.  But ask yourself,  "does this loser deserve you?"

Its everyone's dream to stay together as a family, no one wants their child growing up in a one parent, one income household, but that is what happens a lot of times because these men do not want to take responsibility for their children. 

He doesn't deserve anything but the summons he'll get for that child support.  If he was a man, he would be taking care of his child financially and emotionally. 

You can do better for you and your child.  You deserve better!  I know it is hard and you don't have to be rude to him when he calls- but don't EVER feel guilty for asserting action to make sure that your child is taken care of financially you deserve and so does your child!!!  He helped bring this child into the world and he needs to help provide for her!!!!

Sorry-wow-that just all kind of spilled out
tinkerbellava
by on Sep. 16, 2007 at 11:46 PM
I'm not gonna say it's because you have feelings for him...because I sure don't have any for my child's father!!!!  But I do wish he was a better man for her sake!!!!   there is a part of me that wants him to clean up his life for good and be a part of her life.....but there is also another part of me that wishes I had just chosen a better guy from the beginning!!!!  So that I would have that support and all in my life.....my family is great but it's not the same as having that special person in your life to be there with you though!!!

~Adrienne & Ava


mommymandy08
by on Sep. 17, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Does every douche bag guy leave their gf when they are 3 months pregnant? It seems thats been the story for me and MANY people I know.

All I can say is, i know how you feel. Although my childs not born yet, I cant help but wish he was here every step of the way. He got a gf probably not even a month after he left me (we had been together for over a year and already had our house picked out with plans of marraige) and now he likes to text me or email me when they have sex or something just to rub it in my face how much better then me she is. I know I wouldnt ever be w/ him ever again, but thers part of me that wishes he could be there for our little one. Guys are retarded, in my opinion I say u did the right thing going for child support, never feel bad about it, its for ur child and your child deserves the best.
agreatgirl1982
by on Sep. 17, 2007 at 1:27 AM
thank you for your support... i had filed for child support and assumed since we werent talking that he would get the papers and i wouldnt have to tell him first. But i guess he didnt get them yet. I did kick him out before he bailed... I said i didnt want to be with him anymore... so he went to take a 2 week vacay visiting his friend but itll be a year soon and hes not back. Also.... he has a 3yr old son with his x fiance which when he left... he bailed on the child support payments. Grrrrr f'n men!

Tara

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