So here's the thing... Nate's father decided last December that he no longer wanted to be in a relationship with me, not that we really ever had what anyone in their right mind would call a relationship. He did say that he still wanted to be involved with the baby and go to dr appointments. Well then that all died in February when he asked me for a paternity test. I had assumed all along that all of this was coming about because he had met someone else. He confirmed that tonight. Now ladies, I need to be very clear about this...I DO NOT WANT A RELATIONSHIP WITH THIS MAN....at least not anymore and I haven't for a very long time (there was a time when I desperately wanted him in my life, but I've seen his true colors). However I'm pissed that he's in a relationship. Now here's why...
During my pregnancy and after, whenever my friends and I would brainstorm about why he was acting the way he was we would always come to the conclusion that he had met someone else. But then we would wonder, what kind of a woman would date someone who willingly walked out on his pregnant ex and then completely abandoned the unborn (and then born) child and then denied that the baby was even his. I had also said that I would never want my son around someone like that, especially since we think that a lot of the stupid decisions he was making (like the paternity test and then saying the baby wasn't his) really came from her. Why do we think that? Because none of this stuff came up before he started seeing her (if our timeline is correct). And do you want to know the worst part???? SHE'S A MOM! Which makes me really fuming pissed because for the past 10 months or so while he's been wishy washy about his own son, he's been playing daddy to hers. WTF is wrong with this man???? And woman???? I don't know about you but if someone told me they have a baby on the way my first question would be "Why aren't you with the mother?" and I'm not sure any answer would be good enough for me to continue seeing that person.
I don't know maybe it's my own belief system and morals getting in the way but damn it this pisses me off! And he knows that I don't even want to share my son with him, what makes him think I'd want to share him with the person I think started most of the drama during and after my pregnancy???? Of course he has no idea I feel this way because I don't want him to think I want to be with him, because I'm pretty sure thats what would go through his thick head. And I sure as hell don't want Nate calling this woman mom, well any other woman for that matter. But do I really want him around someone who thinks its ok that his father bailed on him before he was even born???? because it means she'll think its ok when he bails in a few years like I'm afraid of.
Who knew being a mom was so hard!!!!! I feel like I have to fight emotionally for Nate because he's not able to fend for himself yet. UGH!