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Am i about to do the right thing?

Posted by on Sep. 19, 2007 at 9:54 AM
  • 2 Replies
OK i need some advice...This is going to be a long story. My situation is so complicated and messed up and seems to be getting worse by the day.
I was a divorced mom of two last fall when i met who i thought was Mr. Right. We dated had a great time together and i fell in love with him. He said he loved me, wanted to get married and we talked about having a baby. He really wanted me to get pregnant. We didn't prevent it and i did. I had my baby boy 8-16-07.
In December I found out he cheated and he eventually confessed and we made amends so to speak. But the longer the relationship went on he got more and more distant. I thought he was just a jerk who got scared and didn't want to be a father. By April i had had enough and called it quits. There's sooooo much more, so many things he would be a book.
ANYWAY i was putting him behind me moving on. But i still wanted to let him know the baby was born. I didn't want to be the bitch and not tell him about his child. SO i no longer had a working phone number for him so i emailed him. When my son was two wks old he started emailing me and iming me and txting me about our son. I thought this would be good he'll be a standup dad if not a very good bf. But then it all started coming to light. I knew he had a child by his exwife (there's a restaining order to keep him from the ex and daughter). But i found out he has a son born in June and one due in a month or two. Both of which had to have been conceived while we were together!
I have been in contact with some of his gfs. The mother of the June baby in particular. It turns out we were all told the same things, fed the same bull, like a script. He's not just sleeping around, he's intentionally trying to get women pregnant! His last gf had her tubes tied and he tried to talk her into have a reversal!
He knows now we all know about him and each other. He still lies and denies things and he has absolutely no remorse. All he says is shame on me!
He called the mother of June baby horrible horrible names. She has a DNA test scheduled for him on Thursday. He, in his true style, said he wants to go but doesn't think he can make it, no car. HA
Anyway to try and shorten this up. He said he would go if i picked him up. He wouldn't take the ride offered by the June baby's mother. So she and i have agreed to go together to pick him up and take him to the DNA test. Part of me thinks i should just get out now, i really don't want to see him or have him around my child. He's too messed up. But i want him to have to pay support. And if we can get him there once we have his DNA and they can use it for my case too. If we let the system deal with him it could take months. Plus i do think it would be a little bit of revenge to make him sit in the car with both us. He won't be able to smooth talk us then. Am i doing the right thing? I would like to just leave him at the testing center and make him find his own way home! LOL
This guy preys on single moms. All his gfs are alike. We are all average looking, hard working, single moms who are lonely i guess. He's met us all online and fed us the same crap. He has no soul!
Sorry so long, thanks for reading and any advice!

by on Sep. 19, 2007 at 9:54 AM
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by on Sep. 19, 2007 at 10:20 AM
i'm sorry you're having to deal with such a jerk.  i think you are right to have him take a DNA test for child support purposes.  i just hope he doesnt try to pull a stunt like wanting visitation/custodial rights.  he has proven he cannot be trusted.  so always think about your child first and what he needs.  also, i dont know if this is applicable where you live, but with multiple women asking for child support payments from one father....the woman who usually applies first gets a larger sum in proportion to the i hope you have already filed child support paperwork.  i think both of you are being too nice in picking him up......he's an adult who needs to take care of his responsibilities.  but i do agree you should leave him there once the DNA sample is taken and let him figure out how to get himself home :)  i hope everything works out for you.


"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. "

by on Sep. 19, 2007 at 11:18 AM
Thanks for the reply. He has threatened to take me to court for visitation. But who's really going to give him any with his record? Let him i have a good lawyer.
Where i live support goes in order of birth. Oldest gets their money first and so boy is third in line (as far as i know). I have filed my support paper work already.

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