need help with my 12 year old

Put a password that only you and your husband know.  That will help keep him off the computer.  As for his computer...since it is summer time take it out of his room.   Then talk to the parents of his friends and tell them what you have caught him doing and they might want to keep an eye out for their kids are doing online as well.  When he shows that he can use the computer responsibly, then he can have  his computer back in his room...you might start with having it where you or your hubby can periodically check on what he is doing online.

The kids PC is in the living room - so I can keep an eye out.   I too have the parent blocks but these kids find ways around it.  My older, now 18, found a way around but it wasn't too bad what he was looking at!  The 13 year old (the last child at home yeah) hasn't gotten onto sites yet as far as I can tell.  I always have a password for all PCs then I change it if they are naughty.  AND if all that doesn't work, when you leave take the keyboards with you in the car.

IMHO it might be time for a detailed sex talk if that is something your family does.  I'm pretty open to questions myself with 5 sons, so their natural curiosity is less I believe.  So far all the boys waited until 17 or even older to have sex and they were all insteady relatinships first.

Im so sorry that he is getting involved in that. my kids are all under 5 but they like to touch my computer so we password protected it for every time the screen saver comes on so when i come back I put my password on it maybe your husband can do that to his too.

I went through that with my son before there were parental controlls! and I was a single mom.  He is 22 now and his recently ex girlfriend he had since High School told me he is addicted to porn.... so I have no advice.
I hope your husband can have some kind of conversation with him to explain in a "man to man" kind of way.  I did let the moms of the 2 neighbor hood boys he hung around with know so they would have a heads up with their kids. Keep an eye on that history button if he is one who wont think to delete it because they are sneaky if they want something bad enough! It is summer so he can't use the homework excuse!
Good luck!

I am a Mom of 6 children...5 of whom are boys so i know what you are going through. What my husband and I did was change the password on the computer everyday. Also had a long heart to heart about what is Sex and what is love. And to be open to all sorts of questions that they may have.Nowadays it is so easy for a young man to access to sites that are nasty and disgusting. It could be that he is curious about sex but is afraid to come to you with questions about it. I know it may be a little bit uncomfortable but what a bit of uncomfort than having to worry about what he's doing on the net.I think you will find an open discussion between you and your son will open alot of doors.

Let me know how things go for you and your son.

Well yes this is a problem. My advice is to sit down and not get mad just talk to him and ask him why he is doing all of this. I mean hea a boy and at that he wants to know and see all of this stuff. Mt step brothers did the same thing . It all depends on your beliefs if you do this or not. I am going to do the same thing with my son. You can either allow him do do somethings  like have you Victoria Secret cataloge for Jr. Miss or make him fear sex and everything about it. Because it seems to me that he is going to find a way to do it no matter what you do and you are at a loss because you dont want your son to think sex is like that. It should be with who you love not random people for money. Just talk to him and figure out what you think is best.

We went through this with my now 16 yr old son about 2 yrs ago. We had to ban him from our pc's because he loaded not once but THREE TIMES with viruses and junk!
He then decided to do the same thing at his Grandparents house and was banned from unsupervised usage. One of my nieces also did it and got in big trouble too.
I would try explaining what those sites actually do to a computer and if he loads yours up with viruses then he needs to get it fixed himself , which might wake him up a little. Good Luck.

Kids are naturally curious at this age so you cannot scold him. What you can do is turn it into a lesson of how he can learn about the human body and women in a more respectful way.

Oh boy, what a tough situation.


I only have a girl and she is 16 months soooo I'm not sure what to tell you....

But exploring his body and sexual desires at that age is normal.....

But I can understand you not wanting him to look at porn.

Good luck.