Okay ladies I have a predicament. My DD (almost 4 years old) goes to church with my MIL. I didn't have the heart to tell her "no" when she first started taking my DD to church. Also it was a chance to have a break since I'm currently a SAHM. But now that she is growing I'm not sure if I want her to go to church. I strongly believe that whatever my daughter chooses religiously should be of her own deciding. I think sending her to church will sway her decision when she gets old enough to make that sort of decision. But I don't know how to tell my MIL "no, you can't take my daughter to church anymore." I don't like drama and my MIL is a nice woman and I don't want to tick her off or hurt her feelings. Also, we live in North GA. The buckle of the bible belt and when my daughter gets of school age I don't want her to be ostracized by other kids/teachers for not going to church. Any thoughts or advice on the matter will be greatly appreciated. TYIA.
I am an: atheist, democratic party, formula fed my daughter, had my daughter out of wedlock but married the baby's daddy, 25 year old, spanking and time out using, naturally red headed, pro-choice, insecure, Bi-polar, Marilyn Manson loving, rock out to emo metal and rock, EMT profession, psychology loving sort of momma. I am anything but what you think I am.
The only choice you have is to talk to your MIL about it. She may not like it, but it's YOUR child and YOUR decision and you have to do what you feel is best and not worry about the drama it may or may not cause.
As for the school issue: I went though this last year. My 9 years old son was being harassed by his 'friends' because they were discussing god one day and my son said that he didn't believe in him. He let them have their fun for a few minutes and then changed the subject- which worked. It happened twice and I was going to go to the school if it happened once more but it never did. Although he was upset and uncomfortable, he managed to handle it all on his own, in his own way. You just have to give your kids the tools to use in situations like that.
If it makes you feel any better, my brothers and I all went to church when we were little but when we were old enough to make up our own minds, it didn't sway our decisions at all. Actually none of us decided that church was the way we wanted to go. I think that as long as you are open with her and teach her that she can make up her own mind, going to church won't hinder her choosing her own path. I firmly believe that if you give your child the tools, they will make the decision that is right for them. We often talk about various world religions in our home to give my daughter a basis of what is available. She also knows that if she chooses to not follow a religion that is ok too.
I guess my question would be, does your DD like going to church with her grandma? If she does, it's not going to hurt her. You will present a different POV at home, and she will be interacting socially and learning about how religious people think and having some special time with a relative.
I would talk it over with DD and ask her to tell you when she wants to stop going, and at that point you candiscontinue it.
I think most children who are brought up by people unafraid of free thinking will be able to make the decisions that are right for them, when it's time to decide.
The CafeMom Atheism FAQ, by Clairwil
- bloodytears1986
on Jul. 17, 2012 at 1:10 PM