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Losing My Fiance

Posted by on May. 4, 2007 at 1:55 PM
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3 months ago, my fiance- Will, was killed in a tragic work accident. One week before our wedding. 3 hours after his death, I was allowed to see his body. Looked just like my Love, except pale and cool to the touch. I was able to hold his hand and caress his face. I will never forget that day, never forget his looks of that day. I was never able to go the funeral b/c his father took his body back to WV....I am in MO. Will left behind a 6 yr old son, who is terribly brokenhearted. He has asked me numerous times, "What did Daddy look like when you seen him?" I did not lie to him and I told him Daddy looked like he was sleeping. That Jesus took Daddy before Daddy could feel any pain....which is true. Will was killed instantly and didn't feel anything. Will's best friend/co-worker witnessed it, and said it happened so fast there was no way Will could have been saved. I am however comforted knowing it was instant and he felt no pain....also that he was a strong Christian man. He was never afraid of phyiscal death as he knew he would be with the Lord.
I still hurt and get mad.....not mad at Will and not mad at God, just mad in general. I have not ONCE blamed God. I believe God has a reason for everything, I will never understand why it happened, and when I DO get to understand I will not need to know.
Will's son accepted Jesus on March 5th, and he totally has a strong faith. We do cry for Daddy still, as we are only human.
Will's family has dropped contact with me and Danny. Will's sister is the only one I talk to. Will's dad denies that Danny is Will's son, and denies that I even exist.
Is it so bad that I just want to be happy again? I dont know if I will ever love again like I did with Will, but I do want a bio-child of my own. I want a family of my own. Is it bad that i want that?!
by on May. 4, 2007 at 1:55 PM
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Replies (1-2):
magdeline48
by on May. 4, 2007 at 2:44 PM
You are allowed to grieve. You are also allowed to be happy again! There will never be another Will. Think...what would he want for his family?  Embrace your grief. Embrace life. You are still alive. Live life! Smell the flowers. and never...never...forget your fiance! Life is meant for loving and sharing it with others. May God Bless you on your journey. God has wonderful plans for you. Trust in him and lean not on your own understanding!
Marcia01
by on May. 4, 2007 at 2:45 PM
I am so sorry about your fiance.  Danny is truly blessed to have you caring for him.   I am sorry Will's father is treating you the way he is , the only thing I can say is he is grieving for his son and is angry.  Has he been saved?  you really need to pray for him as well.  There is nothing wrong with wanting to be happy again,  that is what we all long for.  I too am a true believer that all things happen for a reason.  Be patient, be still and listen to what God is telling you.
In my case things have been going together like a puzzle one piece at a time.  God is unfolding His plan for me alittle at a time.  If it was not for what had happened to  me I would never have been on the computer to have found this site to be ministering to you today.  See God works in mysterious ways.  Turn to your church family for support and we are here also.  God bless.
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