I'm on a tangent.

[darkeyedmom]

 First off, I'm not getting the digests from this group in my e-mail?!?!?!?

I never post in any of my groups but this group seemed fitting and I need to vent a  little. I got sick four years ago a day before Thanksgiving the docs told me about it,(my liver and blood). My friends were there for me for a while and after 15 years they just disappeared,one by one. My mother and step-father did too because my sister decides to wander back into their life. I found my bio Dad and brothers two years ago. Follow me yet,ha ha ha.

Periodically I write my ex-bf a letter so she knows she can't waste 15 years of my life and walk away without me letting her know I'm still here and I'm going to waste her time. My I also always knew my sister had an agenda with my dm and sf. My mother wanted to make amends through a letter,she wanted me to call her. I did, because I have the biggest heart until you rip it out. I'm taking things slow with my mother and sf. My sister is screwing them out of money. My mother admitted to me that I was right (gasp). I just wrote my ex bf another letter letting her know play by play how she screwed me. We did so much for them and never asked for anything. I am still so friggin hurt, I frankly want to punch her. I am such a good person but I turn into Satan when I'm crossed!!

I need a liver transplant, I'm so stuck in a rut. My kid's are older, I'm fighting with hubby because he's deaf and ignores me. I don't know what to do any more.

Also, my brother doesn't reply to me on FB when I send him a pm once every 7 mnth's!!! Thanks for listening or reading if you did:)

[sumbeach]

Girl, you need a big damn hug. I have gone through so much hell with my family. I gave them my heart, and money and time, and I am the piece of shot. I too, get sick, of being there for them, and get kicked in the stomach for not living back home. I have been many places, My husband of soon to be 30yrs, is military. I left home at the age of 17, got married, and became a wife . And a Mom at 19yrs old. Im now a Grandmother of 3. and I deal with crap every wich way I go. But one thing those that think they are taking away from me, they are not. I thought for yrs, I needed them in my lfe to live, Wrong. I left home, and I didn't look back. Yes its hard not having them in my life, but I have lived. I do call, and try as I might, to be a part of they're lives, but I am still the out cast. And I like it this way. You my dear will be ok, let your heart guide you, but not control. Rome wasn't built in a day, so take those small steps. For those grow into GIANT arms.

OMHO.

Debra