Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Hello

Posted by on Feb. 2, 2012 at 8:14 PM
  • 2 Replies
  • 180 Total Views

I'm a WAHM, I a solitary job so the internet is my closest connection to conversation that I get during the day while the kids and hubby are at work.

My Therapist says that I have PTSD stemming from childhood.

I am overwhelmed by my emotions right now and thought that perhaps I needed to be around people similar to me.  I'm here for support and to offer support.

Heather

by on Feb. 2, 2012 at 8:14 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-2):
lifeisajoy
by Member on Feb. 4, 2012 at 12:06 PM

Heather--glad to get to know you--I have been through what you have --overwhelmed with emotions-I am no longer that way but it sure was a long journey-not saying emotions never come back-but way way way less than use to--I use to have flashbacks like mad crazy and that sucked and not for a very long time--talk to me anytime--

appraisergirl
by New Member on Feb. 10, 2012 at 9:51 PM

Thanks lifesajoy, for replying.   I'm feeling way better than I was when I wrote this post.  It is so difficult for me to go back into my past, I just wish there was an erase button.  I've done really well for myself, I have a great family and a great marriage, I am a nice person.  Don't know why I can't seem to be content with what I have and leave the rest of the yuckiness far behind... it really was so long ago.  

It seems as though the road will be bumpy for the rest of my life.   My emotions, anxiety and self esteem are out of whack... sometimes I feel as though my emotions are in control of me.   Sometimes I will just start crying for no apparent reason, or certain smells close my throat, while other situations ignite panic in me and I just want to be normal and live a normal life, I would like to feel content. 

I was abused as a kid... per the therapist "severely".  It was just my life, I didn't know any better, I never thought abuse could be considered mild... it's all atrocious.  Somehow being told the severity of the situation, really effected me.   She told me that my Mom "neglected" me.  That my Dad "abandoned" me.  It was a truth that I never knew until she told me.   The information made me ashamed, embarrassed, and extremely depressed, my emotions overwhelmed me, I lost control.  I stopped therapy, it was just too much information to process.  There was relative calm that came to me after I quit.  This was a few years ago.

So I recently started therapy again... and the revelations and memories that come up are so traumatic, it's like living in the past again.  I'm hurting and consumed by my sorrow.  And in my moments of clarity, I see that I have a wonderful husband, beautiful kids and a great life and I can't remember why I keep putting myself through it all again, so I run away and I stopped therapy again.  Perhaps this is something that should be done when the kids are grown.

Thanks also for the journaling advice, I've been a writer my whole life, perhaps because I never had a voice... I used writing instead to get it out.   My last therapist said that I need to tell my story, to be heard.  I don't want to.. I don't want anyone else to have to hear that.. it's disgusting.  I like writing because it doesn't have to be heard or even read, but putting it out here in cyberspace really does feel cathartic.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)