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Hi to everyone

Posted by on Jul. 11, 2008 at 12:02 PM
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Hi everyone, I am new to this.  I went searching for something that will give me some sence of connection with something because I'll tell ya I feel so lost right now I haven't a clue.  I found out that my husband has been lying to me for sometime now and he is really good at it.  I don't know whats true and whats not and the more that I investigate,  I fell more and more stupid for believing in him and in us.  Now I am at the point where I have to make a decision.  Do I take control of everything and be a mother or a babysitter a keeper to him while I try to raise good, loving boys and go back to a 65 hour a week job where my hours could range from 6am to 1am depending on the day and the shift, keeping my husband as a live in helper for the boys or make him leave, get a divorce and do everything o my own.  I don't even know if I could do everything on my own.  But what kind of example would I be setting for my boys either way.  Do I stay married, put aup a good front and pretend that we are what marrage should be, hating him seceretly, not being happy inside fwhile everyone else thinks I am never know what really goes on.  Or, get dirvorced, best case my boys have to live what I did when I was growing up.  Choosing to spend Christmas with mom New years with dad.  Remembering if this is the weekend that they go see dad or if its ok to go to the Birthday party instead. If he'll be mad.  That is even if hes around.. how does one make that kind of decision????
by on Jul. 11, 2008 at 12:02 PM
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Replies (1-4):
moosie711
by on Jul. 14, 2008 at 1:50 AM
You have to do what is right for your children.   The kids deserve to have a peaceful home and not one filled with rage and hostility.    If you have move out on your own in order to give this to them, then you should.    I think it is worse to force them to live in a home with parents who hate each other then to put them thru divorce.   I am so sorry you even have to think about this...I understand where you are coming from.  Best of luck.

  Proud August 2004 Momma 

                                                                      

CYNDIPINK08
by New Member on Jul. 26, 2008 at 8:28 PM

I AM IN THE SAME VOTE AS YOU BUT I JUST FILED. HE STILL HASNT BEEN SERVED AND I AM A NERVOUS WRECK JUST THINKING HOW CRAZY MAD HE IS GOING TO GET. TO ME, MY SON WILL BE HAPPY SEEING HIS MOM HAPPY AND RIGHT NOW I AM MISERABLE. WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS, I PUT UP A FRONT OF A HAPPY WIFE FOR YEARS BUT I REACHED MY EXPLODING POINT THAT I DONT WANT TO DO IT ANYMORE. BUT THAT DECISION IS FOR YOU TO MAKE... NO ONE ELSES. GOOD LUCK.

Mom23247
by New Member on Aug. 9, 2008 at 8:15 AM

To live in a loveless relationship with someone you don't trust is not a life.  Would you want your kids to live that way - what would you advise them to do?  That's your answer.  For me i want my kids to have a healthy view of what a marriage could be so I have no choice because my stbx has been verbally abusive for many years.  Its a hard decision to make.  Unfortunately for many of us it would be easier just to stay and take the abuse but in the end you know that's not the way to live.

For me there is no trust, he's lied, cheated on me and been deceptful our whole marriage and now after 22 years he has decided that he doesn't want to do the family thing anymore - I would rather struggle and raise our 3 kids by himself then be bound to a man who truly is not a man.

Good luck because I know that I struggled with this decision for a long time and spent many sleepless, tear filled nights over him and I know that you are doing the same.

Jessie_NavyMom
by New Member on Nov. 2, 2008 at 3:44 PM

You have to do what is right for you and your children. If you are not happy then how can you raise them? And remember our children learn what they see so if they see you allowing to treat you that way and trust me they see more than we think, they will grow up thinking that is okay.

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