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I'm ready to "fight"!

Posted by on Dec. 16, 2008 at 9:27 AM
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Well, I gave my "husband" divorce about 2 weeks ago, and he finally got back to me yesterday about them. I really thought this would go a bit easier, but he's hired an attorney and is trying to guilt me into giving in to him.

We've been married for over 21 years, and have an 18 yr.old dtr., still in high school. He basically left us over 8 years ago, but still has all his stuff in the house, and has a key and pretty much comes and goes during the day when no one is home, as he does take care of the yard. I was stupid, stupid, stupid for allowing this to go on, but I guess I was in kind of a "comfort zone". Anyway, I told him that I wanted him to sign the house over to me free and clear, and I would forfeit my 1/2 of his retirement and pension, which I am entitled to in the state of Florida. I also asked for alimony, albeit a little more than I thought he would go for, so as to leave room for negotiation. I am also forgoing six months worth of child support that I'm entitled to until my dtr. graduates next year.

HE says I'm not entitled to ANY alimony, as I have a good job. He also doesn't want to give up all of his interest in the house, as he thinks the housing slump will improve and he'll get more when the house sells. He actually wants to sell it right now! AND he doesn't think I have any right to HIS retirement or pension. I told him I'm not asking for anything more than I'm legally entitled to, and his response was that it might be legally right, but not MORALLY right. Like it was morally right when he pretty much abandoned us years ago. He said he didn't think I would do this to him! He has been paying 1/2 of the household bills all this time, even though he makes almost twice as much as I do, but I have been the one responsible for the daily expenses for our dtr. all these years. So now I'm ready to fight him for this. This is the only home our dtr. has ever known, and she will be going to college locally, so she still wants to live at home, and I don't want to give up our house. I was trying to be kind of nice about this, but the gloves have come off now!

by on Dec. 16, 2008 at 9:27 AM
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fooledagain
by New Member on Dec. 19, 2008 at 7:15 AM

You will need to consult your lawyer.  I had been going through a similar story. A house, a 9 year 25 year marriage.  At the time no job in the state of NY.  According to my lawyer child support 17% of his gross salary until she finishes school which included college.  College cost 50% of state college.  Alimony a judge would award a duration of 1/2 the years married.

The house and pension was the negotiation to get the whole house I would have to give up my 1/2 of the pension. (do not forget if you need any of this money you get hit with penalties)  This had nothing to do with alimony or child support or his obligation toward college.   I was also told that alimony and child support could change if he started another family and it caused hardship on the new children (every child has a right I was told)

Something I would think about is take away his key, you do not know what he is checking out when you are not there.  He should not have the freedom of his own life and the comfort of yours.  Keep the house with the thought the market could come back sell it and get a townhouse something that you do not have to maintain.  Lawn and leaf care eats into your new life and is something that gets harder as you get older. 

Fight hard now stand your ground to him so when you make little concessions he will be thankful.

 

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