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MIL problems please give me advice on my question i posted! Please help!!

Posted by on Jun. 21, 2010 at 10:36 AM
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Hello, everyone I am struggling with trying to do the right thing. I am so tired of trying to be nice to my mother-in-law. She treats my family like its my husband and the kids. She dont invite us to participate on family trips and i believe its because of me. When we are on the trip she will talk to the kids and my husband but she dont have two words for me. I told my husband after 8 years of being married, im done with trying to deal with her. Should I let my husband take the kids to visit her without me? Or would that be giving her what she wants??

family car

by on Jun. 21, 2010 at 10:36 AM
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by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 1:43 PM

Well. . . Personally I know what your dealing with. But I feel like you should still go, cause your right she will get what she wants if you don't go, and if you do go then it will just make her more mad because she's not getting her way. I know that she will keep treating you like crap until she does get her way, but you know what you don't want her to win. You shouldn't let her actions make you upset or put you down. Because I did that with my MIL and she's not worth it AT ALL! I just try to be nice even though it pisses her off, and you just want to make her feel like you don't get to her. So try killing her with kindness even though she's probably the biggest b*tch you know. An just think to yourself that you aren't around to satisfy her, but you are around to satisfy your husband and kids. So don't worry about her and like I said just kill her with kindness. Works everytime :D

*Brittany*Ann*Parton*,*Travis*Y.J*Parton*, in love*Bethany*Ann*Parton*toddler girl

by New Member on Jun. 28, 2010 at 11:27 PM

You should definitely go. You, your hubby, and kids are a family...stay together. Show your MIL that no amount of rudeness, complaints, etc. are going to keep you from being with those you love. Don't let her get her way. She wants you out of the picture, whether that is on vacations or out of your hubby's life. I have read on another forum comments made by MILs saying the only hope they have of getting their son back is if their wife dies or he leaves her! That is sick! I hope you don't have a MIL like this, but if so, don't give her the pleasure of your absence...that's exactly what she wants. I know it won't be fun, easy or enjoyable for you to put up with her, but just stick by your hubby's side and be the wife and mother you are to your family. Let her know by your actions that she will never push you out of the picture...eventually she will get the hint. Good luck!

by New Member on Jun. 30, 2010 at 1:34 AM

DO NOT give in. My mother-in-law is the same way. The thing she doesn't realize is that my son would not exist if not for me. She acts like a jealous ex instead of family. But, if you give in now, she will see that she can manipulate you and get a reaction to her bitchiness from you. So, I would do the exact opposite. If she wants your husband and kids she has to take you too.

by New Member on Jul. 1, 2010 at 10:28 AM

See she is fine as long as she can control everything we do, like whenever SHE WANTS SOMETHING. like visiting or seeing the kids. when she dont get her way then she gets mad. She calls him and ask him things and he tells her, let me talk to anna and see what she says and i believe that pists her off. if she was smart then should know that he is gonna ask me first,but i guess she still thinks she can tell him what to do and she has really messed up because we want be visiting anytime soon. Silence eats them up everytime, when you dont deal with folks, it bothers them more than anything.

by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 2:56 AM

That's true, the 'ol silent treatment. My SIL of a brat is suffering from that and refuses to say her share of sorries STILL and yet she wonder's why she is being treated "oh so cruel". FYI she stalked us (Mu husband, my son and I)to a beach after he told her repeatedly not to dare show her face on OUR trip. She is either really ball-sy  or just plain stupid not to heed his warning. The answer is obvious.

If I were you I would go, like everyone else said. Believe me, not going is the easier route but what is a lot more important is to stand your ground and not give her satisfaction. She is not the one to call the shots, or deserves to for that matter. I sincerly wish you the best of luck.

by New Member on Jul. 12, 2010 at 3:16 AM

if your husband is behind you maybe you guys should talk to her. the both of you! ask her why she doesnt like you. let her kno that you feel left out. if things dont change i wouldnt let it bother you too much. you kno your husband loves you and will be with you. as for letting your husband take the kids to see her,  it wouldnt be a bad thing. but dont just cut her out of your life either cause then that will be giving her what she wants. but if for some reason you just dont feel like dealing with her that day, then so be it! hope i helped a bit! i feel the same way about my MIL!

by New Member on Jul. 14, 2010 at 2:29 PM

Stand your ground & do not give in! Just smile & do not let her see that it is upsetting you that she isn't talking to you. Or again she wins! Thats one thing my MIL hates more than anything is being stood up too or put her lies back in her face. You stand tall & stand your ground!! it with that "eat shit bitch" smile!

by on Jul. 15, 2010 at 5:41 PM
You could always ask your husband to help in getting you into conversations... She'll talk about something & he'll say, "yeah, Anna had that same problem, tell her, honey" Then, if she completely ignores you, then your husband should say something... He should be the one to tell her that she will respect his whole family & if she can't then he'll stop visiting. His family should come first. That means, his wife & his children. If you're unhappy b/c she's blatantly treating you like you don't count, then, yeah, he should say something to her... probably not in front of you, but definitely call her out on her immature behavior. 8 years is a long time, especially when there's kids involved. Whatever is up her butt should have long been dislodged by this point. Good luck.
by New Member on Jul. 20, 2010 at 4:31 PM

I completely agree with the last post I have gone through the same crap and it really is his place to stand up for his family.

by New Member on Jul. 21, 2010 at 8:07 AM

I refuse to give her what she wants, I know Im like a thorn in her side. my hubby is actually starting to see her through my eyes and she has beentrying to call him, he want answer the phone. I told him i refused to let your mother destrpy what we have built together. if she cant be respectful than im not dealing with it. he is hurt by it but i told him thats who she is and you cant change her, just give her the silent treatment.

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