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i kinda flipped my shit...(will be long sorry)

Posted by on Sep. 4, 2012 at 8:32 AM
  • 17 Replies
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I know no one will comment or probably read this since this group seems to have gone dead but i need to get this off my chest. My MIL called the other day to ask my DH if he got her text about his step gpa dying. He said yes. She continued to talk to him about it so he went outside. I was fixing stuff inside so I couldn't go outside yet, but when I did he's asking her where the funeral home is & if she'd get him directions to the cemetery. UM Hello?! I know where this place is & the funeral home site gives u directions to the cemetery. He had no reason to ask his mom except to play baby boy & mommy will u do it for me. Yes I know i was slightly jealous b/c as many of u may remember we've had so many issues w/ the MIL that i've written her off. I though DH had supported me but the 1st time she calls he's back to playing her game. Never once did he ask about her behavior at Izzys party, he said it never crossed his mind. WOW,really? THis women disrespects me, him & is rude to everyone of MY friends & family & he just forgot about it?! Some of u may be saying i'm insensitive b/c someone had died. Well i'm not, noone in his family has had anything to do with man in 5-6 years so theres no mourning going on. I told him i was upset that he never once even thought about it b/c thats what his family does w/ her they forget her bad behavior so she thinks she can continue. In the entire 20 min conversation never once did she even ask about her grandkids, that she hasn't seen in 3 months. This women takes the cake & i'm afraid she's going to take my husband too. He ignores her as long as she ignores us but as soon as she calls, he jumps right into her lap forgetting all the wrong she has done. I've tried to talk about it but this pregnancy has got my hormones all crazy so all i do is cry so he told me that i'm the drama queen & i cause all the problems & he doesn't want me @ the funeral b/c I'll start a scene!! I asked him when did i ever cause a scene in public? NEVER its always his mother showing her ass, but b/c i'm upset now its all my fault. Yes i know that i should've just ignored it but its so hard to understand why that wasn't on his mind when she called. oh well thanks for reading & any words of encouragement!

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by on Sep. 4, 2012 at 8:32 AM
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Replies (1-10):
hmichel00
by New Member on Sep. 5, 2012 at 3:04 PM

dang that sucks! My situation is not at all the same as yours but I do sympathize with you. We actually LIE with my mother in law and I have to personally witness all of my hubby's "moma's boy" shit. The only thing I can say is that from experience I have learned to vent about my MIL to my good friends and some family....but I try to limit how much I actually say to him. I know my hubby's never going to fully understand how I feel about certain things regarding her...because that's his mom. So I try not to rag on her so much and instead focus on our marriage and how to kkep it strong. This may not be of any help to you but keep your head up and stay strong. Keep your man in love with you and she can never fully win! LOL

hmichel00
by New Member on Sep. 5, 2012 at 3:05 PM

*live with MIL not lie lol

 

hkcason
by Member on Sep. 6, 2012 at 7:30 AM
Yikes! That would totally suck! I know I shouldn't bitch @ him. It does no good cause he's tried to talk to her about it but she blames everyone else.

Quoting hmichel00:

dang that sucks! My situation is not at all the same as yours but I do sympathize with you. We actually LIE with my mother in law and I have to personally witness all of my hubby's "moma's boy" shit. The only thing I can say is that from experience I have learned to vent about my MIL to my good friends and some family....but I try to limit how much I actually say to him. I know my hubby's never going to fully understand how I feel about certain things regarding her...because that's his mom. So I try not to rag on her so much and instead focus on our marriage and how to kkep it strong. This may not be of any help to you but keep your head up and stay strong. Keep your man in love with you and she can never fully win! LOL

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grplovesjlp
by on Sep. 8, 2012 at 10:12 AM

 so go with him and dont speak to your MIL

hkcason
by Member on Sep. 11, 2012 at 9:45 AM
1 mom liked this

I did, she didn't speak to us at all, barely looked at us. it just driuves me crazy she pretends to be this poor gma who never gets to see her grandkids, but never does anything about it. its ok tho, if u read my latest post in this soap opera of my life u'll see its all over...

mrs.staulters
by New Member on Jan. 2, 2013 at 12:52 PM

wow sounds like the same b.s im going threw...my m.i.l is horriable shes mean rude filthy and has been mean to our kids and i told her off n banned the witch from ever seeing my family since my husband couldnt do it....noone talks to her anymore but i know it will be short lived my hubby seems to forgive the woman everytime...angry

hkcason
by Member on Jan. 3, 2013 at 9:06 AM


Quoting mrs.staulters:

wow sounds like the same b.s im going threw...my m.i.l is horriable shes mean rude filthy and has been mean to our kids and i told her off n banned the witch from ever seeing my family since my husband couldnt do it....noone talks to her anymore but i know it will be short lived my hubby seems to forgive the woman everytime...angry

My Dh's unicorn has been caged, not dead yet, but getting closer. All sorts of crud happened around Christmas, but it was to be expected. Guess I could post about it, but all I care about is the fact that he seems to be sticking to our plan. Tell your DH he can forgive & gorget all he wants & have a relationship w/ her but you & the kids will no longer be disrespected & therefore have no contact w/ her. & GOOD LUCK

joyfullem
by Member on Jan. 3, 2013 at 10:39 AM

My MIL is a total bit*h and she hasn't seen our kids since Fathers day.  She has told DH that I am not welcome but she wants him and the kids to come for holidays and stuff um HELL no anyways whenevr they talk which I think has been twice since June he forgets the major stuff that has been bothering us about her.  He doesn't mean to he just forgets.  Your Dh needs to start taking your side or it will eat at your marriage.

pam355
by New Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 10:27 AM

Hi I am new to the group. I am happy to be a part of this group. I am a MIL and wrote the book MIL DIL Dilemma. I have read many posts and decided to reply to this one. I think MIL's do need to step back and not interfere. DIL's need to refrain from judgements and give the relationship time and patience. I have 3DIL's and 1 SIL I do love them all and they are all so different. First off I think DIL's really need to believe they come first with their husbands. If you agree with this then feeling twinges of jealousy over hus relationship with his mother wouldn't bother you in the least. There is room in his heart for many kinds of love. You are right that he won't deny his mother. During my research I saw a man who  stopped talking to his mom for 10 yrs. but renewed the relationship. I guess a DIL would have to think of her own son if she has one. She will forgive him anything and he knows it. He senses her unconditional love. The same holds true no matter what his age and the man knows this. DIL's are okay calling or having their mom stop by but MIL's need to call first and that's ok. See their are new ground rules for the MIL but no one tells her this. As a result many MIL's spend years trying to get it straight. Bottom line is in my 15 yrs. of research for the book which I began as a  DIL and finished as a MIL I discovered the problems were the same. MIL's fear losing their sons and grandchildren. DIL's seem to fear the intimidation their MIL's inspire in them. If one thinks in terms of motherhood, one can appreciate asking another to take on their mother is difficult. DILs need to feel confident in their position. Even if he at times caters to mom he still places wife and kids first. The bit of jealousy creeps into both womens thinking process. DIL has the right to make the decisions with her husband. MIL has been doing it for such a long time it is difficult for her to step back and let go and she must. The crazy thing is the problems are the same with every geneeration. We will all most likely play in both roles. It's not about competition but compromise. In the end it takes more out of a person to fight and be in a state of turmoil. Sometimes also it might not be about us as much as we think. One of my DIL's said it one time that it drove her crazy when I was quiet because she thought I was mad or something. I laughed and said those were the times I was fighting with my husband. I am sorry for your turmoil especially being pregnant. One more thing. i worked it out with my MIL through jokes and laughter. It became easier to let out things either of us didn't like. Anger got diffused this way. My best god bless and I hope things improve. pam  

duejan13th
by Member on Jan. 17, 2013 at 7:59 AM
I feel your pain
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