i've cried all night long LONG, BUT I NEED HELP!!
Last night both my SIL came over last night to discuss a bunch of Facebook crap. The 1 whom we aren't on good terms(my dh sister) had posted a lot of crap about being left out & so i finally emailed her so we could get it out in the open. She lied again about the stuff not being about us even when i kept saying there were a whole lot of coincidences, but whatever. it turned to the in-laws even tho i didn't want it too, but my Dh kept pushing it b/c he really wanted his sister to understand where we were coming from. a lot of things were discussed but what really made me upset was the fact that my MIL is going around telling people that ay Izzys bday party I pushed her when she tried to hold Izzy & put my hand in her face. I can't believe she hates me so badly that she would make up something that horrible. I actually posted about this b4 b/c i thought it was comical that she flung herself in the chair. Little did I know it was all part of her plan. Its so crazy cause i was holding Izzy with the same hand I held up @ MY waist level & SHE was already standing up. I'm having such a hard time with this, I know people say God doesn't give u more than u can handle but holy cow he must have alot of faith in me. I know I can not confront this women b/c i'm so hurt by all the things she has done to me that i don't think i could get it out. I NEED HELP!!! I really have no idea what to do. my dh wants to try to work things out w/ his sister but after our conversation & her calling me a liar more than once i don't think i can have an honest relationship w/ her & whats the point of having a relationship if its not an honest one? he's hopeing that if his parents see him & his bro & sis are getting along that they'll want to be a part of it. the the last thing i want. i want nothing to do w/ this women. any words of encouragment or advice would be very much welcome, i know y'all said b4 to cut them off, but thats not working, my hubby ignores them as long as they ignore us but when she calls he jumps right back w/ them.
Just tell him if you want to have a relationship with them I wont stop you, but me and my child will not. Too much has gone on.
Guess I should update this a little, the very next weekend my DH goes to his Uncles bday party. There sitting on the couch was his mom & sister ripping him a new one to anyone that would listen. He decided then that he didn't want anything to do with them. Especially since his sister was suppose to invite us all to supper a couple days after she left our house. We had a wonder couple months, until Christmas came & his sister started the Facebook shit again. B/C we had decided to CO his Mom, Dad & sister I thought we both understood what that meant, but he got all hopeful again & called his sister which started another battle. Then come Christmas morning I get a text from my niece. She said my FIL was at their house & on his way to ours next. I told my hubby that he needed to tell him no b4 he even had a chance to come over. That went over so well & my hubby accused me of having no heart. (nice i know) So then I had to be the bad guy who reminded him of why we as a couple had decided that his parents were no longer welcome at our house & why we had cut them off in the 1st place. I reminded him that over a year ago when his Dad sttod in our kitchen I told him he had to make a decission. He was either in my kids lives & he made an effort to be around them or he wasn't. When i don't hear from u for 6 months i assume u want nothing to do with us! So now that the holiday brainwashing is starting to wear off my DH is getting back to normal :) but damn that was a rough month. Now I just have to hope he doesn't pull this shit again one bb#3 gets here! He flips a lot depending on the season.
If I am you. I would hold your ground but stay very cram at all times, no more tears. Let your husband and kids meet his family if they want. Go to moves or to a spa but stay clear of your in laws for sometime until they get your message. This may take a long time. My sister in law use to cause mischief. She on more than one occasion tried to undermine my Marrage and relationship with the rest of her family. Every time she did this I exposed it in front of the family and backed of. Today I am the winner. My ML and SL turned out losing more. The rest of my in-laws caught on and all the stories they said about me remains nothing more than fiction stories.
These people are bullies and like to fight. I was not going to be there food.
B/c of all the lies & distrust, there's no way my children will ever spend time with them w/o me being there. I've seen how they talked about my other SIL to her son when she wasn't around & I will never subject my kids to that. I've always told my DH that he is more than welcome to go to their house,he just chooses not to b/c he wants them to understand that our family is a package deal & they just can't pick & choose which parts they want. It's been over a year since my MIL has spoken to me & I don't think it bothers her so cutting them off wasn't a big deal to me or my kids. DH still wishes they were normal but every new thing they do he realizes that's not going to happen. I'm glad you have gotten to your good place & I can't wait til we're there. We're close but just not quit there yet.
Quoting Molly2u:
If I am you. I would hold your ground but stay very cram at all times, no more tears. Let your husband and kids meet his family if they want. Go to moves or to a spa but stay clear of your in laws for sometime until they get your message. This may take a long time. My sister in law use to cause mischief. She on more than one occasion tried to undermine my Marrage and relationship with the rest of her family. Every time she did this I exposed it in front of the family and backed of. Today I am the winner. My ML and SL turned out losing more. The rest of my in-laws caught on and all the stories they said about me remains nothing more than fiction stories.
These people are bullies and like to fight. I was not going to be there food.
Need Advice kinda long story
- hkcason
on Sep. 6, 2012 at 9:31 AM