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MIL making life living hell 9 yrs away

Posted by on Nov. 5, 2012 at 4:59 PM
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i'm 37 weeks along and my mil is trying to control my husband shes acting more like a ex wife then his mother in one night she called 16 times not counting the calls she made to my phone and then she had the nerve to call my mom and dad to find out why we wont answer the phone I've been to the hospital 3 times now for going into labor and its always after she calls and troughs one of her fits and me and my husband get into a fight about her, all yr long i have had to listen to that they are coming down for a wedding 10 months of her lying to my husband and my son about coming and seeing them but they couldn't even come for our wedding  she lye's about everything my son is almost 2 and she keeps saying shes sending him his birthday gift for his first birthday hmm hello stop the damn lying already i have had to block her off facebook and my cell phone since she keeps trying to start shit i could write on for days on all the crap she has done and lied about but anyway how do i get my husband to keep with his word he'll get all pissed off about the lye's and the calls but after a week or so he'll do anything to make her happy i have told him that my son isn't allowed to talk to her till she learns to stop the lying and acting like a ex wife and its been good she hasn't talked to my son in a month now but all weekend she kept calling and calling to talk to him she tries to act like she cares but she can't even remember his middle name what a great grandma huh? so how do i get my husband to stop tring to make his so called mother happy all the time and worry about how me and our son is ?

by on Nov. 5, 2012 at 4:59 PM
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Replies (1-6):
hkcason
by Member on Nov. 6, 2012 at 2:47 PM
It's so hard to convince him if he's not ready too. It took me 7 years, lots of tears, fights etc.4 my hubby to realize what a horrid person his mother is. Remind him the 2 of u r married, not him & his mother. That his immediate family does not include his parents anymore but u & ur son. Y'alls happiness comes 1st, not hers. I also wrote down everything his mother ever did, changed the name & had him read it. He was so pissed @ this person & when i told him it was his mother, well his eyes were opened. Good Luck :)
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aspirin84
by New Member on Nov. 6, 2012 at 4:31 PM

oh man i hope it doesn't take 7 yrs its already been 3 yrs.... but thats a real good idea of writing everything down and having him read it i think i'm going to try that thanks so much for the reply

hkcason
by Member on Nov. 7, 2012 at 9:10 AM

your welcome. another thing, not sure if u have time to read a book, its not very long, however, i know that if i would've had this book years ago, my relationship w/ my hubby would be totally different. Don't think it could've changed MY inlaws, however, it could help u. It's called: A Wifes Guide to In-Laws; How to Gain your Husbands Loyalty Without Killing His Parents by Jenna D. Barry. I bought mine for under $20 on lulu.com

KrissyKC
by Member on Nov. 10, 2012 at 12:55 AM
1 mom liked this

Step as much out of it as you can.

Just tell DH honestly.   That level of need that she has is too much for you and your L/O(s) to endure.   Tell him point blank that you are finished with the stress and dealing with it.   Change your cell number and NEVER give it to her, discuss with your own parents if they would like to do similar, or how they'd like to handle her never calling them again.

Then, tell DH that if he spends all evening dealing with 16 phone calls from her, then he can pretty much expect to not do ANYTHING (sex, movie night, etc..) on the lines of "fun" time for himself or your family.   He'll need to learn to turn off the phone and stop responding, so that he can be a good Dad and husband to his family. 

Then walk away, wash your hands of the situation.   If he brings her up or gets frustrated... just calmly remind.... "I understand, but remember that I have decided to stop being stressed about your mom.  I'm afraid you are dealing with this alone and I don't want to hear anything she has to say about me or the kids, so please don't pass it on."

happinessforyou
by Member on Dec. 12, 2012 at 12:31 PM

If the shoe was on the other foot so to say, if this was your DH bothered by YOUR mom, what would you say and do? What kind of expectations would DH have of you getting rid of your mom??

IDK- hope you find a way to communicate what you need. :) GL

joyfullem
by Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 8:27 AM

Well the good news is your son could care less if she visits.  He probably doesn't even know who she is.  As far as your husband if you have told him how you feel and he still forgives and forgets you may have to wait untill he gets upset enough or it just clicks.

It's his mom and he wants to believe the best in her even if it isn't there.  Eventually she'll slip up and he'll understand.

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