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Need Advice

Posted by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 6:46 PM
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Okay, so I have a friend whom I have always been close with but she has become the "holier than thou" person over the past couple of years. It all started out when she called my child a bastard. Now, i get it, it is the technal term when a woman is not married and has a child but she is supposed to be a friend... and last i checked friends don't do that no matter how techinal it is... And fyi I am with the father have been for almost 4 years, logan was planned blah blah blah

Anyway... as the months have gone on she gets more and more on her high horse about things and then ever so "lovongly" insults me or gives 'advice" or simply out right tells me that I am wrong. Well, everytime I talked to her I was always mad when i would get off the phone. So I did the childish thing and I have stopped taking her phone calls and I did not go and visit while I was in NC.

So, how do i tell her that she is being an ass with out being on myself. i have already taken the bad road by not talking to her at all and I feel really bad but i just don't know how to tell her that it is my life and I just want to talk, not be advised or told that I am wrong.  HELP?!

baby

Michelle

by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 6:46 PM
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Replies (1-10):
monkeysma86
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 9:15 PM

 I think that you should answer her next call and explain it nicely. If she doesn't understand then it's not worth your time. If my friend called my son that I would be ticked off and probably not talk to her either, but I know these days friends are nice to have. So I would try to hash it out calmly and honestly... and let her know how you feel. It's your life and you're happy with how things happened, that's all that matters.

jbishop928
by Group Admin on Apr. 1, 2010 at 11:43 PM


Quoting monkeysma86:

 I think that you should answer her next call and explain it nicely. If she doesn't understand then it's not worth your time. If my friend called my son that I would be ticked off and probably not talk to her either, but I know these days friends are nice to have. So I would try to hash it out calmly and honestly... and let her know how you feel. It's your life and you're happy with how things happened, that's all that matters.


I agree. Good luck :)

Jemia
by Group Admin on Apr. 2, 2010 at 8:29 AM

I agree with monkeysma86.

JoeyJrsMomma
by Silver Member on Apr. 2, 2010 at 3:51 PM

Is she my sister?! My sister is exactly like that. Even banned her kids from coming to my house at one point bc me and DH weren't married so that ment we were living in sin and she refused to subject her children to such sinners. We have just agreed to disagree and there are certain subjects we don't talk about, religion being the main one, followed by politics. I would talk to her about how you feel and see if she can either play nice or at least agree to avoid things that bring tension in your friendship.

SophieLee
by Group Admin on Apr. 2, 2010 at 5:03 PM

I will try... As I said, I am avoiding. it just baffels me how she can say things like that and think it is okay?! I mean really?! Come on.... I will talk to her... So, can I wait till she calls again or do i need to call her?

LaMommyof3
by New Member on Apr. 2, 2010 at 5:36 PM
What I would do is call her. Pray to the Lord to give you the strength not to blow your top before you call. Calmly explain to her that you do not appreciate her calling your child a bastard or any of the other criticism she has shown. If she starts in, tell her that this is the way you feel and if she can't respect that, then you can't be friends with her anymore and not to call again.
DyerMaker
by Member on Apr. 2, 2010 at 7:16 PM

Personally, I think she keeps you around as her so called friend so that ahe can make her life feel less crappy. She thinks that by putting you down, or giving you unwarranted advice, she is doing you a service, but in reality, I bet she has some self esteem issues to deal with. She sounds insecure.

SophieLee
by Group Admin on Apr. 3, 2010 at 7:50 AM


Quoting DyerMaker:

Personally, I think she keeps you around as her so called friend so that ahe can make her life feel less crappy. She thinks that by putting you down, or giving you unwarranted advice, she is doing you a service, but in reality, I bet she has some self esteem issues to deal with. She sounds insecure.

i never thought of that... Good point. I will try and call her tonight after Logan goes to bed. I need to just get this over with. LOL

baby

Michelle

janel09
by Member on Apr. 3, 2010 at 9:23 PM

I would just drop her as a friend. I have the same thinking about unmarried mothers and thier kids but would never tell that to my friends. My friend had her daughter the same time I had my first. The difference is that I'm married. I never went to her and called her daughter that. My husband and I have worked with so many unwed mothers, but never once have I ever thought to say that to their face. At the same time.... before I had kids I was judgemental and would give people that 'advice'. I didn't have friends. Now that I'm a mother, I'm more tolerant because if you are doing something that I don't agree with, I flat out couldn't care less. It has nothing to do with me.

AbramsMama
by Bronze Member on Apr. 4, 2010 at 11:11 PM

 Well first off everyone lives in sin every single day even your friend and no ones sin is better then another. Only God can judge you! And also a bastard is a fatherless child...and his daddy is still around so that is not right.

I personally would not want someone like that in my life, but I don't know how far your relationship dates back ya know? but I would just come right out and tell her how you feel but she will most likely play dumb. She should know that she is hurting your feelings and it is hindering your relationship! I hope she can stop her foolishness and be a real friend!!! HUGS!!!

 

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