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13 month-old, Suddenly fussy, clingy

Posted by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 1:23 AM
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i could count the number of bad days i had with my 13-mo. old son on one hand until recently. the past few days he has become very fussy, whiny and clingy. he wants me to hold him constantly but not sit down or stand in one place for too long. if i sit down, he pushes away from me, as if he wants down; when i put him down, he reaches for me like he wants me to pick him back up. when i do, the cycle repeats.... i have tried to distract him with a book, toys, even riding in the car is not as effective as it used to be. when i am doing things around the house, he just crawls behind me, whining. i interact with him alot because i stay home most of the time. he has my undivided attention, at least, 4-5 hours every day. what is causing him to be so needy, all of the sudden?  

by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 1:23 AM
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by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 8:00 AM

I think it's natural. I don't have much advice but I seen this happen with my nephew (14 months) This "phase" lasted for him quite awhile!! Started at about 9 months, I haven't seen him in about a month so not sure how it's going now but it was getting better for my sister. When he was here he would do the same. Trail me around fussing and crying. If I left the room he would bawl. Constantly need to be held, etc. I think it's some kind of seperation anxiety. It's not that fun though!! We never really found anything that worked... so good luck to you!

by Group Admin on Jun. 27, 2010 at 10:02 AM

My daughter went through a stage like that. She is 16 months now. She didn't want to be put down, have me leave her sight, and if I was holding her I had to stand. If I were to sit down she would get mad and push me away and cry. If I put her down she would fall to the floor and throw a fit (not a pretty sight when your 14 month old is doing that!) She was (and still is now that the stage is over) a very easy baby. For bedtime and naptime she just wants me to lay her in her crib and walk out of the room. I have never had to rock her to sleep or pat her back unless she was sick. But when this stage started for her I had to rock her to sleep every naptime and bedtime and the car didn't help like it had before.

Her fussy stage only lasted about a month but after a few weeks of her screaming at night to be rocked until she fell asleep I would rock her for 5 min then lay her in her bed to fall asleep on her own. She would cry but each night it got less and less. Then one day I went to rock her and she just pushed me away and tried to get me to put her in her crib. She didn't want/need to be rocked anymore. Eventually the having to hold her all the time started to slow down too. She still stands at my feet and fussys on occasion to be held if I am doing dishes or something but not like it was a few months ago. It does get better and I think it is a stage.

It could bee teething since its time for you little one's one year molars so try some orajel if his gums look white. If that is not the problem then just start showing him that he can play by himself and doesn't have to be held all the time. If he wants you to hold him then instead of picking him up sit down and put him in your lap and play with some blocks or read a book. He will squirm and fuss but you are still showing him that you love him by interacting with him. He will fuss and he will throw a fit if he doesn't get what he wants but it will get better and you are not alone.

by Group Admin on Jun. 27, 2010 at 10:07 AM

Great advice.... Logan is going through this right now... UGH!!!! I swear.... This is hard!!! Anyway.. I hope we both keep out sanity through this! LOL

by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 10:20 AM

 First... separation anxiety REALLY takes hold about this age.  And second, check his teeth.  My twins are almost 17 months old and they are constantly teething now.  So that makes them pretty miserable. 

Stock up on the baby Oraljel, but also try  getting a bunch of thin wash clothes.  Get them wet and then put them in the freezer.  I fold them in sort of a long skinny twisty line before I put them in the freezer.  Then I give the boys one (each) to suck on.  They can mash them right on the little tooth that is hurting the most.  It helps.

Yes, you need to teach him that playing by himself is fun.  Try getting him some new toys and taking away a bunch of the baby toys.  You can play with him, after he's learned to play by himself.  You can also put him in his highchair and let him play in there while your doing what ever you need to do.  Just roll him into what ever room you're working in.  I drag two highchairs into the bathroom just so I can clean the tub!

You might also try giving him something to of yours that smells like you to hold while you run to the bathroom or something.  I wear this thin sweater all the time.  It's ugly has sin (now... it's been baby abused) but its soft and cozy and doesn't make me too warm.  When I need to step out of the room or a minute I give it to who ever is having the harder time and let them hold it until I come back.  First it gives them something new to play with and second it smells like mommy... and that's nothing but good!

I know this is hard, but it will pass.

by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 10:29 AM

 wow you described Liam to a t most days! i am so sorry you are going thru it too, but so glad I am not alone. I thought it was something i was doing.....I know liam is cutting teeth like crazy, I see new ones almost daily. But I think its seperation anxiety too. But ppfffttt that doesnt explain the situation you described, I pick him up and set him on my lap and he acts like he wants down, I put him down and he freaks or repeats the cycle...just like you said. ugh I hope it stops soon too its driving e crazy.

by Group Admin on Jun. 27, 2010 at 10:43 AM

Connor has days like this. Mostly days we have to go to the home daycare I work at, which is only 2 days a week. He's SO jealous of other kids and doesn't want me to hold them! Hope it passes quickly for you! :)

by Bronze Member on Jun. 27, 2010 at 5:22 PM

 My son is 15m and is the same way when he has teeth coming in. His last moral was the worst yet! He wanted nothing but me and I had to hold him 24/7!!!! It gets very trying, but always remember "this to shall pass!!!"


by Silver Member on Jun. 28, 2010 at 11:03 AM

My son does that when he's teething, he's really bad. 

by New Member on Jun. 28, 2010 at 1:53 PM

Oh lordy, my 13 mo old is doing all of the above and then some!!! And he has been like this for several months---part sepeartion anxiety & part teething---the tantrums for no apparent reason are the worse--scream if I hold him, screams if I put him down---it has slowly gotten better & one trick I learned is when I pick him up & he starts screaming and pushing me away, I lay him down on floor and let him scream for about a minute then pick him up again and he usually calms down then (for awhile at least)---otherwise I have no clue!!! And I will keep fingers crossed for all us Mommies that this phase is  short-lived!!!!

by on Jun. 28, 2010 at 1:56 PM

I agree with the teething theory.  My daughter is 14 months and it seems like in the past few weeks, she's been acting exactly the same as your DS.  She's also a very good baby.  I'm a working mom and the few hours at night during the week I'm with her, if I leave her sight, she gets upset.  Alos, she starting shoving everything back into her mouth.  I've been told she's starting to cut her first molars which take quite a while.   Good luck - it's hard sometimes, but it's also a blessing to feel needed.

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