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OMGosh...I need help and don't know what to do....piog

Posted by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 5:56 PM
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So I'm kinda new to this group...I have a 3 year old DD and a 18 month old DS, they have been fighting a lot....So my problem is a few things 1st DS keeps hitting and biting and being pretty rough with his sister and he even hits me... I have tried time out, smacking his hand, repeatly tell him thats a no no in a firm voice...and I cant get him to stop! and 2nd they both have been having temper tantrums like every where I go now this is a new thing they used to be really good but somthing happed and they are out of control and they dont even listen to me anyore...I'm crying as I type this... I'm out of ideas please help!

Angie

by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 5:56 PM
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SophieLee
by Group Admin on Aug. 7, 2010 at 6:14 PM

OKay... well here is what i think, take it as you want and use it how you will...

The 3 year old is old enough to understand what a consaquence is... so make it clear from the get go in the morning that if he does X then you will take away Y.... such as if he hits then he will lose silly bands... So, when he does hit, take it away, immedittly... and keep it going... I don;t think you need a set list or anything, you can be broad about it if you want, if he misbehaves then he loses X.... Simple, and when he pitches a fit about it then let him know it was his choice to act the way that he did and that is why things are being taken away. And also you can make a chart for how they can earn said item back... If you take it, it has to be EARNED back no just giving it back. As for your younger one, you need to remove her from the situation and let her do her thing...  Example, if she is pitching a fit in the store then you tell her once maybe twice if it keeps up you are taking her to the car, and when it keeps up, leave the cart, tell them you will be back when you can and walk out.. go to the car and sit.... If you have to go home then do so. But make sure she knows clear as day that the behavior will not be tollorated...

Great book to read and where i got this idea from is "PArenting with Love and Logic" It's great! Good luck and dry your tears... You will make it!

ahawkins
by Member on Aug. 7, 2010 at 6:29 PM

that does help! Its the 18 month old that I'm having the hitting, biteing and pushing prob with...he just get sooo angry...

hlsnklsx2
by Group Admin on Aug. 7, 2010 at 8:50 PM

I have a 4 1/2 yr old son and an 18 month old daughter. They fight as well. Not as far as the biting but but they push and hit each other and do not listen to me. It's mainly my son that instigates it but my daughter fights back. It makes me want to pull my hair out sometimes. I have no clue what to do about it but would love to figure out something to stop it. At first I thought my son wanted attention, and I tried to give him special attention and take him places with just me and him or take him for ice cream or play with him at naptime when my daughter is sleeping and let him choose what we play. None of that helped. It didn't work. He still picks at her. Let me know if you find something that works.

jbishop928
by Group Admin on Aug. 8, 2010 at 1:55 AM

My son is my only child and he's into biting, hitting and all of that stuff right now!!! It's definitely an age thing. He does it when he's frustrated and can't TELL me he's frustrated. I still discipline him though. I want to get the book SophieLee mentioned! I keep forgetting to look it up on Amazon so I'll go now :) Good luck mama!

Bearsjen
by on Aug. 8, 2010 at 11:36 AM

 first of all ((((HUGSSSSS)))))) you are not alone mama! Liam(16 months) does this biting thing I call the sneak atack. it starts with kisses, so my guard is down, then wham nails me-hard. my first never bit so I am clueless too. I am not a hitter other than a tap on the hand to get his attn..and so thats out.he has gotten progressively "mean" tho, grabbing the cats tail, pinching me...and here is my thinking.

frustration.

they cant clearly communicate so t hey get mad. so what I do is repeat"use words Liam" then I ask"do you want cup/blanket/paci/..." one at a time, until something clicks, and I have also taught him simple signs for things like "eat/ no more/ty/hurts" and he is picking them up fast, and thats helped....meanwhile if he is having a fit, I pick him up and put him in a safe place, like his crib and say"ok break time"  for a few minutes to let him difuse ,and its for both of us, kwim? because its r eally hard sometimes , especially if he bites, to not crack him out of reflex. in a store I ignorre all I can-but again I have one, 2 would make me go bonkers...all you moms with more than one little one, hats off to ya!

~* I don't have friends here on Cafemom....I have a FAMILY*~

ahawkins
by Member on Aug. 9, 2010 at 2:12 AM

thank you ladies,I'm going to try the things you mentioned! 

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