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this is my story

Posted by on Nov. 18, 2010 at 2:17 PM
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I am 31 and am finally in a positive relationship..  After several abusive relationships and a horrible marriage I am finally happy...  

I met Ron in 95 when I worked at McDonalds..  I was 15 he was 19 and my boss!   We worked together for several years, then I graduated college, got a career and moved on with my life (I always liked Ron but I was in one of the above listed relationships)

IN Nov of 2009 I saw him on facebook and invited him over (I was single, divorced and wasnt looking for anything but friendship)..  Well I immediately knew we were going to be together, it was like the 10 years we didnt see each other never happened and we were teenagers again...  I was then 30 and him 34.


I went to Fl for christmas and when I came home he moved in with me 1-1-10.   We decided to quit the pill thinking it would take several months to conceive.   Well I got preg on 2-28-10.   We were so happy, buying pregnancy books (he was reading them) picking out names, baby bedding, telling everyone....  IT was great.   Saw the HB twice  108 and 123 (6w 1d).   We decided on Hayden Pete if it was boy.   Pete was my dads name and he passed away in 2002.   At my 10 week appt the doct couldnt find the hb on doppler but told me not to worry because it was prob too early....   I knew something was wrong..  My breast shrank back down to their barely B and I just didnt feel pregnant anymore.

Ron kept telling me everything was ok,  BUt when he went to work the next day I went to the ER (i was going to hear that HB, i hoped)..   They gave me an U/S  and from the look on the ladies face I just knew...  She told me maybe I was wrong with my dates...  There was no fetal pole.. ...  What happened to my baby we saw the hb weeks before.....   I didnt understand and she didnt give me any answers..  she just said she was "sorry" and said she need to speak to the doct or someone...  Walking outta the room, leaving me alone in the state of shock... 

I figured out how to use the phone on the wall and called Ron, he was at work.   All I could do was sob on his VM.   I guess he managed to hear the hospital name because at 330 he was in the ER with me...  Listening to them telling me my options, pass it on my own or have a D&C...   I just wanted to go home....

A few days later the bleeding started and got really really heavy...  My sister conviced me to go back to the hospital after a week of passing clots..   They did another U/S... this girl was wonderful and Ron was with me.   She could tell from the stomach one I still hadnt passed the baby..   I was bleeding so hard.  She told me to empty my bladder to do the vaginal u/s  but when i went into the bathroom I bleed so bad it looked like a murder scene....  I tried to clean up but i was in this panic...  I remember sitting on the toiet with my hands covered in blood from the TP and looking at the mess  just crying and saying how sorry I was...  I had a panic attack in the little bathroom.   I really dont remember much until I was up in a real room ( I think they gave me some drugs to calm me down)   and the Doctor came in....  He said "I am Dr. Hartman and I will be preforming your surgery....   he sat on the bed with me an explained what was going to happen and what I was going through....  Finally I had some answers.... Although he explained that they would not be able to find out why this happend...  "sometimes its just happens"

I spent the night in the hospital and woke up to two men (one nurse and some nurse in training) looking at my stuff....  Rather freaky.... Said they were checking to make sure I wasnt bleeding too much...I finally got out of the hospital at 3 that day...    26 hours later... with no baby,, just a big get well balloon from Ron.....   


Well its now november and I am preg again... Due 6-30-11...    I am scared to death... I saw the hb on friday it was 141 bpm....   I hope I get past where I was before..... Then maybe I can breath...    Thanks for reading my story, sorry about some of details, but thats how I remember it.//   JUST HORRIBLE...   

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by on Nov. 18, 2010 at 2:17 PM
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Replies (1-10):
BeccaMon
by on Nov. 18, 2010 at 2:26 PM

Sorry to hear everything you had to go through.  I had a miscarriage last November and it was heartbreaking.  I was 8 1/2 weeks along and like you I bled so bad I passed out in the bathroom at the emergency room to find at least 5 nurses/doctors trying to wake me up and fill me with fluids.  They gave me a shot to try to get my bleeding to stop but it wouldn't so they took me in for a D&C.  It was the most horrible day in my life.  I then found out 7 months later I was pregnant again and I am now 23 weeks along.  The very beginning was the hardest because I was so scared something was going to happen again.  All I can say is to relax and have faith that everything is going to work out.  Hope you have a Happy and Healthy 9 months.

firstimepreg30
by on Nov. 18, 2010 at 2:29 PM


Quoting BeccaMon:

Sorry to hear everything you had to go through.  I had a miscarriage last November and it was heartbreaking.  I was 8 1/2 weeks along and like you I bled so bad I passed out in the bathroom at the emergency room to find at least 5 nurses/doctors trying to wake me up and fill me with fluids.  They gave me a shot to try to get my bleeding to stop but it wouldn't so they took me in for a D&C.  It was the most horrible day in my life.  I then found out 7 months later I was pregnant again and I am now 23 weeks along.  The very beginning was the hardest because I was so scared something was going to happen again.  All I can say is to relax and have faith that everything is going to work out.  Hope you have a Happy and Healthy 9 months.

Thank you..  u made me cry reading this.....  A good cry...  

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lasombrs
by Group Owner on Nov. 18, 2010 at 2:29 PM
i am sorry for your loss. Getting pg again brings back all those raw emotions. Its normal to be terrified. I am currently due 7/4 although things do not look great atm. Please pm me anytime, we can we worried together :p
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BeccaMon
by on Nov. 18, 2010 at 2:37 PM

Your welcome.  Keep us posted on how everything is going.  Just know that you are not alone and feel free to message me anytime.

Txmommy13
by on Nov. 18, 2010 at 3:58 PM

Im so sorry for your loss. You dont have to appogize for anything you write,we've all been there. Im glad your pregnant again,and its going well.I will keep you in my thoughts and you keep us updated and let us know how everything goes.

It is normal to be worried. I was like that when i got pregnant again 4 months after my m/c.I was worried,then i passed where i had lost our dd in the previous pregnancy,but part of me was still worried.I dont think i could truely relax until the middle of the second trimester,when my doctor had me doing kick counts to ease my mind.

Suzie2mom
by on Nov. 18, 2010 at 7:24 PM

That's what I called my loss of our baby and I still feel the same. So happy for you that your prego again hun and try to think positive thoughts even with the pain of your first loss.             Big Hugs...  Welcome by the way and sorry we had to meet like this.

mandyjh
by on Nov. 19, 2010 at 11:44 PM
So sorry for your loss :( congrats on the new pregnancy!!! I hope you have a HH nine months
firstimepreg30
by on Feb. 13, 2011 at 10:22 PM

BUMP!

lasombrs
by Group Owner on Feb. 15, 2011 at 9:53 AM
how have things been going?
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firstimepreg30
by on Feb. 15, 2011 at 12:26 PM

pretty good thanks, found out were having a boy.   Everything seems to be going well in this pregnancy,, but I am scared about every little thing..   

Quoting lasombrs:

how have things been going?


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